Redshirting August boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay I think we need to explain the basics of private school admissions for DCUM anti-redshirters.

1. You cannot make private school admissions directors do your bidding.
2. You do not need to send your children to private school.
3. Private schools set their own admissions policies. Your repeated temper tantrums cannot change that.
4. Many private schools have a cutoff date, but it is not strict, and admissions directors decide where your kid will land.
5. There is a line out the door for people who want admissions to private school. They do not have to take your kid.
6. You are not entitled to send your child to private school.

Some of you seem to have a very tenuous grip on reality, so maybe these bullet points will help.

Have you wondered how good this private school is if they only take older kids or kids not appropriate for the grade?

Well, given that they regularly place students at top universities and those students go on to excel in life, I think they are probably doing something right.

And, publics and other schools also place students at the top universities as well. So, is it that they are doing it right or they are doing it to make it easier on them? These schools take rich kids whose rich parents can pay their way into these top schools, which also makes a difference.

Your smart kid would have done just fine going on time and still would have done just as well at a public or any other private.

"Would have done" isn't good enough. You can take chances with your own kids but you can't and won't for other parents.

And an anti-redshirter was accused above of being hyper-competitive? So little self-awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti-redshirters: why do you all feel entitled to dictate admissions policies to private schools? I’m honestly blown away by the entitlement you all show on this thread. If I was applying to private school and I didn’t agree with some part of their educational philosophy that was very important to me, I just would not apply to that school. I definitely would not have a temper tantrum about it and demand the school change an approach they clearly think works educationally for their students. I would instead look elsewhere for schools that better matched my educational philosophy. But you all seem to think that you are entitled to demand schools change their long-standing policies to match your particular situation. I simply cannot understand that mindset.

Personally I don't nor would I put my child at a school that wasn't capable of teaching kids at their age/grade level. I'd wonder what was wrong with the school and teaching staff if they only took kids in K that should really be in 1st, especially when you are talking about smart kids from rich educated families who will do well with the proper academics.

Great! Don’t send your kids to those schools and stop whining about schools your kids don’t attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I have an august 31 DD that i will not be red shirting. She will end up in 9th grade with kids a full 18 months older.

I have a late August DD that we did not redshirt and that is now late elementary. She is doing fine socially and is crushing it academically. I don't look forward to having the boys a year older in her grade in HS, and honestly I have a hard time not silently scoffing when I hear their parents bragging about them.

Why are you so bitter that you can’t just be happy for these kids that are doing well? On top of it your daughter is also doing great… why not be happy for all these kids whose parents’ choices allowed them to succeed?
What is wrong with the world?

Dp. Agreed. So much. The anti-red shirters always say that the maturity gap narrows. So apparently two kids who are a year apart of no big deal, but kids 18 months apart is the end of the world.

No, those of us who don't hold our kids back a grade think our kids are smart enough and will do well in either situation and will learn resilience and adversity AND we get them the help they need or give it to them at home. If our kids have delays, we get the therapies and support they need. It's not that our kids are less mature, it's your kids who are too old for the grade, less mature, and forced into a situation that keeps them less mature than their peer group where they get their example from is from younger kids. If your 5 year old is with a 4 year old and you look at the 4-year-old and say, hey my kid is more mature, that means nothing due to the age gap. And, it really means your child needs age appropriate peer models.

You, who hold your kids back are saying its terrible to have a large age gap with your child being the youngest, but then say its ok to have that age gap and have your child as the oldest. The logic makes no sense especially when you've done nothing to help your child.

This is really about gaming the system to make your kids seems smarter or better than they are. Give them a chance rather than assume they can't or are not ready. Give them the support they need to be successful. And, question schools that force kids to stay back a year for the school's needs, not the child's as they aren't putting the child's needs first.

All this boils down to is SOME kids need extra time and SOME don't and the research is on their side. Which is why plenty of parents are in here bragging that their young for grade kid is crushing it. As they should, because every kid is different. That's the part the black and white thinkers refuse to acknowledge. But, if you don't like it, you can take your ball and play somewhere else. Nobody is stopping you, frankly nobody cares what you do. But you seem to care deeply that people make other decisions that have no impact on you whatsoever. I think some perverse posters here just want to see some kids fail because it reduces their overall competition which is pretty gross and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay I think we need to explain the basics of private school admissions for DCUM anti-redshirters.

