How to get out of parking/speed camera tickets in DC (a theory)

[Anonymous]

I recently contested a parking ticket in DC, and I had it dismissed. My protest to the ticket was outright stupid, so I began to think... why? Why did they dismiss this ticket?

This morning I had an epiphany (I think).

Like the parking ticket administrator/adjudicator, I am a bureaucrat, but in the federal government. Sometimes I am on duty to answer emails from the public, and I have a 50-page document of "boilerplate" or template responses that I have sent thousands of times. 80% of my responses come from my boilerplate document. The other 20% or so, are "unique" questions that I have to research.

If I were the type of bureaucrat who could "dismiss" questions that were "unique," I would, because it would just make my life easier. If I had thousands of requests in my queue, I would dismiss anything that requires me to type, or look up any information.

This theory plays out. For example, this guy got his ticket dismissed by claiming that he could not have been driving his car: http://www.copblock.org/33390/how-to-beat-a-photo-enforced-speeding-ticket-or-red-light-ticket/ He thinks he has a brilliant constitutional argument but it's really pretty stupid, especially since it actually does not matter under DC law who is driving the car.

His ticket was dismissed successfully. However, many of the commenters on his page and others online used the same excuse and their tickets were not dismissed. This is because after seeing the same contested ticket dozens of time, the adjudicator wrote up a response and added it to his/her boilerplate. The contested ticket is no longer "unique" and the adjudicator now has a boilerplate response that he will quickly pull up.

So, when you have a ticket and you want to "contest" it, don't use a response you found on the internet. Try to come up with a unique reason that will require the adjudicator to type, or look up the law,. Make the adjudicator work, and the ticket will be dismissed. This is my theory, at least.

[Anonymous]

bureaucrats giving us a peep into the lazy workplace. I kid, I kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:bureaucrats giving us a peep into the lazy workplace. I kid, I kid.

I will be unnecessarily defensive here because as a Fed I feel under siege: I answer ALL questions, but I get at most a couple dozen per day. The ones that require research are a nuisance, but I do them as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, if I had a queue that was in the thousands, as I assume DC bureaucrats have, based on the fact that I got a parking ticket 7 months ago and I got the dismissal last week, I would dismiss ANY that required more than a couple minutes worth of work. So if you make them do "work," the ticket will be dismissed.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you make a pretty good case for your job to be done by an automated search function, with the remaining 20% that you research and answer being redirected to someone else who can pick up the hypothetical 20% from you and four other less than fully utilized bureaucrats

Then the five of you can peruse other opportunities in the private sector, and with the elimination of those five positions, a cost savings of more than $500,000 annually could be realized. Not to mention a reduction in pension expenses, assuming you would no longer be qualified for federal retirement benefits.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I got out of a D.C. speeding camera ticket by writing a letter pleading the fifth. This was back in 2009 or 2010.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure that many folks caught in a camera speeding ticket or red light ticket will feel it unfair, but these machines help to keep our kids safe. Compared to suburban jurisdictions' police, MPD has never really made motor vehicle violations a priority (as compared, say, to hanging out at Best Buy). I'm glad to see the cameras pick up the slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that many folks caught in a camera speeding ticket or red light ticket will feel it unfair, but these machines help to keep our kids safe. Compared to suburban jurisdictions' police, MPD has never really made motor vehicle violations a priority (as compared, say, to hanging out at Best Buy). I'm glad to see the cameras pick up the slack.

Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

[Anonymous]

[vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you make a pretty good case for your job to be done by an automated search function, with the remaining 20% that you research and answer being redirected to someone else who can pick up the hypothetical 20% from you and four other less than fully utilized bureaucrats

Then the five of you can peruse other opportunities in the private sector, and with the elimination of those five positions, a cost savings of more than $500,000 annually could be realized. Not to mention a reduction in pension expenses, assuming you would no longer be qualified for federal retirement benefits.

I would LOVE for that part of my job to be done by an automated search function, but fortunately, it is only a small part of my duties.

But now you have a business idea! Go forth, private sector entrepreneur, and create an automated email response function for the government! Make it do FOIA requests too, while you're at it!

[Anonymous]

I absolutely agree with your theory! I am a govt lawyer and previously represented people in litigation against the govt. You throw enough sand in the works and sometimes the answer that emerges is "too much trouble to engage.".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that many folks caught in a camera speeding ticket or red light ticket will feel it unfair, but these machines help to keep our kids safe. Compared to suburban jurisdictions' police, MPD has never really made motor vehicle violations a priority (as compared, say, to hanging out at Best Buy). I'm glad to see the cameras pick up the slack.

Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Seriously. I can get behind speed cameras on residential streets and in school zones but the ones on the frigging interstate are indefensible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Why can't you just...not speed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that many folks caught in a camera speeding ticket or red light ticket will feel it unfair, but these machines help to keep our kids safe. Compared to suburban jurisdictions' police, MPD has never really made motor vehicle violations a priority (as compared, say, to hanging out at Best Buy). I'm glad to see the cameras pick up the slack.

Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Seriously. I can get behind speed cameras on residential streets and in school zones but the ones on the frigging interstate are indefensible.

Yes, because speeding on interstates never causes accidents and presents no safety problems to those in breakdown lanes.

Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Why can't you just...not speed?

What?!?! How DARE you suggest people comply with laws they don't like!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that many folks caught in a camera speeding ticket or red light ticket will feel it unfair, but these machines help to keep our kids safe. Compared to suburban jurisdictions' police, MPD has never really made motor vehicle violations a priority (as compared, say, to hanging out at Best Buy). I'm glad to see the cameras pick up the slack.

Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Seriously. I can get behind speed cameras on residential streets and in school zones but the ones on the frigging interstate are indefensible.

That is, until you see a horrible accident on the interstate.

Just slow down. Obey the law (especially some of you self-centered, arrogant twits who went to law school). Drive safely. You won't get tickets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, there are a lot of kids running across 295.

Why can't you just...not speed?

I don't. But PP's logic is stupid.