For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

My husband had joint custody and his ex refused to allow the visits. He flew out there, he bought plane tickets for the kids per the order and she refused both. He'd go to court and the court would reorder visits, on a few occasions make up visits and she'd refuse those visits or even to let him see the kids while he was out there for court. He'd call the police and they'd say go back to court. The court would say, you need to follow the order. She'd agree, then not allow it, repeat.

What did the cops say?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.



In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

The children are not to blame for the mom cheating. The mom is not to blame for dad being too lazy or unwilling to get 50/50 custody. It is illegal to leave the house let alone the state let alone the country. A man who does not have 50/50 custody did not care enough to get it, even if he is deployed. There are laws to protect deployed soldiers. You can't just up and leave while someone is deployed.

In what dream world are you living in. Many dad's try but every state and every judge does things differently and often it's not 50-50. Many dad's want their kids and want to parent. Many dad, especially enlisted military cannot afford expensive drawn out attorney battles. If a mom doesn't want the dad to see the kids, there are few things a judge will do except in a rare situation. And, at some point, it's not healthy for the dad to continue to fight as mom will take it out on the kids.

Kids cannot complain if they or the mom choose not to have dad in their life. If mom's just want the child support and refuse visitation, sometimes that's the best dad can do. That doesn't make him a bad father. After so many court hearings and exhausting every dime you have, what then? Mom's get free support for child support but there is no free support or an office to go to and if Mom moved the kids out of the state, Dad then has to fly out for every court hearing and even to file which is expensive.

I live in reality, where moms find the money and make any and every sacrifice they need to have their kids in their life. You live on the Isle of Evil Stepmom, where kids are to blame for dads giving up easily.

You are nuts. My DH ex didn't allow kids to come to US. He flew despite how expensive it.
You are so deluded.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

My husband had joint custody and his ex refused to allow the visits. He flew out there, he bought plane tickets for the kids per the order and she refused both. He'd go to court and the court would reorder visits, on a few occasions make up visits and she'd refuse those visits or even to let him see the kids while he was out there for court. He'd call the police and they'd say go back to court. The court would say, you need to follow the order. She'd agree, then not allow it, repeat.

What did the cops say?

They’d say there was nothing they could do and file in court.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

I’d leave the country to stay with my kid. I’d ask for a discharge from the military. I would do anything. Whatever it took. It’s your CHILD. Wouldn’t you?

You truly are dumb and what would he support them with?
Her benefit check. He's not a resident of the country.
Also the mother didn't want to stay married
She wanted the cash. Hit the roof when the child support ended

I asked you a simple question that you clearly are scared to answer.

If someone took your child away from you, what would you do. I’m not talking about staying married. I’m asking what you would do if someone absconded with your child to another country.

I think you’re a good mother. I think you’d do whatever it took. Give up your job, move out of the US, whatever you had to do. Because you love your kids.

Even if you give up your job and follow the other parent, they still may not let you see the kids and how will you pay child support let alone your own basic necessities without a job. And, with military you cannot exactly walk away from your job.

So he sought a discharge? He tried to immigrate to her country? He tried to get a job there?

My husbands ex moved cross country. No he’s would not get a discharge and how would he finally pay child support and alimony and then who would have supported her the last 25+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

The children are not to blame for the mom cheating. The mom is not to blame for dad being too lazy or unwilling to get 50/50 custody. It is illegal to leave the house let alone the state let alone the country. A man who does not have 50/50 custody did not care enough to get it, even if he is deployed. There are laws to protect deployed soldiers. You can't just up and leave while someone is deployed.

In what dream world are you living in. Many dad's try but every state and every judge does things differently and often it's not 50-50. Many dad's want their kids and want to parent. Many dad, especially enlisted military cannot afford expensive drawn out attorney battles. If a mom doesn't want the dad to see the kids, there are few things a judge will do except in a rare situation. And, at some point, it's not healthy for the dad to continue to fight as mom will take it out on the kids.

Kids cannot complain if they or the mom choose not to have dad in their life. If mom's just want the child support and refuse visitation, sometimes that's the best dad can do. That doesn't make him a bad father. After so many court hearings and exhausting every dime you have, what then? Mom's get free support for child support but there is no free support or an office to go to and if Mom moved the kids out of the state, Dad then has to fly out for every court hearing and even to file which is expensive.

I live in reality, where moms find the money and make any and every sacrifice they need to have their kids in their life. You live on the Isle of Evil Stepmom, where kids are to blame for dads giving up easily.

