The Downside of Being Labeled Gifted

[Anonymous]

This is a great short article with a 5-min video of students from Stanford and from a 4th grade class.
Some of the comments by the Stanford students made me a little sad when thinking about all this focus on getting into an AAP center. I’m sure this video could have been made with kids from TJ.

https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2017/11/13/students-share-the-downside-of-being-labeled-gifted/

[Anonymous]

I enjoyed watching that and can very much relate. I think the gifted label took my already rigid child and made him more rigid. Middle school was a struggle because he was always told he was smart, and then classes got hard, and he had to work hard, but did not know how to study and work hard. Finally, in high school, he knows he has to work to be smart. It is not all about inherent giftedness.

I sure hope my younger one, just starting AAP now, learns faster that you have to work hard to learn.

[Anonymous]

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enjoyed watching that and can very much relate. I think the gifted label took my already rigid child and made him more rigid. Middle school was a struggle because he was always told he was smart, and then classes got hard, and he had to work hard, but did not know how to study and work hard. Finally, in high school, he knows he has to work to be smart. It is not all about inherent giftedness.

I sure hope my younger one, just starting AAP now, learns faster that you have to work hard to learn.

Who told your older child he is gifted? Why would you tell your kid that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I enjoyed watching that and can very much relate. I think the gifted label took my already rigid child and made him more rigid. Middle school was a struggle because he was always told he was smart, and then classes got hard, and he had to work hard, but did not know how to study and work hard. Finally, in high school, he knows he has to work to be smart. It is not all about inherent giftedness.

I sure hope my younger one, just starting AAP now, learns faster that you have to work hard to learn.

Who told your older child he is gifted? Why would you tell your kid that?

Whether you say the word “gifted” or not, being placed in AAP sets your kid apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

Oh, brother

[Anonymous]

All of you know that you 'spread the word' far and wife that your kid was gifted because it gave you bragging rights.
That is not a good thing, no. I assume that the parents of these kids and some of you must not have been high achievers with advanced degrees yourselves because if so you would realize what a sh$t show of a struggle getting any kind of advanced degree is for anyone.
The kids that were told they were 'gifted' and 'special' as kids used to literally leave the programs when things got tough. They would leave and apply to some other program where they were less uncomfortable and praised more - which was never going to happen. It's good that some of you are thinking about being better parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you know that you 'spread the word' far and wide that your kid was gifted because it gave you bragging rights.
That is not a good thing, no. I assume that the parents of these kids and some of you must not have been high achievers with advanced degrees yourselves because if so you would realize what a sh$t show of a struggle getting any kind of advanced degree is for anyone.
The kids that were told they were 'gifted' and 'special' as kids used to literally leave the programs when things got tough. They would leave and apply to some other program where they were less uncomfortable and praised more - which was never going to happen. It's good that some of you are thinking about being better parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

Oh, brother

??? Why the eye roll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

Oh, brother

??? Why the eye roll?

Because the term “twice exceptional” is so cringeworthy? That’s my guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

Oh, brother

??? Why the eye roll?

Because the term “twice exceptional” is so cringeworthy? That’s my guess.

DP. But why? It s very much a real thing. Now, I think the term is a bit much— I wish they had come up with something different. But the phemonema is real. I have 2 2e kids (ADHD). And both did better once they started AAP, but still really struggled. Panic attacks, getting overwhelmed, doing the the work and not getting it turned in. They felt like something was wrong. Getting the ADHD diagnosis, starting medication, getting a 504, stating tutoring for EF skills— these made such a huge difference. My kids now understand how their brains work, and have developed ways to compensate. And yes, are really glad for a label that explains why they are working differently than everyone else. Both have said they wish they had known earlier.

Gifted kids definately have learning disabilities. It is not any less real because you don’t like the term they use to describe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

call into question the practice of labeling

yes

It depends. My child is 2E and the “labels” helped him deal with it all.

Oh, brother

??? Why the eye roll?

Because the term “twice exceptional” is so cringeworthy? That’s my guess.

I agree, but I have accepted it as the new vernacular. For my son, who is both gifted in math and science and has severe disabilities with reading and writing, having the “label” was helpful for him to understand what was going on. Sometimes naming something helps people. The label did not make him stick out, it was what was behind the label that made him stick out. He stuck out without the label.

[Anonymous]

Back to the topic at hand: All the pressure and work to get kids evaluated so they can get into a center is not necessarily the best thing and may have some serious costs.

Parent: Look Larlo, we got you tested and got recommendations and now you’re going to (fill in the name of center school)!
Kid:Great. (Thinking...now what do I do when something is difficult to learn. Actually a lot IS a bit of a challenge. My parents expect everything to be easy for me. I overheard mom saying I’m bored in school and not challenged enough...”)

[Anonymous]

It really depends on who you're labeling. A profoundly gifted child is helped by the label, because they're almost never challenged in school, and they know they're different. We should limit use of the term, in my experience. That was one of the reasons FCPS changed the name of the gifted and talented program to advanced academics program a few years ago.