1. You cannot make private school admissions directors do your bidding.
2. You do not need to send your children to private school.
3. Private schools set their own admissions policies. Your repeated temper tantrums cannot change that.
4. Many private schools have a cutoff date, but it is not strict, and admissions directors decide where your kid will land.
5. There is a line out the door for people who want admissions to private school. They do not have to take your kid.
6. You are not entitled to send your child to private school.

Some of you seem to have a very tenuous grip on reality, so maybe these bullet points will help.

Have you wondered how good this private school is if they only take older kids or kids not appropriate for the grade?

Well, given that they regularly place students at top universities and those students go on to excel in life, I think they are probably doing something right.

And, publics and other schools also place students at the top universities as well. So, is it that they are doing it right or they are doing it to make it easier on them? These schools take rich kids whose rich parents can pay their way into these top schools, which also makes a difference.

Your smart kid would have done just fine going on time and still would have done just as well at a public or any other private.

"Would have done" isn't good enough. You can take chances with your own kids but you can't and won't for other parents.

And an anti-redshirter was accused above of being hyper-competitive? So little self-awareness.

Because nobody wants their kid to fail? You just don't want some kids to live up to their potential. It offends you for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Also, what is redshirting anyway? The country does not even have a universal cut off date for K. If I lived in Missouri, where the cutoff is 8/1, my late September born child would be among the oldest in the grade. If I lived in NY, where the cutoff is 12/31 (at least for public schools), he’d be among the youngest. This becomes a problem with standardized testing and when kids go off to college nearly a year a half younger than some of their classmates.

Therefore I’m “redshirting” my September son even though he can technically start K next year. No reason a kid in the majority of states should have an extra year to develop before undertaking academic expectations. It’s consistent with feedback I’ve received from educational professionals who know him well, as well as the private school we’ve applied to (where 60% of kids with fall bdays ultimately “redshirt”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, what is redshirting anyway? The country does not even have a universal cut off date for K. If I lived in Missouri, where the cutoff is 8/1, my late September born child would be among the oldest in the grade. If I lived in NY, where the cutoff is 12/31 (at least for public schools), he’d be among the youngest. This becomes a problem with standardized testing and when kids go off to college nearly a year a half younger than some of their classmates.

Therefore I’m “redshirting” my September son even though he can technically start K next year. No reason a kid in the majority of states should have an extra year to develop before undertaking academic expectations. It’s consistent with feedback I’ve received from educational professionals who know him well, as well as the private school we’ve applied to (where 60% of kids with fall bdays ultimately “redshirt”)

All kids in Finland are 7 before 1st grade, so my 8 year-old DMV 1st grader is not that old compared to them! Just because kids here are 6, global standards differ, so my kid's age has no impact on classmates here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, what is redshirting anyway? The country does not even have a universal cut off date for K. If I lived in Missouri, where the cutoff is 8/1, my late September born child would be among the oldest in the grade. If I lived in NY, where the cutoff is 12/31 (at least for public schools), he’d be among the youngest. This becomes a problem with standardized testing and when kids go off to college nearly a year a half younger than some of their classmates.

Therefore I’m “redshirting” my September son even though he can technically start K next year. No reason a kid in the majority of states should have an extra year to develop before undertaking academic expectations. It’s consistent with feedback I’ve received from educational professionals who know him well, as well as the private school we’ve applied to (where 60% of kids with fall bdays ultimately “redshirt”)

All kids in Finland are 7 before 1st grade, so my 8 year-old DMV 1st grader is not that old compared to them! Just because kids here are 6, global standards differ, so my kid's age has no impact on classmates here.

Your child is not being compared at standardized levels to kids in Finland. And btw, the fact that all kids are 7 before entering first grade in progressive countries does not help your argument

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, what is redshirting anyway? The country does not even have a universal cut off date for K. If I lived in Missouri, where the cutoff is 8/1, my late September born child would be among the oldest in the grade. If I lived in NY, where the cutoff is 12/31 (at least for public schools), he’d be among the youngest. This becomes a problem with standardized testing and when kids go off to college nearly a year a half younger than some of their classmates.