Moms find the money from the dads but in our situation mom did not spend it on the kids and they regularly went without. We’d send clothing and shoes and the kids would claim they never got them. You live in a fantasy world if you think all moms put their kids first. If they did, they would not cheat, I’ve cross country with their AP, refuse dad contact and expect dad to support them for the rest of their lives despite being divorced at 30.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

My husband had joint custody and his ex refused to allow the visits. He flew out there, he bought plane tickets for the kids per the order and she refused both. He'd go to court and the court would reorder visits, on a few occasions make up visits and she'd refuse those visits or even to let him see the kids while he was out there for court. He'd call the police and they'd say go back to court. The court would say, you need to follow the order. She'd agree, then not allow it, repeat.

What did the cops say?

They’d say there was nothing they could do and file in court.

No they didn’t. If your H had a court order in his hand the cops are required to honor it. Cops do this all the time and it’s called a “domestic stand by”. Cops stand by during custody exchanges all the time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

I’d leave the country to stay with my kid. I’d ask for a discharge from the military. I would do anything. Whatever it took. It’s your CHILD. Wouldn’t you?

You truly are dumb and what would he support them with?
Her benefit check. He's not a resident of the country.
Also the mother didn't want to stay married
She wanted the cash. Hit the roof when the child support ended

I asked you a simple question that you clearly are scared to answer.

If someone took your child away from you, what would you do. I’m not talking about staying married. I’m asking what you would do if someone absconded with your child to another country.

I think you’re a good mother. I think you’d do whatever it took. Give up your job, move out of the US, whatever you had to do. Because you love your kids.

Even if you give up your job and follow the other parent, they still may not let you see the kids and how will you pay child support let alone your own basic necessities without a job. And, with military you cannot exactly walk away from your job.

So he sought a discharge? He tried to immigrate to her country? He tried to get a job there?

My husbands ex moved cross country. No he’s would not get a discharge and how would he finally pay child support and alimony and then who would have supported her the last 25+ years.

He could have filed a report for parental kidnapping report, but he didn’t because he didn’t want custody. Most men don’t they just want visits every other weekend and Wednesdays.

Alimony is adjusted if someone is out of work

Nobody who is married 2 years pays 25 years of alimony. Nobody pays 25 years of child support.

Your either making Iona story or your H fed you a bunch of lies.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

The children are not to blame for the mom cheating. The mom is not to blame for dad being too lazy or unwilling to get 50/50 custody. It is illegal to leave the house let alone the state let alone the country. A man who does not have 50/50 custody did not care enough to get it, even if he is deployed. There are laws to protect deployed soldiers. You can't just up and leave while someone is deployed.

In what dream world are you living in. Many dad's try but every state and every judge does things differently and often it's not 50-50. Many dad's want their kids and want to parent. Many dad, especially enlisted military cannot afford expensive drawn out attorney battles. If a mom doesn't want the dad to see the kids, there are few things a judge will do except in a rare situation. And, at some point, it's not healthy for the dad to continue to fight as mom will take it out on the kids.

Kids cannot complain if they or the mom choose not to have dad in their life. If mom's just want the child support and refuse visitation, sometimes that's the best dad can do. That doesn't make him a bad father. After so many court hearings and exhausting every dime you have, what then? Mom's get free support for child support but there is no free support or an office to go to and if Mom moved the kids out of the state, Dad then has to fly out for every court hearing and even to file which is expensive.

I live in reality, where moms find the money and make any and every sacrifice they need to have their kids in their life. You live on the Isle of Evil Stepmom, where kids are to blame for dads giving up easily.

Moms find the money from the dads but in our situation mom did not spend it on the kids and they regularly went without. We’d send clothing and shoes and the kids would claim they never got them. You live in a fantasy world if you think all moms put their kids first. If they did, they would not cheat, I’ve cross country with their AP, refuse dad contact and expect dad to support them for the rest of their lives despite being divorced at 30.

The only fantasy is the one your husband fed you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No you aren't a women with Daddy issues, you are a women with issues with women. You come into the relationship competing with the grown children of the man you married. You resent Daddy spending money and time on his existing kids, you have zero idea how to relate to them and spend zero time trying to get to know them and develop a relationship with them. Then you start popping out new babies to replace those kids and icing them out of Daddy's life. YOU are the problem.

Moron...problem is you couldn't accept daddy moved on. Had new kids because he wanted them

MORON no 40-50 year man with almost gown children wants babies. and you shouldn't be such a C$NT to his existing children.

My husband is 46 and wanted more kids because crazy ex alienated him from first.
Guess what he still wants more. You know why because in his words he finally got to be a dad and not a check book.
He's happy to finally get to have a real relationship with children who aren't vindictive sh*ts.
As for the kids they will be treated how they treat us.

