6yo has sudden aversion to eating most foods

[Anonymous]

DD age 6yo had an incident eating food that went down the "wrong way" about a month ago. Though she did not actually choke, she did scared herself (and DH who was with her at the time). Initially afterwards she said her esophagus hurt (which made sense) and so wanted soft foods only. We had no problem with that. About week or so later she started requesting only foods she deemed non-choking hazards. DD went from being the sort of kid who literally is a joy to go out to eat with, be invited over to other friends houses for dinner etc...with an adventurous love of food and willing to try and all foods. Within weeks, she has severely limited what she is willing to eat. Going so far as to chew food for awhile and then spit it out in the garbage, and a new first...threw it away untouched at camp yesterday. (Previously she had been bringing home uneaten food as that was the school rule.) Sigh.

We've tried to continually validate the initial experience, but discuss how she can better control it from happening again. We've offered to cut all food into tiny pieces. We've been strict and said "this is what there is, eat it or go hungry" (which is what our firm, but delivered kindly rule has always been....only know she's opting for going hungry on more than one occasion. Which was not my goal.)

This has been causing a lot of stress for everyone in our family as we aren't sure where to go from here. In the meantime, I'm constantly coming up with new "soft meals" for her, without mentioning that is what I'm doing. For instance, she ate a humus and avocado on potato roll the other day. The thing is, as quickly as we introduce a new agreed upon go-to standard, within days she decides she isn't going to eat it anymore.

The meals she does eat, take 3-4x as long for her to finish. A bowl of yogurt or ice cream maybe just double the amount of time.

Is it time to seek out a therapist? No clue how to even start vetting one for this situation.

[Anonymous]

That does sound stressful and I don't have any constructive advice. However, validating her scary experience is the wrong tactic. Accommodating anxiety is almost always the wrong response.

Personally, I would pick a regular, non-soft food that she used to like and give that to her, stop humoring her.

[Anonymous]

I would seek a therapist, it sounds really scary to choke. If she can’t get over this by herself then get some help.

[Anonymous]

Yes on a therapist.

[Anonymous]

This same thing happened to me when I was around 5 years old, I never told anyone that I choked on the food, and my parents never made the connection or got help for me. It became a massive childhood issue and spiraled out of control, but I am also prone to anxiety.

The one choking incident started a 35 year phobia of choking on foods/certain foods and really limited my food intake as a child. I also would only eat soft foods/non choking hazards after that for pretty much my entire childhood and I stopped eating nearly altogether when I was in early elementary and stopped growing for a few years.

I am short and feel that if I had eaten during that important time I'd be taller (my parents are tall and I'm pretty short).

My parents saw the weird eating patterns but never thought to send me to a therapist. In college when I was under stress my choking phobia got much worse and at times when it got bad I lost a lot of weight. I'm now in my 40s and it has gotten a lot better but there are still a lot of foods that I will not eat under any circumstances (like nuts). I still cannot swallow pills, not even tiny ones because of the one choking incident.

[Anonymous]

Start with your pediatrician to rule out any physical issue, from there seek out a therapist.

[Anonymous]

PP here, I also wanted to add that I also became the slowest eater in the world after my choking incident, it would take me 15 minutes to eat a tiny amount of something. I was chewing it a million times to make sure I wouldn't choke on it. My parents would start bringing books if we went out to a restaurant because it would literally take me 2 hours to eat a normal size meal. This lasted for 20 + years too.

My recommendation is to find a therapist who focuses on anxiety issues.

[Anonymous]

OP here: thank you so much for sharing your stories, these responses alone are making me realize we need to call in some help. She actually did just see the pediatrician, and they were very blasé about it and chalked it up to picky eating (which I don’t think is the case.)

[Anonymous]

This same exact thing happened on an episode of ... what’s that show with the genius aspergery guy from Big Bang as a kid? The mom was actually blending all his food. Then they consulted a (wacky, unhelpful) psychiatrist. Kid left him and wanders into a bookstore where he finds a friend reading comics and eating ...licorice sticks? While reading the comic books he almost absent mindedly starts chewing on the candy and is cured. I guess the moral of the story is to trick her into eating by distracting her attention while simultaneously offering something good.

[Anonymous]

My 6 yo has also become a really picky eater. Have her 6 year molars come in yet or are her upper front teeth loose? That could also be part of the problem but she might not be able to verbalize it. Just keep giving her soft foods. If she isn't losing weight I wouldn't worry too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start with your pediatrician to rule out any physical issue, from there seek out a therapist.

This is good advice as a therapist will want to know that physically everything is fine. Since you have already given this some time, I think you should seek out a CBT therapist. They can help you figure out how best to move forward. The last thing you want to do is push too hard, have your child get upset and choke on her food again.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Get a therapist. She'll be cured before the end of the summer.

There's no physical issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 yo has also become a really picky eater. Have her 6 year molars come in yet or are her upper front teeth loose? That could also be part of the problem but she might not be able to verbalize it. Just keep giving her soft foods. If she isn't losing weight I wouldn't worry too much.

I disagree with this. With or without the help of a therapist, she needs to get back to eating not-soft foods. It may be quick or it may take a long time, but I wouldn't let it go.

[Anonymous]

Therapist. Stat! Enabling the anxiety by helping her avoid foods will only make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Get a therapist. She'll be cured before the end of the summer.

There's no physical issue.

You really have no way to know this.