Therefore I’m “redshirting” my September son even though he can technically start K next year. No reason a kid in the majority of states should have an extra year to develop before undertaking academic expectations. It’s consistent with feedback I’ve received from educational professionals who know him well, as well as the private school we’ve applied to (where 60% of kids with fall bdays ultimately “redshirt”)

All kids in Finland are 7 before 1st grade, so my 8 year-old DMV 1st grader is not that old compared to them! Just because kids here are 6, global standards differ, so my kid's age has no impact on classmates here.

Your child is not being compared at standardized levels to kids in Finland. And btw, the fact that all kids are 7 before entering first grade in progressive countries does not help your argument

I think PP was trying to be funny. Apart from extremely rare cases, there are no 8 year olds starting 1st grade (or turning 8 before May-June). It does not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I have an august 31 DD that i will not be red shirting. She will end up in 9th grade with kids a full 18 months older.

I have a late August DD that we did not redshirt and that is now late elementary. She is doing fine socially and is crushing it academically. I don't look forward to having the boys a year older in her grade in HS, and honestly I have a hard time not silently scoffing when I hear their parents bragging about them.

Why are you so bitter that you can’t just be happy for these kids that are doing well? On top of it your daughter is also doing great… why not be happy for all these kids whose parents’ choices allowed them to succeed?
What is wrong with the world?

Dp. Agreed. So much. The anti-red shirters always say that the maturity gap narrows. So apparently two kids who are a year apart of no big deal, but kids 18 months apart is the end of the world.

No, those of us who don't hold our kids back a grade think our kids are smart enough and will do well in either situation and will learn resilience and adversity AND we get them the help they need or give it to them at home. If our kids have delays, we get the therapies and support they need. It's not that our kids are less mature, it's your kids who are too old for the grade, less mature, and forced into a situation that keeps them less mature than their peer group where they get their example from is from younger kids. If your 5 year old is with a 4 year old and you look at the 4-year-old and say, hey my kid is more mature, that means nothing due to the age gap. And, it really means your child needs age appropriate peer models.

You, who hold your kids back are saying its terrible to have a large age gap with your child being the youngest, but then say its ok to have that age gap and have your child as the oldest. The logic makes no sense especially when you've done nothing to help your child.

This is really about gaming the system to make your kids seems smarter or better than they are. Give them a chance rather than assume they can't or are not ready. Give them the support they need to be successful. And, question schools that force kids to stay back a year for the school's needs, not the child's as they aren't putting the child's needs first.

You’re the one fixated on comparing kids and age gaps.

It’s about what’s best for an individual, NOT comparing to others. Almost all kids would benefit from another year of age-appropriate learning. AKA not K in the US at age 4-5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay I think we need to explain the basics of private school admissions for DCUM anti-redshirters.

1. You cannot make private school admissions directors do your bidding.
2. You do not need to send your children to private school.
3. Private schools set their own admissions policies. Your repeated temper tantrums cannot change that.
4. Many private schools have a cutoff date, but it is not strict, and admissions directors decide where your kid will land.
5. There is a line out the door for people who want admissions to private school. They do not have to take your kid.
6. You are not entitled to send your child to private school.

Some of you seem to have a very tenuous grip on reality, so maybe these bullet points will help.

Have you wondered how good this private school is if they only take older kids or kids not appropriate for the grade?

The grade isn’t appropriate for the age.

4-5 year olds should be in a play environment to learn. Not typical US kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I have an august 31 DD that i will not be red shirting. She will end up in 9th grade with kids a full 18 months older.

So don’t go to private schools where they redshirt. Problem solved. Such ridiculous whining.

My DD was born on Aug 26th and we redshirted her. The oldest kids are born in July so maybe 13-14 months older than your DD… not 18. Stop with the drama (or change school/redshirt, etc.)

You people make no sense. If a 14+ age gap is no big deal, then why is it a problem to have your child in his right-age class? Because he's not yet "ready"? But isn't it okay if he is a year less "ready" since that gap is negligible?

People don’t redshirt because of the age gap. It’s not the comparative thing that you are fixated on.

It’s about the best environment for that kid at that point. Which for almost all 4-5 year old kids, play-based preschool is best. Many parents can’t afford that extra year so they push their kids into age-inappropriate Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

Sounds like the anti-redshirting troll doesn’t even have kids. So clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I have an august 31 DD that i will not be red shirting. She will end up in 9th grade with kids a full 18 months older.

