My visiting sister won't stop buying herself gifts
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Anonymous
| She wants to go shopping EVERY day, all day. She constantly buys herself gifts, copper, brass bells, Xmas decorations, six pair of shoes a half dozen CDs, silk scarf, a lined trench coat, ...so far. She is a compulsive shopper and a hoarder. After a week I'm about to go CRAZY. I know she will soon start asking for things in my home. One more week to go and I'm barely hanging on. |
Anonymous
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I think it's called buying yourself "things" not "gifts."
That's sad about her compulsion. 2 weeks is a long time to have someone in your home even in the best of circumstances. |
Anonymous
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Have you asked her about her hoarding? Maybe you should watch some "Buried Alive" hoarding shows on YouTube to try to understand her. Has she always been this way, or has she recently suffered a traumatic event where she is trying to fill the void with stuff?
Have you talked with her about getting her therapy? This would be a good time. Have you ever been to her home to see the state of her living environment? |
Anonymous
| If she can affording buying herself things (NOT gifts), then MYOB. It's not your place to judge her shopping. |
Anonymous
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Are you the OP from a few weeks ago who has a sister always asking to take items you own? Say no to the shopping trips, no to taking things from your house. She is very ill, and you won't change her, but at least you can show and tell her that this is making you highly uncomfortable and that you can't enable it. Encourage her to seek psychiatric help. |
Anonymous
| 2 weeks is way too long. |
Anonymous
| How will she get it all home? |
Anonymous
| Why do you care if this is how she wants to spend time/money? For example, maybe she would think you are crazy for spending time on anonymous Internet forums. it's not her place to judge you or you her unless it's causing real harm. Live and let live-and limit guests to one week. |
Anonymous
She is planning to ship UPS boxes to her home. Yes, I am the former poster. Yes, I've been to my sister's home. Entire rooms and the garage are filled to the ceiling with boxes of expensive stuff she has bought. She acknowledges she is a hoarder. |
Anonymous
This is a mental health issue. If she's not willing to seek help, and you're not living near her, I don't see what you can do. If you're bothered by all her shopping and asking to take your items, then you need to stop having her stay with you. |
Anonymous
| Don't enable her. |
Anonymous
This. Are you driving her to stores? If so, stop. If she has a rental car or can take public transportation, then there's not much you can do. But if you are driving her, then you only have yourself to blame. Are you driving her to stores? |
Anonymous
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Yes, I have been driving her to stores. This is her first visit to me in eight years and I ask what she wants to do, but I told her last night that we need to stop shopping as going into stores encourages me to buy things I don't need (true). She agreed, so we will see.
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Anonymous
I'd just stay at home today. Don't even get the car to go anywhere. She'll figure out how to buy something. Instead: Go for walks. Do a craft together. Watch a movie on Netflix together. Cook a big meal together. There are so many things you can without getting in the car. |
Anonymous
+1 |