Incredibly Covid-cautious pediatrician

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a great doctor. Why would you risk a newborn's health? You may be vaccinated but you have three kids who aren't and they deserve to not get COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you seek out the advice of a highly trained professional and then are upset when they give you the advice you ask for and now go to a group of random strangers for advice. The doctors job is to recommend best practices. If you are unable to take that advice you should be a grown up and say « we aren’t able to do that. What’s the next best thing? » It is not Cheesecake Factory where they are just there to give you what you want.

Doctors are not gods. Plenty of them give strange advice.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth when I had my last baby (my 3rd) the pediatrician's advice was to have to siblings change clothes and wash hands after coming home from preschool/daycare. Not during covid, but baby was born in the middle of flu season.

Your pediatrician gave you her opinion. Make the best decision for your family and know you did your best.

[Anonymous]

My oldest got RSV at 6 weeks, which turned into bronchitis and she had difficulty breathing - it was scary as hell! I kept my 2nd kid “quarantined” away from people for the first couple months. Maybe what the pediatrician says to do is too much but try to do as much as you can, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you seek out the advice of a highly trained professional and then are upset when they give you the advice you ask for and now go to a group of random strangers for advice. The doctors job is to recommend best practices. If you are unable to take that advice you should be a grown up and say « we aren’t able to do that. What’s the next best thing? » It is not Cheesecake Factory where they are just there to give you what you want.

I'm not even convinced that all kids out of childcare from August to the end of flu season (so what, April?) and no contact outside the nuclear family is a best practice. That's what most of us did for a lot of this past year and it was tough but some employers were underatanding. Without that understanding, it's not possible to keep a job. Plus, not seeing family or friends or anyone else evn if vaccinated sounds depressing and isolated.

"Get a nanny if you can," ok. "Quarantine for a month," ok. Both big asks. But this is extreme at a level that isn't considering realism.

This is advice for a days old newborn, PP, in the first weeks of life. And, again, the pediatrician knows OP has maternity leave until the beginning of December. I don’t think keeping the older kids out of daycare for six weeks is a huge ask to protect a newborn.

I reread the OP before posting and no, it definitely said until the end of flu season. I think a lot of people are skimming assuming a more reasonable version of the pediatrician's advice - which tells OP something about what "normal" is too.

FWIW I had a fall baby 3 months before COVID hit and didn't get any advice along these lines. Older kid was in day care until the day he was born and went back the week after. Maybe that wasn't ideal but everyone was much more concerned with maintaining the older kids routine 2 years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you seek out the advice of a highly trained professional and then are upset when they give you the advice you ask for and now go to a group of random strangers for advice. The doctors job is to recommend best practices. If you are unable to take that advice you should be a grown up and say « we aren’t able to do that. What’s the next best thing? » It is not Cheesecake Factory where they are just there to give you what you want.

when a doctor gives really extreme advice (apparently no childcare at all for months for 3 small kids and working parents) you have to ask questions.

The mother is home on maternity leave until Thanksgiving. She won’t be working.

and is supposed to care for a 4 year old, 2 year old, and newborn herself with no help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if you are still reading OP but I go to an extremely covid cautious ped in Maryland. So cautious she basically closed her practice until weeks ago and only did car visits in basically a space suit. I had a baby during this time and she understood that in order to bond with my baby my older one needed preschool and when my sick leave was up said baby needed to go to daycare. She filled out the forms and sent me on my way. Maybe she secretly thought I was dumb but kept her opinion to herself. It was fine. You don’t need anyone’s permission to do what is best on balance for your fam.

wow - I would get a new ped.

[Anonymous]

Send them to day care but have them change clothes and wash hands when they come home and have them wear masks if directly interacting with baby.

Good middle ground. Their development and your mental health are important too.

[Anonymous]

Fresh take: I would also ask OB, whose main concern is health of the mom. Yanking two preschoolers out of daycare and having them plus a new baby home all day is a recipe for PPD/PPA. Life even before covid is weighing risks and costs and benefits. No decision is perfect. You can’t be laser focused on only one risk so much so that you ignore everything else. Only you know your life but there’s a lot of factors here including your mental health and also marital stress and finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fresh take: I would also ask OB, whose main concern is health of the mom. Yanking two preschoolers out of daycare and having them plus a new baby home all day is a recipe for PPD/PPA. Life even before covid is weighing risks and costs and benefits. No decision is perfect. You can’t be laser focused on only one risk so much so that you ignore everything else. Only you know your life but there’s a lot of factors here including your mental health and also marital stress and finances.

This.
I had DD#2 last May. We kept older DD home from daycare for the duration of my maternity leave. She was 4 at the time, so somewhat independent, but very extroverted and in need of constant interaction/entertainment. No outside help at all due to the pandemic, and DH went back to work less than a week after DD#2 was born, so I was on my own. Not going to lie, it was hard. I already had a history of PPD/PPA, and I got VERY lucky that DD#2 was a good sleeper from day 1, but it sucked, and it impacted my own physical recovery. PP is right, this is a recipe for mental health issues for mom.
Older DD was a winter baby, so we had the risks of flu/RSV with her as a newborn. We took precautions then, too, but we didn’t overdo it. Looking back, we went overboard with the isolation for DD#2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fresh take: I would also ask OB, whose main concern is health of the mom. Yanking two preschoolers out of daycare and having them plus a new baby home all day is a recipe for PPD/PPA. Life even before covid is weighing risks and costs and benefits. No decision is perfect. You can’t be laser focused on only one risk so much so that you ignore everything else. Only you know your life but there’s a lot of factors here including your mental health and also marital stress and finances.

Exactly. Adjusting to a new baby takes time and help. If daycare is the help available then use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow the crazies are really on DCUM today — lol a spinal tap for sniffles in a newborn. Give me a break. It will be ok OP. Make sure caregivers are vaccinated though. Some centers are being upfront about that.

Maybe look into things before you start accusing. Yes a fever in a newborn under 3 months = spinal tap. No matter what, even if they look ok and every other kid in the house is sick so you're pretty sure they have the same cold. And this has nothing to do with covid, this has been true for the last 20+ years.

+1. And it’s every bit as horrible as it sounds.

I mean, I went through this with my newborn pre covid and yes it was terrible but I still wouldn't have kept my other children home to quarantine. You have to life your life.

[Anonymous]

I’m in the same situation and same ages and 0% chance I’m pulling my older 2. Covid is less of a risk to all 3 than flu and it’s not like parents pull kids from school every flu season when a baby is born. This is lunacy and pulling them has its risks also

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t look for a new doctor, but I would take her advice with a grain of salt. Nod and smile

Good god I would absolutely look for a new ped. I had a baby in Feb and my ped, who is volunteering to do kid vax so she is no covid denier, was thrilled my kids were in school and just said make sure we wash hands and all the usual precautions. Sorry, your ped sounds insane.

[Anonymous]

I’m team “this ped is insane”

Had a baby in March, my 2yo never left daycare. She (the 2yo) has had three colds since we brought him (baby) home, including literally the day I came home from the hospital. Each time she’s been sick we’ve masked her whenever they’re in the same room and we’ve gotten a same day COVID test at right time. She has no problem with the masks since they wear them at daycare. She has been negative for COVID each time and he’s never caught the colds either, so far!