ground rules for 7th grader who wants to hang out at school friend's house without adult presence

[Anonymous]

he's a semi-social kid so in the past never went to anyone's house whom we don't know the parents. he's making some new friends at school and has been invited to hang out at the friends' houses. we don't know these kids nor their parents. but i think kids do this all the time i just want to cover the basics in terms of ground rules and expectations to protect himself and the other kids. he also doesn't have a phone yet...

[Anonymous]

Condoms

[Anonymous]

Surprised it's ok with the friend's parents? Anyway, rules should be that he follows their rules and any rules that he would have at your house. He should tell you where he'll be. I assume there is a plan for him to get there/back and time for him to do his homework.

[Anonymous]

For me it would depend on his maturity level, and if the parent has said it's okay for their child to have friends over without them home.

If the parent said it's okay, would clarify if this is a few kids or just your son. I'd let him stay for just an hour in the beginning, then ramp up to two hours. If he was not coming home with homework done it would not go past two hours.

I would remind him to follow appropriate behavior even though the parent isn't there. No jumping on furniture, eating outside of the kitchen, if he makes a mess clean it up, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would for sure call that kid's parents to see if it is ok, to get a feel for the family, and to ask about guns. I'm still not sure it would be OK with me. Could the kids hang out at your house?

[Anonymous]

I was a "latch-key" kid home by myself after school starting in 7th grade. I had a small handful of kids I was allowed to have inside my apartment on our own, but there were strict rules in place, their parents had to be OK with the set up (my mom always called and confirmed herself), etc. My mom made it very clear that the first time a rule was broken, I was straight into some horrid afterschool program. I really enforced the rules as a result.

[Anonymous]

Time for a phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it would depend on his maturity level, and if the parent has said it's okay for their child to have friends over without them home.

If the parent said it's okay, would clarify if this is a few kids or just your son. I'd let him stay for just an hour in the beginning, then ramp up to two hours. If he was not coming home with homework done it would not go past two hours.

I would remind him to follow appropriate behavior even though the parent isn't there. No jumping on furniture, eating outside of the kitchen, if he makes a mess clean it up, etc.

Jumping in the furniture and making a food mess are not the concerns you should have with u supervised 7th graders. They are into much bigger things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me it would depend on his maturity level, and if the parent has said it's okay for their child to have friends over without them home.

If the parent said it's okay, would clarify if this is a few kids or just your son. I'd let him stay for just an hour in the beginning, then ramp up to two hours. If he was not coming home with homework done it would not go past two hours.

I would remind him to follow appropriate behavior even though the parent isn't there. No jumping on furniture, eating outside of the kitchen, if he makes a mess clean it up, etc.

Jumping in the furniture and making a food mess are not the concerns you should have with u supervised 7th graders. They are into much bigger things.

As someone who HAS had and currently DOES have a seventh grader, it really depends on the child.

[Anonymous]

Your child will be introduced to porn soon thereafter and a host of other things. I wouldn't let my child hangout at anyone's house without an adult there. You'll see what I mean in about 9th grade

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t allow this unless I knew the family really well. The kids can hang out at your house.

[Anonymous]

My ground rule for a kid that age would be no hanging out at anyone's house without a parent present.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let my kid under these circumstances OP. For that age, I there were probably a couple of DCs friends I would have been comfortable leaving home alone for short periods of time. But no as a regular thing. In this case, you might (correctly) think your kid would never dream up a scene that would get them in trouble. But you should also be comfortable that the kid who is hosting also has the maturity and common sense not to put your child in a dangerous or u comfortable situation. And the other parent swell enough to know that they would not leave kids alone in their house unless they were sure it was safe. Letting a strange 7th grader come over when they are not home does not scream good judgment to me.

Defer or invite to your house until you get to know the kid and parent better. Then decide. 7th grade is a wide range of maturity and a wide range of rule follower vs rule breaker. No matter how great your kid is, if the other kid is an immature rule breaker, you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

This is a hard no for me. No hanging out at anyone’s house without an adult present, including ours. Lots of kids that age make horrible decisions, most make the occasional bad decision, and peer pressure is strong.

[Anonymous]

Haven't had to think about this yet, but I think I'd say no if I hadn't met the parents