You are blaming children for your H's failure to parent his own children.

No real father can lose all relationship with their kids if they have 50/50 custody. Most men just don't want their kids 50% of the time and then are a-holes when they have no relationship.

Did he have 50/50 custody?

No because she moved out of the country.

So

So she had another baby with another man and moved.
Maybe she shouldn't have had another baby and moved and ruined Dad's chance of having a relationship.

So. Is that his excuse for not having custody? If so that’s a lame excuse.

How could he have 50 50 if the mom took the kid so she could be with her new man.
Are you thick?

You go to court and you ask for custody. It’s also illegal to just up and move the kids across state lines so it’s clear he just let them go to another country.

The reality is your H didn’t care enough to fight for custody because no judge in the world would agree to her moving to another county.

It's not illegal and even if it was, no court will care. Yes, he fought for custody and visitation but if the mother will not cooperate there is almost no accountability. He went to court many times. The only thing the courts care about is if child supports it paid. When she accused him of not paying, there was a court hearing within weeks but when he filed contempt for visitation, it took months to get a hearing. You clearly don't seem to know how it works.

Once kids are moved, the court says its too disruptive to move them again and too bad.

Wow! You have been sold a whole bunch of lies. HE IS LYING TO YOU.

A judge will never allow kids to move away from their father.

Your husband DID NOT WANT CUSTODY. Get that into your thick skull.

This. Everyone knows dads get all the custody they do the bare minimum to secure. Everyone except second wives of course.

No, that's not true. Laws are slowly changing but most states put a priority over child support then Dad's rights and the discussion is about kids 20+. Courts were different back then.

Are you really this clueless?

My dad easily got 50/50 custody in the late 80s. You want us to believe in "biased courts" in 2003? You're deluded.

Of course she does cause the other option is that her husband didn’t want his own children. She needs to believe this fantasy to justify being with such a horrible person.

Does that make you feel better? Is that how you justified it your kids? When you denied them a relationship with their father so you could collect your child support check

Okay. Let’s say your spouse lost his mind and fled with your kids. He took them out of state or out of country or whatever it is you understand his ex to have done. What would you do? What if you talked to 5 lawyers who told you to just accept you’ll never see your kids again? You’d just accept it? I doubt it. It’s the rare mom who would. You’d probably move heaven and earth to make sure you were as close to your kids as possible as much as possible, right?

Again if you are military and at war tell him which judge would grant you custody ? Especially if the mom is foreign and jurisdiction for child related issues falls there

If they were your kids. What would you do. How hard would you fight.

Once a foreign judge grants custody nothing you can do twit

Actually there is a lot you can do, but you are bound and determined to believe the lies your DH has told you, so it doesn’t matter.

Fool I have read the court report. Also you are clearly clueless about the military so stay in your sad little lane

I suggest you reach out to militray groups who can fill you in. Many poor soldiers trapped because greedy women think they can pop babies and get their pensions and alimony. Take kids etc grow up

I suggest you talk to a lawyer, who will tell you about all the laws put in place specifically for the military, so that their children are not taken from them even when they are deployed.

Already did fool and this went in front of the judge. Judge granted mother full custody because dad was deployed to Iraq and then Afghanistan.

Which is it, you went to court of you read the documents later. Your story is changing.

He went to court. I didn't know him then. He had kid at 26 divorced at 28. I met him when he was 42. Does that help you fool.

Yes. Make total sense that a 28 year old man did not feel equipped to care for a 2 year old and did not fight for 50/50 custody. Happens all the time.

He asked for joint custody and asked the woman to stay in the US. She refused and didn't want to stay in the US. Perhaps them don't have babies with soldiers. Oh but wait alimony and pension too good to pass.

I’d leave the country to stay with my kid. I’d ask for a discharge from the military. I would do anything. Whatever it took. It’s your CHILD. Wouldn’t you?

You truly are dumb and what would he support them with?
Her benefit check. He's not a resident of the country.
Also the mother didn't want to stay married
She wanted the cash. Hit the roof when the child support ended

I asked you a simple question that you clearly are scared to answer.

If someone took your child away from you, what would you do. I’m not talking about staying married. I’m asking what you would do if someone absconded with your child to another country.

I think you’re a good mother. I think you’d do whatever it took. Give up your job, move out of the US, whatever you had to do. Because you love your kids.

Even if you give up your job and follow the other parent, they still may not let you see the kids and how will you pay child support let alone your own basic necessities without a job. And, with military you cannot exactly walk away from your job.

So he sought a discharge? He tried to immigrate to her country? He tried to get a job there?

