I don’t want anyone near me
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Anonymous
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5 days postpartum and I want everyone to leave me alone. Birth was difficult, and I feel like I need it to just be me and baby for awhile. I don’t want anyone to touch me and my skin crawls when someone tries to talk to me. I want DH to go away for a week with his friends. I want my mom to stay in the guest bedroom and bring me food when I ask but otherwise GTFA. I don’t want to see any relatives. I don’t want to see any friends. I want to eat, nurse and snuggle my baby and watch TV. I don’t want to entertain. I don’t want to socialize. I love my husband but his very presence right now makes me queasy. I need everyone to leave me alone with my baby.
Is this PPD? What is this? |
Anonymous
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Ha!! One of my best friends described this as that feral feeling of wanting to growl menacingly at everyone and run into the bushes and nurse your child in a loincloth. I about died laughing because that’s EXACTLY what it felt like to me too! There’s got to be some sort of primitive biological undertones to this - a built-in protective mechanism of some sort. With my first, it lasted a lot longer (a couple of weeks for the worst of it, but I remained intensely protective and didn’t want anyone outside of my immediate family to hold DD for months, not that it necessarily played out that way). With my second it was like that for a few days and then subsided. Although frankly the not wanting to be touched thing can last a long time especially if you’re nursing and you’re always, always being pawed at. My oldest would crawl on me, looking for attention while I was feeding the baby and even though she’s the light of my life I had to resist the urge to hurl her off. Don’t get me started on when DH tried to initiate sex. Yikes.
The first couple of weeks are NUTS in terms of hormones. Just ride it out, tell people to give you some space for a bit, and obviously tell someone if you’re feeling out of control, but yup - that feral feeling is pretty standard I’d say  Enjoy your little bear!!
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Anonymous
| OMG my mom had this. I was all mentally ready to have it but it wasn't my experience at all. |
Anonymous
I agree with all of this, OP. It is a primitive reaction and protective. I would simply tell everyone how you are feeling. But cut out a lot of the TV - that makes isolation worse - and can lead to depression. Cuddle and hold your baby and sleep. |
Anonymous
It has only been five days. Give it some more time. Make sure you get up and shower and dress, sleep as much as you can and eat well. Explain to your mother and DH how you are feeling but don't send them away. Don't fall into the trap of too much TV. |
Anonymous
| This was not my PPD experience at all, but YMMV |
Anonymous
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I felt this way with each birth. I thought it was just me. I just wanted space. Occasionally I would want someone else to hold the baby so I could rest.
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Anonymous
| 5 days pp is when I spent hours breaking down and sobbing. I think there’s some sort of hormonal shift that happens around that time. Not necessarily ppd but normal pp struggles. it could mean you’re susceptible to ppd tho. Give yourself time. You’re still intensely in the recovery period and exhausted. |
Anonymous
This was my experience too! My parents were in town and kept wanting to hold the baby... I just wanted them gone! |
Anonymous
| It’s dh’s baby too.... |
Anonymous
| I felt the same. I didn't want visitors or any disruptions to my "nest" for the first few weeks. I was ambivalent to my mom visiting just after delivery and REALLY didn't want my MIL around. I sense my baby picked up on it, because she screamed if she was held by anyone except me. Postpartum hormones are ferocious! |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
I’ll nevet forget sitting on the couch, watching my MIL hold my 3 day old son and I started SOBBING. Like out of the blue. I just cried “I need my baby!” And took him into the bedroom and laid on the bed and held him and sobbed. My poor MIL. LOL. Oh well! |
Anonymous
| NP here, currently pregnant with baby #2 and feeling so grateful that others felt like I did after baby #1. I wanted everyone to just go away and leave me with my baby. Especially the first week. I wanted DH around, but essentially at my whim. My poor mom drove me absolutely nuts. She had traveled to stay with us for the first week. Arrived on day 1 post birth. And by day 3 I wanted her to leave. I had a very emotional (for me) conversation saying she should go home. And DH actually intervened and was like, woah, He couldn’t do everything without her and and told me (in front of her) that I was making a mistake and he wanted her to stay! It was awful. I felt like the worst daughter. My mom took it in stride, and did stay the week, but it wasn’t the bonding and loving experience we likely both hoped for. This time around, we live further away and I’m secretly glad it will take our parents longer to arrive. I think we could use their help, but I also think I’m likely to feel totally overwhelmed by extra people in my space right away. |
jjconcern
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PP blues or depression- Whatever you name them can be so individual. I don't think it is at all unusual to just want time to be alone with baby and experience them for yourself which is important for the father also to have some alone bonding time as well, while new mother sleeps. Especially if you are the personality type who likes your space and alone time. I found that as I got older with our 3rd birth, I was more anxious to share but with the first 2 I was very possessive. Fortunately for me , my mother and MIL were understanding of my possessiveness and didn't complain or hold it against me. As other replies suggested explain your feelings to your family and give yourself some time. If it persists then I would contact your physician rather than letting it go on too long if it is PPD. And use any extra time to sleep so that you are rested up and gaining strength for interrupted sleep that usually comes with a new baby. My best to you!
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