Is this kid my kid's friend or not?

[Anonymous]

DS, who recently turned 10 and has ADHD, considers another boy in his grade a good friend and in some ways he is. They have a lot of similar interests, eat lunch together a few times a week and pick each other for partner work about every other time. The child is also eager to have playdates and has asked me directly many times. We have extended invites each time, but the parents have always declined and have not reciprocated. DS was also not invited to his recent birthday party. DS's friend has a reputation of being a nice kid who is a good student, athletic and well-behaved. But some times I have seen them interact it is usually the other child bossing my child around like asking him to bring him a snack from our home, or, once, giving him trash to throw away. I've never gotten involved in my DS's friendships and don't want to now but where do you draw the line with a child who sometimes doesn't recognize what it is that makes a good friend?

Does this behavior even rise to the line of being a not so good friend or am I just being sensitive? Do I assume DS will figure it out on his own and let it be? He does have some but not a lot of other friends who treat him well but he really likes this boy.

[Anonymous]

If you have only seen them interact briefly at school, you might not be getting a complete picture.

I would leave it be.

[Anonymous]

Children that age still behave in ways that seem rude and self-centered - because they are still learning not to be. The "Throw this away" is a perfect example. Don't expect adult friendships to occur between 10 year olds. And don't sweat this. It's two-sided.

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old has tendencies to do more for others than others do for him. A part of it is his nature but I watch his interactions too. So far, he recognizes who he is not doing anything else for and doesn't!!! I also keep encouraging him that he is good....

[Anonymous]

I would think about a social skills class or summer camp program at one of the SN schools like Newton, Lab, Kingsbury, Auburn etc. whether or not this kid is a friend your kid may need help advocating for himself.