SAHM just back to work...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

I really want a breakdown on how working could be easier? Just logistics of a given day is way more hectic : a) drop of commute work commute pickup make dinner — vs b)hang out with kid lunch dinner.

Also, work has its own set of demands.

Please let us know about your tricks that make a easier than b?

We have a nanny so no logistics regarding drop off and daycare. Part of her duties include making dinner every night.

And honestly my kids are hard for me to handle on my own. I'd MUCH rather be at work than hanging out making dinner with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

I really want a breakdown on how working could be easier? Just logistics of a given day is way more hectic : a) drop of commute work commute pickup make dinner — vs b)hang out with kid lunch dinner.

Also, work has its own set of demands.

Please let us know about your tricks that make a easier than b?

I keep asking this question, but all I get is references to coffee breaks? If I don't get a clear picture, yeah have to call troll.

Why do you think men are so eager to get back to work after a new baby?!

I was dying to cut my maternity leave short. Caring for a newborn is excruciatingly dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

I really want a breakdown on how working could be easier? Just logistics of a given day is way more hectic : a) drop of commute work commute pickup make dinner — vs b)hang out with kid lunch dinner.

Also, work has its own set of demands.

Please let us know about your tricks that make a easier than b?

We have a nanny so no logistics regarding drop off and daycare. Part of her duties include making dinner every night.

And honestly my kids are hard for me to handle on my own. I'd MUCH rather be at work than hanging out making dinner with them.

This sounds worse than I mean it.

I mean, it's hard for me to get necessary chores done (like making dinner or grocery shopping) with them in tow.

I'd much prefer to sit down and play a board game with them after eating the dinner our nanny made us, which is what we do most nights.

[Anonymous]

Ok but maternity leave / newborn phase is just a shitshow for most people lol so I am not sure you can extrapolate that to SAH vs WOH in general.

Again I don’t doubt that staying at home with young children is more emotionally mentally and physically taxing (not to mention monotonous) than a normal 40 hour per week job where work is left at the office, but I think for a lot of posters on DCUM, unless they have outsourced everything and/or have very involved family nearby, the average household where both parents work fairly demanding jobs makes WOH a more challenging struggle. Especially when kids are sick and/or these random cold delays, having to scramble for last minute care and rearrange schedules/meetings makes life infinitely more stressful, whereas if one parent SAH this would be a non issue. We have also been asked to travel on occasion on overlapping days - I have had to say no once or twice and we have flown in family to cover on two other occasions which is totally not sustainable but just trying to survive and advance at this point.

And then when your children are school age, there’s no way that it’s not easier staying at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok but maternity leave / newborn phase is just a shitshow for most people lol so I am not sure you can extrapolate that to SAH vs WOH in general.

Again I don’t doubt that staying at home with young children is more emotionally mentally and physically taxing (not to mention monotonous) than a normal 40 hour per week job where work is left at the office, but I think for a lot of posters on DCUM, unless they have outsourced everything and/or have very involved family nearby, the average household where both parents work fairly demanding jobs makes WOH a more challenging struggle. Especially when kids are sick and/or these random cold delays, having to scramble for last minute care and rearrange schedules/meetings makes life infinitely more stressful, whereas if one parent SAH this would be a non issue. We have also been asked to travel on occasion on overlapping days - I have had to say no once or twice and we have flown in family to cover on two other occasions which is totally not sustainable but just trying to survive and advance at this point.

And then when your children are school age, there’s no way that it’s not easier staying at home.

Yep. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok but maternity leave / newborn phase is just a shitshow for most people lol so I am not sure you can extrapolate that to SAH vs WOH in general.

Again I don’t doubt that staying at home with young children is more emotionally mentally and physically taxing (not to mention monotonous) than a normal 40 hour per week job where work is left at the office, but I think for a lot of posters on DCUM, unless they have outsourced everything and/or have very involved family nearby, the average household where both parents work fairly demanding jobs makes WOH a more challenging struggle. Especially when kids are sick and/or these random cold delays, having to scramble for last minute care and rearrange schedules/meetings makes life infinitely more stressful, whereas if one parent SAH this would be a non issue. We have also been asked to travel on occasion on overlapping days - I have had to say no once or twice and we have flown in family to cover on two other occasions which is totally not sustainable but just trying to survive and advance at this point.

And then when your children are school age, there’s no way that it’s not easier staying at home.

Yep. This.

Yup. +1000

[Anonymous]

I’ve been home for nearly ten years and am beginning to apply for positions too. I also have three kids and reallythe guilt is overwhelming. I almost didn’t apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok but maternity leave / newborn phase is just a shitshow for most people lol so I am not sure you can extrapolate that to SAH vs WOH in general.

Again I don’t doubt that staying at home with young children is more emotionally mentally and physically taxing (not to mention monotonous) than a normal 40 hour per week job where work is left at the office, but I think for a lot of posters on DCUM, unless they have outsourced everything and/or have very involved family nearby, the average household where both parents work fairly demanding jobs makes WOH a more challenging struggle. Especially when kids are sick and/or these random cold delays, having to scramble for last minute care and rearrange schedules/meetings makes life infinitely more stressful, whereas if one parent SAH this would be a non issue. We have also been asked to travel on occasion on overlapping days - I have had to say no once or twice and we have flown in family to cover on two other occasions which is totally not sustainable but just trying to survive and advance at this point.

And then when your children are school age, there’s no way that it’s not easier staying at home.

Yep. This.

Yup. +1000

I stayed at home for the first 12 months with each of my older 2 children. It was not economically viable to stay at home with the 3rd. Staying at home was definitely easier. I don't consider raising my own children to be 'work'. I really enjoyed my time at home with them. No, I did not have any help. No nanny, no babysitter, no relatives, nothing. What I did have was the opportunity to do everything at my own pace instead of rushing to get all of the household chores/meal prep/interaction done between 6pm and 11pm. I also had the opportunity to spend all of their waking hours with my kids. I could take them anywhere I wanted, we could do whatever we wanted. It was fantastic. My job, on the other hand, well, it is what I need to do to pay the bills, but it is stressful and the environment is borderline hostile. I am pretty sure that if nothing changes, I won't live to retire from this. Thanks, economy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

You are, without a doubt, the biggest moron on DCUM. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

There are studies that show that WORKING moms spend more time with their kids than stay at home parents? How is that mathematically possible?

[Anonymous]

OP, did you ever return to describe your logistics, we are looking for tips on how to make it easier. I really miss SAH.

[Anonymous]

Everyone know working is far easier. That's why people who have a choice, choose to work.

[Anonymous]

I think anything seems easier when it’s fresh and new. It’s the grind that wears you down, whether it’s SAH or WOH. Talk to us after a few months, OP.

[Anonymous]

I stay at home with my child while writing a book. Not sure what to call myself but I am tired!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

You are, without a doubt, the biggest moron on DCUM. Congratulations.

The argument is that working moms spend more quality time with their kids, not overall time. Ie they are not zoned out on the playground phoning it in like the PP. she may have just spent five hours with her kids but if she was zoned out then the study is saying that is not quality time.