Jen Hatmaker
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Anonymous
| I’m not a fan and share the concerns about how she puts Remy on blast. But you know, by posting here every time she does this you are in effect, amplifying her garbage. I’m sure there a people who don’t follow her but only click when they read here about the newest cringy thing she’s done…which in turn hurts Remy more. So maybe we stop? |
Anonymous
Or maybe keep going. Because anywhere else that she could possibly accept criticism is immediately shut down. She can't shut this down. And this page is extremely supportive of Remy, unlike Jen's pages, which have followers supporting her heinous treatment of her "roommate." Should Remy go to counseling someday (and Jen seems to be really setting her up for this- she's so mean to her!), I would imagine Remy would appreciate finding a corner of the internet with people who had her back, even when Jen didn't seem to. This is the only place online that I'm aware of that consistently calls Jen out on her bad behavior. |
Anonymous
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This thread has all of Jen’s “receipts”.
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Anonymous
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THOUGHTS FROM ANOTHER ADOPTIVE MOM re Jen & Remy:
I have gone back and forth on whether or not Jen is a narcissist or just has narcissistic traits and I am leaning more towards the full on NPD camp solely because of how she treats Remy and this is why: I also adopted a kid from Ethiopia so I know a ton of other adoptive parents both online and IRL, most great/normal, but a couple awful, so I have a bit of insight into adoptive parenting. 1. It’s obvious that Jen never attached to Remy, which was exacerbated by the possibility that Remy is on the ASD. Therefore she truly does see Remy as just a roommate, not her child. If attachment is not natural then achieving it in an older child is a MAJOR time commitment which probably requires professional help. If the child is struggling to attach, you need to literally rewire their brain. If the parent is struggling to attach, they may need intervention or not (there are lots of resources available) but you have to be 100% committed. For instance, when my kid came home, she was with me 24/7. If not me, then my husband. I would NEVER go out of town for several days. Literally unthinkable. Would you leave your 3 day old baby for a week? Same thing. All adopted kids will have abandonment issues plus coming to an entirely different culture is so confusing and overwhelming and overstimulating. Adoptive parents are even told to avoid loud noises or bright lights (some families who adopt around the holidays forgo Christmas trees - I think that’s a bit much but I appreciate the intention) because their little brains are on such total overload when they get home. You “cocoon”: don’t leave the house for at least a couple of weeks, and no one outside family is allowed in. You’re literally teaching the child what a family IS. Homeschooling is an option and may be a necessity, but regardless, you definitely delay school for days or weeks. In a nutshell, you seek to recreate the womb/newborn days of protection from the outside world as much as humanly possible. It’s very intense but no different than taking maternity leave for a newborn. Do we do that for the mom or for the baby? For the BABY. New babies need their mommies. New adopted kids, whether 2 or 5 or 15 need their mommies too. I know for a fact that Jen did none of this. She traveled for speaking gigs and she had those kids in school, like, immediately. I remember that because I was shocked. Imo she did not attach to Remy, and she has only herself to blame. And she knew she was supposed to do all these things. ANC had lots of families who had adopted who did it right. Plus the adoption agency tells you all this. Our agency required us to go to a 2-day seminar just on attachment because the knowledge is SO vital for successful adoptions. She knew. She could have done it. She blew it off. She chose to ignore the experts. She knew better. 2. There is a problem with some people adopting because my gosh, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told “wow you guys are so amazing” for adopting our kid. It makes me SQUIRM. I hate it! ugh! I’m not amazing, this is just a choice we made on how to grow our family. I just hate the thought of kids in orphanages and this is how we responded. That’s it. But, I remember after we brought her home thinking, after being told how awesome I was for the umpteenth time, that wow, I could *really* let this go to my head. Like, this is exactly how it happens. Or if I had seen other moms get that praise after adopting, I could go “wow if I adopt everyone will tell me what an amazing mom I am! And whoa!! Bonus points for a black kid!!!” Like people who fake cancer for attention, kwim? So so gross. But … it happens. I’ve only seen it very rarely. The adoption process is such a long, expensive, paperwork pain in the ass that it naturally weeds out most of those people. You have to really want a child to stick it out. But I have seen it happen. Just like it happens with narcissistic women who keep having children for attention that pregnancy and babies bring, but on steroids. 