I have a late August DD that we did not redshirt and that is now late elementary. She is doing fine socially and is crushing it academically. I don't look forward to having the boys a year older in her grade in HS, and honestly I have a hard time not silently scoffing when I hear their parents bragging about them.

Why are you so bitter that you can’t just be happy for these kids that are doing well? On top of it your daughter is also doing great… why not be happy for all these kids whose parents’ choices allowed them to succeed?
What is wrong with the world?

Dp. Agreed. So much. The anti-red shirters always say that the maturity gap narrows. So apparently two kids who are a year apart of no big deal, but kids 18 months apart is the end of the world.

No, those of us who don't hold our kids back a grade think our kids are smart enough and will do well in either situation and will learn resilience and adversity AND we get them the help they need or give it to them at home. If our kids have delays, we get the therapies and support they need. It's not that our kids are less mature, it's your kids who are too old for the grade, less mature, and forced into a situation that keeps them less mature than their peer group where they get their example from is from younger kids. If your 5 year old is with a 4 year old and you look at the 4-year-old and say, hey my kid is more mature, that means nothing due to the age gap. And, it really means your child needs age appropriate peer models.

You, who hold your kids back are saying its terrible to have a large age gap with your child being the youngest, but then say its ok to have that age gap and have your child as the oldest. The logic makes no sense especially when you've done nothing to help your child.

This is really about gaming the system to make your kids seems smarter or better than they are. Give them a chance rather than assume they can't or are not ready. Give them the support they need to be successful. And, question schools that force kids to stay back a year for the school's needs, not the child's as they aren't putting the child's needs first.

You’re the one fixated on comparing kids and age gaps.

It’s about what’s best for an individual, NOT comparing to others. Almost all kids would benefit from another year of age-appropriate learning. AKA not K in the US at age 4-5.

How would they benefit? That logic makes no sense as that is what K is for. K is for learning. Maybe you are the problem that you failed to prepare your child and the preschool you picked was an issue to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

Sounds like the anti-redshirting troll doesn’t even have kids. So clueless.

Sounds like the person holding their kids back doesn't have a clue about child development. K is meant for 5 year olds, not 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would my redshirting affect anyone else's kid? It is a decision made by me about what is in the best interests of my child. Everyone is entitled to do the same.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

Because the expectations change on what is expected of kids at specific grades. How do you not get that.

Is it really best for your child that you basically change their age by a year?

How do you not get my position - which is based on your same concerns? So to allay your concerns, my child with an August 15th birthday should go into first grade as a just-turned 6 yo with someone’s child that will turn 7 on October 1st? And I am horrible to redshirt and have my DC wait a year so the two will be more evenly matched physically, emotionally and academically? I’m not talking about redshirting a child born in April - literally redshirting a child born 6 weeks before cutoff.

But where does it end? The child with the July birthday now has to go with your child who will be a year older than them. If the July child redshirts, now the June birthday will be the youngest. The only thing I have issue with is that it becomes an endless competition to not have the youngest child in the class.

Ask the private school where your child is applying where it ends. They will have a crisp answer that aligns with their admissions policies.

Goodness. It is absolutely remarkable how many people in this thread do not have a basic grasp of private school admissions and how they work.

It ends because not all children would benefit from being 1 year older. There are plenty of kids that for whatever reason are ready to go to school and be the youngest. Maybe because they have older siblings, maybe because they matured earlier, maybe because they are only children, maybe because they are girls… it does not matter why. Just how there are many reasons why some kids are not ready and would benefit from waiting 1 year, there are just as many kids who would be bored and would not gain anything from waiting 1 year.

That’s what is so great about giving parents the ability to choose. We know our kids best and we know what would benefit them the most. I redshirted my eldest DD form 6 days before cut off because she was immature, insecure and socially behind. I did not redshirt my second daughter because she was advanced in many ways, confident, independent and used to be around older kids.

Or maybe you had unrealistic ideas of what a five year old should look like. No five year old should be mature.

Sounds like the anti-redshirting troll doesn’t even have kids. So clueless.

Sounds like the person holding their kids back doesn't have a clue about child development. K is meant for 5 year olds, not 6.

Tell that to the approximately 43 states that require a child to be 6 before 9/1 before entering K.