14 year old dating 20 year old

[Anonymous]

My DD is a freshman and is friends with a senior guy at school who is 20. DD says she talks to him at lunch and during study period. DD says she is dating him. I tell her no but she tells me this is happening in school and I can't control it. I told her once he graduates you won't be allowed to talk to him and she says she will wait till 18 to talk to him and I asked how and she said on the school computers. They talk electronically but I read the messages and I'm pretty sure she talks about all the sexual stuff with him at school during lunch because she doesn't want me reading it. The school does nothing about it. This young man says he loves her, wants to take her to prom and asked to come over. I asked why and he says to hang out. My impression is that he's sleazy. I spoke to his mom and she said he started school late then was held back again due to medical issues. 1. What the heck is a 20 year old doing in high school? 2. Why is he dating a freshman? Date a girl your own age. The school does block sites but kids get around parental controls so if he graduates she still talk to him and she can also talk to him via her friends.

[Anonymous]

I would report this to the administration and possibly cops.

It is illegal for a 20 year old man to date a 14 year old child. The school is e cabling statutory rape.

Why the eff is a 20 year old man allowed in a traditional public high school? He should be moved to an alternative school.

[Anonymous]

THis is why I redshirted my daughter.
Call the cops. It’s illegal.

[Anonymous]

A 20 year old senior??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 20 year old senior??

If they are an illegal immigrant or unaccompanied minors I believe they can stay in traditional high school until either 21 or 22, usually in 9th grade classes because they are behind.

Special needs kids can also stay longer.

Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 20 year old senior??

If they are an illegal immigrant or unaccompanied minors I believe they can stay in traditional high school until either 21 or 22, usually in 9th grade classes because they are behind.

Special needs kids can also stay longer.

Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

Held back one year + early birthday (January) would put this guy at 20 unless he's 20 going on 21 in which he would be even older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 20 year old senior??

If they are an illegal immigrant or unaccompanied minors I believe they can stay in traditional high school until either 21 or 22, usually in 9th grade classes because they are behind.

Special needs kids can also stay longer.

Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

Held back one year + early birthday (January) would put this guy at 20 unless he's 20 going on 21 in which he would be even older.

No.

Most people start senior year at age 17.

If he were held back one year (starting 12th grade as an 18 year old) and had an early birthday, the oldest he could be is 19.

He is at least 2 if not 3 years behind. At 20 he should be a college sophomore or junio4, or just finished with trade school or community college NOT a high school student dating a 14 year old child.he met at school.

I would raise hell with the school.

[Anonymous]

Thank you daca

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

OP here. He is not an immigrant, neither are his parents I'm assuming.

[Anonymous]

What medical issues does he have?
Yes, this is outrageous.
Other issues with your daughter's disobedience?

[Anonymous]

I agree this is terrible but what can the school do? Kick him out because you don’t want them dating? And it’s only illegal if they have sex.

Ultimately you need to control your child. You seem to want others to do that for you. Take her phone, take a day off of work and go with her to every class and follow her around during free periods. Do it day after day until she’s embarrassed and stops talking to him. Pop up occasionally to make sure it’s through.

Or threaten him and tell him you’ll report him to the police and have him arrested for statutory rape. You may be able to convince him that it’s illegal even without sex.

[Anonymous]

Transfer her to Catholic or private school. Ship her a$s off to grandma's or another family member's home. Do what you have to do to physically separate them.

[Anonymous]

If he were held back one year (starting 12th grade as an 18 year old) and had an early birthday, the oldest he could be is 19.

The mom already explained this. He started late and was held back a year. If his birthday occurred early in the school year, that makes him 20, not 19. Given that he started late and has medical problems, I'm sure he qualifies to stay in school late.

It is illegal for a 20 year old man to date a 14 year old child. The school is e cabling statutory rape.

Dating/being friends with someone older is not statutory rape.

OP, I don't know what you do except keep them apart after school hours. Once he graduates, given that you have communication with his family, I would be sure that you talk to them about your concerns, particularly if you believe they will have the opportunity to develop a physical relationship. I know as a mom of boys, I worried when they hit age 18 if they are dating a younger girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If he were held back one year (starting 12th grade as an 18 year old) and had an early birthday, the oldest he could be is 19.

The mom already explained this. He started late and was held back a year. If his birthday occurred early in the school year, that makes him 20, not 19. Given that he started late and has medical problems, I'm sure he qualifies to stay in school late.

It is illegal for a 20 year old man to date a 14 year old child. The school is e cabling statutory rape.

Dating/being friends with someone older is not statutory rape.

OP, I don't know what you do except keep them apart after school hours. Once he graduates, given that you have communication with his family, I would be sure that you talk to them about your concerns, particularly if you believe they will have the opportunity to develop a physical relationship. I know as a mom of boys, I worried when they hit age 18 if they are dating a younger girl.

Assuming dating involves sexual contact if some sort, even if not sex itself, wouldn't that be statutory rape? I don't think sex itself is required. (The jurisdiction is also relevant as permitted ages vary, but I don't think any around here have age of consent at 14 and I would think 6 years would be beyond the permitted age gap.)

I agree with you on age, however. Plenty of HS kids who went on time are 18 by this time of year.

[Anonymous]

It's illegal in Maryland. They have to be within four years of one another in age. Don't know about other places.

Does he have special needs? I wonder if he's not very emotionally mature.

I'd definitely talk to the school. I don't usually get weirded out by high school dating things, but this age gap is too big. If I thought it would help, I'd tell her she can date him at 16.