3. And to me, this is the clincher: the problem with narcissistic mothers is that once their babies get past the mommy-is-perfect stage and start asserting their own independence and have their own opinions, the narcissistic mother is infuriated. How dare they defy me? How UNGRATEFUL for all my SACRIFICES! Okay - so now imagine the narcissistic mom if the kid is adopted? I can see it so easily- “I spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for you! I went to AFRICA to get you! And this is the thanks I get??” I knew a mom on Facebook who had adopted lots of kids (child hoarding) who also had a rebellious teenage daughter from Ethiopia. Every time she would post one of this poor girl’s acting-out in detail in a Facebook it would make my blood boil. But then the comments she would get - “oh you’re so wonderful! You don’t deserve this!” “You’re an amazing mom! Keep up the good work!” Like, lots of them. Which is why exactly why she did it!! And I think this is exactly why Jen does it too. And I think it’s freaking unforgivable. |
Anonymous
| Joan Crawford was another narcissistic adoptive mom. This is Jen & Remy right here folks: [youtube] https://youtu.be/wWJnVymiOvg[/youtube] |
Anonymous
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This is why the thread won’t die. Thank you to the adopted mom poster! Good info and lots to think about.
Not sure if anyone remembers, but Jen did say (maybe in 7, or the study guide for 7) that adopting was actually Sydney’s idea. And that adopting two children was suggested by someone in their church, maybe? Either way, this checks with a “works based” view of Christianity, which would make a lot of sense as to why/how Jen can discard religion so easily. She “did” all of the right things, and therefore should have been rewarded in life with ease and happiness. But…. That’s not really how it works…. |
Anonymous
Jen's faith was transactional. She said it herself. A faith or belief or devotion is only as good based on how much "fruit" it produces. How she graduated from a Bible college I will never know. |
Anonymous
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Big Sis should go into politics. She'd excel at that phony baloney life of pretense and fakery and constant shape shifting. Plus, she LUUUVES to pose as moral and good and virtuous while really being the exact opposite so hypocrisy is super easy for her already which is high dollar currency in political circles.
Doesn't seem like she's much of a writer or teacher anymore. |
Anonymous
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Re: her friend post
Didn’t her friends do to brandon exactly what she’s cautioning all other friend groups not to do? Drop him, exclude him, etc - jen describes him as being as entrenched in that group as she was/is - where was that group of friends when his life imploded - regardless of if he screwed up or not - do we just drop our friends when they hit rock bottom? |
Anonymous
Most of the replies from her non-friend followers are about “I was dropped from mine” or “You’re surrounded by so much love you’re so lucky!” or “I wish I had friends like this” I’m not sure she posts these type of posts endlessly other than to get supply from them. In this case she’s also appearing to be backhanding Brandon by circling how she’s the one in the middle and they all encircled around her. I also think she knows deep down that people envy or have less of a social network than she does and it’s why she writes with a such a braggy, self-centered tone under the guise of…”Tell me, isn’t your life just as great as mine! Let me know below!” |
Anonymous
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Exactly above. She’s desperate for narc supply and this is a cheap way to get it.
I’m sure Brandon, if he even saw the post, would roll his eyes. “Just Jen being Jen.” Not many women are jealous of Jen. If they are it’s only superficially. |
Anonymous
No one is forcing you to read it - move along 
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Anonymous
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Tons of shilling today.
All the possible expensive travel bags! All the promo codes! Girl needs that money to fund her MeCamp, y’all. |
Anonymous
YES!! 😆 |
Anonymous
| I'd love to know why the friend group chose her instead of Brandon. (Assuming they did--they may well have separate pizza nights and outings with him.) My guess is they felt like he was the bad guy in the breakup (which he was, undoubtedly) but they may be second guessing their choice three years on. Maybe Jen was a lot more tolerable when she was married, maybe she didn't suck up all the oxygen in every room, and maybe if you just hang out and eat pizza, she's super fun. Maybe. But she doesn't seem like someone you'd want to hang around now. |