Optimal time for hubby to take his parental leave?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to have about four months off for maternity leave. My husband can realistically take just a couple of weeks of parental leave. We won't have any relatives around helping us, so I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for when it's most useful for the husband to be home. At the beginning? After two or three weeks, to allow me to get some more rest then? Or at the end of the maternity leave, so I can ease back into work and prolong how long the baby is at home?

He should have some vacation days accrued by the end of my maternity leave though, so he might be able to take a bit of regular time off then. Given his job, it's generally easier to spread out his time off than to take it in a big chunk (ie more than two weeks).

I assume that if a c-section is necessary for any reason, then it would probably be best for him to stay home at the beginning. But I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery, and I plan to breastfeed exclusively (hopefully at some point pumping occasionally, so my husband can do some of the feedings while I rest).

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

If you do not have any family coming to help (and also don't have any local friends who could help out), I would recommend having him take at least one week right at the beginning. Then, he could conceivably go back to work and take the second week a little later or, even better, take one or two days off per week for the next few weeks... this could give you a nice break mid-week. (Regarding paternity leave, we have the opposite situation wherein it must be taken in increments of at least one week at a time, and it seems like being able to take a day here or there would be nice.)

Whatever you decide, good luck!

[Anonymous]

my husband gets 6 weeks paternity leave.

i will be taking three months, he will take two weeks, initially and once my three months are up, he will take his last 4 weeks. giving us a total of 4 months w/o childcare.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 13:20. I would highly, highly recommend at least a week right at the beginning. You will need all hands on deck with a newborn, and it would feel lonely to be trying to learn all this new stuff and adjust to being a family without your husband around.

My husband took 2 weeks straight when the baby was born, and then he took 1-2 days off each week for several more weeks after that (maybe 4 more weeks). That worked great for us -- though I would have loved it if the 2 weeks could have been more!

[Anonymous]

we are planning to do what the PP did--that is, hubby takes some of his leave right away, we figure he'll take about 2 weeks off the bat (i'm due just before christmas, so no one will be in his office much anyway), and then a day or two off a week once I'm up and about, maybe after 4-6 weeks, to give me some time to work, even if from home (or just get out of the house). My mom is coming out about 3 weeks after due date--sort of when we imagine DH will go back to work. other than that, we have no family who are really able to help out (visit yes, help no).

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

Like you, I have no family in town or visiting straight away. I'm three weeks post partum and DH is still home with me, THANK GOD! Do you have any flexibility with your husband's paternity leave? If so, you may want to try to make this a game time decision. My DH works from home and was able to minimize his projects. I figured a week or 10 days at most should do it, but we ended up having a baby who feeds every hour and a half on the dot (I'm also EBFing) and, while he can't feed him, he can walk and rock him back to sleep after the feed if your baby has a hard time going back to sleep, he can do diaper changes so you don't have to actually physically get up out of bed, and more. This is probably most important in the week after delivery, depending of course on your baby and how things go. I had a natural childbirth, easy time breastfeeding, and still needed my husband. I had a second degree tear, which wasn't insanely painful postpartum, but didn't feel great either and I had to take it easy. So basically, for me, having DH here so far has saved my life, but I've heard of other moms having a very easy time of it and not really needing too much help.

Good luck with whatever you decide!