My husbands ex moved cross country. No he’s would not get a discharge and how would he finally pay child support and alimony and then who would have supported her the last 25+ years.

And that’s what you would have done, in the same situation, as a mother? Is that right?

If so you’re an absolutely garbage person and mother. But I think you wouldn’t. And I think you know that. But you aren’t willing to let those dots connect, that it’s your husband that is a garbage person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

The children are not to blame for the mom cheating. The mom is not to blame for dad being too lazy or unwilling to get 50/50 custody. It is illegal to leave the house let alone the state let alone the country. A man who does not have 50/50 custody did not care enough to get it, even if he is deployed. There are laws to protect deployed soldiers. You can't just up and leave while someone is deployed.

In what dream world are you living in. Many dad's try but every state and every judge does things differently and often it's not 50-50. Many dad's want their kids and want to parent. Many dad, especially enlisted military cannot afford expensive drawn out attorney battles. If a mom doesn't want the dad to see the kids, there are few things a judge will do except in a rare situation. And, at some point, it's not healthy for the dad to continue to fight as mom will take it out on the kids.

Kids cannot complain if they or the mom choose not to have dad in their life. If mom's just want the child support and refuse visitation, sometimes that's the best dad can do. That doesn't make him a bad father. After so many court hearings and exhausting every dime you have, what then? Mom's get free support for child support but there is no free support or an office to go to and if Mom moved the kids out of the state, Dad then has to fly out for every court hearing and even to file which is expensive.

I live in reality, where moms find the money and make any and every sacrifice they need to have their kids in their life. You live on the Isle of Evil Stepmom, where kids are to blame for dads giving up easily.

Moms find the money from the dads but in our situation mom did not spend it on the kids and they regularly went without. We’d send clothing and shoes and the kids would claim they never got them. You live in a fantasy world if you think all moms put their kids first. If they did, they would not cheat, I’ve cross country with their AP, refuse dad contact and expect dad to support them for the rest of their lives despite being divorced at 30.

I didn’t say they put their kids first. I said they don’t abandon them. Sure there are some rare edge cases, but almost always, mothers do whatever it takes to be with their children, and many men abandon them with no trace of a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

You missed the point again.
This is about an adult child wanting a solid and mutual relationship with her father. Her mother is dead. She is grappling with her feelings. That’s human for a person with some compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

You missed the point again.
This is about an adult child wanting a solid and mutual relationship with her father. Her mother is dead. She is grappling with her feelings. That’s human for a person with some compassion.

She just does not get that it is her H’s responsibility to create a relatively with his children. No matter what the ex-W did a good father would move mountains to get custody, have time, create a relationship.

It’s never too late, if he really cared he would reach out now and get the family counseling needed to fix the damage he did when they were children.

But again, that would take time and money from her family so she won’t support it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

You missed the point again.
This is about an adult child wanting a solid and mutual relationship with her father. Her mother is dead. She is grappling with her feelings. That’s human for a person with some compassion.

She just does not get that it is her H’s responsibility to create a relatively with his children. No matter what the ex-W did a good father would move mountains to get custody, have time, create a relationship.

It’s never too late, if he really cared he would reach out now and get the family counseling needed to fix the damage he did when they were children.

But again, that would take time and money from her family so she won’t

You get your kids the conselling they need.
As you were responsible for taking them away from their dads.
Give them inheritance.
Your kids had their turn.
All second wives here sending you love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife. What about when the mom cheats and is to blame? She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.

You missed the point again.
This is about an adult child wanting a solid and mutual relationship with her father. Her mother is dead. She is grappling with her feelings. That’s human for a person with some compassion.

She just does not get that it is her H’s responsibility to create a relatively with his children. No matter what the ex-W did a good father would move mountains to get custody, have time, create a relationship.

It’s never too late, if he really cared he would reach out now and get the family counseling needed to fix the damage he did when they were children.

But again, that would take time and money from her family so she won’t

You get your kids the conselling they need.
As you were responsible for taking them away from their dads.
Give them inheritance.
Your kids had their turn.
All second wives here sending you love

Why would an ex-wife pay for her ex-h to get counseling and trips/visits with his children .

You married a deadbeat don’t expect his ex to fix it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, why not be happy for them. How is it affecting you?

This happened to me, and it was upsetting to me as well.

It's because I think I had to mourn the loss of what I thought my relationship with my Dad would be. And what his relationship with his grandchildren would be.

It took me a while to figure that the 20-30 years I envisioned I had with him would look totally different, and honestly, not what was I was hoping for.

You eventually come to terms with it, buts its ok to mourn/grieve for the loss of the relationship you thought you would have