Birthday Blues!!!!

[Anonymous]

Ok- We as a family are so Frustrated!!!! Our daughter is turning 4 in a few months and we are planing her birthday party- There is SO much pressure to go to very expensive places, have organized activities, crafts, moon bounces etc- ....Whatever happened to having a few friends over for cake and ice cream?

She is FOUR- if we do this now then what will happen when she is 7, 10 12 or 18??? (by then we will be flying kids to Florida for the weekend! UGH- I am so frustrated!

[Anonymous]

When my DD turned four, we had a Tinkerbell tea party, with two aunts, an au pair, her brother, her two parents, and two boy cousins (ages 10 and 11). It was her favorite birthday so far (she remembers her second and third birthdays vividly). I don't know why people insist on making a big thing out of birthdays when they are so young. Your right, it does set up certain expectations for the years to follow.

I wouldn't give into the pressure. You have to do what is right for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I agree - for DS first Bday everyone kept asking where it was going to be and what the 'theme' was.....I was shocked at all the helpful 'hints' I was being given about venues, where to get the most elaborate cakes,etc. I held out to having it in my home, baking my own cake, and the theme as it was - was just a one year old b-day and we have just family and a few close friends. I hope I can keep to this minimum for the future.

[Anonymous]

i agree. last year for my son's second birthday i had some neighbors and family over and felt like my son would have preferred something smaller...i think he was overwhelmed by so many people (and there weren't that many!) this year we're just bringing cupcakes to school and maybe going to the zoo with a friend who has a little boy his age. we'll have a cake at home of course...but just seems silly to plan something really big.

[Anonymous]

OP, do what you and your child are comfortable with (and can afford). Don't let the peer pressure get you down. Have a good weekend.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I feel exactly the same -- simple is often best when it comes to young children. Go with your gut! Screw the Jones's.

[Anonymous]

Well if there are this many of us who feel the same way, then that's a good thing. We're having 3 friends over for a Sesame Street playdate party for our kiddo's 2nd. Without starting something here... curious where you live... and what kind of neighborhoods I'm going to encounter these elaborate parties. We live close to Bethesda but have lucked out so far with like-mided friends who have had low key parties at their houses. But I'm worried about this once preschool starts...

[zumbamama]

I did the huge birthday gig once and never again! I invited EVERYBODY and I had no time to enjoy with the guests or my son because I was so busy tending to everyone. I think your child will prefer a party where he has your time and attention...and so will you. Now I keep it at 5-7 kids, plus parents. I did a Bowl America this year with 6 kindergarteners, 2 hours in and out, taught my kid how to bowl, got some exercise, kids had a blast and I had no stress.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree - my son is turning 4 and since he's started pre-school, it seems everyone is having the BIG parties. We are either going to BowlAmerica or having a party at our house. A friend (and pre-school teacher) suggested inviting one friend for each year your child is turning - eg. 4 friends for my son's 4th bday... I like that idea!! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

No reason to be frustrated. Just do what you want to do. My kids don't get ANY birthday party until their third. And, that consisted of having two friends over, playing for a little while, and eating hot dogs and then cake and ice cream. Oh, and I requested no gifts as well, which was thinakfully respected. I'm not opposed to a huge, fun, expensive or themed birthday party once or twice in their lifetime, espeically if they are older and take a particular interest in wanting that sort of thing. There's no harm in that if you have the energy and money for it. However, for a regular year-to-year event, my kids will get very low-key, normal types of parties at home, with maybe a special activity alone with mom or dad earlier in the day. That's just more suited to our household, and I don't give a damn what anyone else does or thinks.

[Anonymous]

Just do what you want to do! I had a big party for my son once- it was more for me... I was so excited for his birthday! I use to have parties before kids... and don't anymore. I really don't care if someone has a circus at their house or if we're the only playmate...

I remember when I was a child at one of my birthday parties my dad had me (and my friends) take turns standing on a 2x4 (block of wood) and he tried to knock us off by "hitting" us w/a pillow. I don't think my mom was that pleased, but it was fun!

I would also just add that I know some people who never had birthday parties... and they are probably eager to give their kids what they wanted as children.

You sound like a great mom... I'm sure most people out there would be thrilled to be invited to your child's b-day party... whether for cake or a huge moon bounce.