Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

No. Not until high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a 4th grader need a phone? Are parents that lazy these days where they don't want to put the effort into parenting? I'm guessing these same parents are the ones that let their kid vegg out at dinner out on a phone so that Mommy and Daddy can have a quiet drink.

OP, please don't do it if "everyone else is doing it". For God's sake, be a parent.

You are a sanctimonious asshole.

Only on DCUM does a responsible parent get labeled a sanctimonious asshole.

Smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Not until high school.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Not until high school.

+1

+1. On occasion, 7th grade DS will take my retro flip phone, which we reactivated with Verizon so that DS could use it as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a 4th grader need a phone? Are parents that lazy these days where they don't want to put the effort into parenting? I'm guessing these same parents are the ones that let their kid vegg out at dinner out on a phone so that Mommy and Daddy can have a quiet drink.

OP, please don't do it if "everyone else is doing it". For God's sake, be a parent.

My kid has a phone because we go places where we could get separated. Or, he's in a different part of the building I am not allowed and for school. He had some health issues where he should have gone to the doctor or ER and the teacher refused to send him to the nurse to call me even though I asked her and told her how serious it was.

Reality is your kid will use a friends phone or tablet and you cannot monitor that. Reality is that your kid will have to ask a stranger in an emergency to use their phone and not everyone wants a kid on their phone or to deal with it. In 4th, many parents drop off for activities (it amazes me in public spaces with no supervision) and kids need a way to contact the parents. They often ask to borrow our phones when the parents are late/cannot find them and its annoying. I don't have my kid on my phone so I don't want yours. And, I get tired of waiting with yours as they don't want to be in a public space alone for 30 minutes till the parents can be bothered getting them.

And, some parents spend lots of time with their kids so dinner time is the least of the concerns. So, yup, we let our kids have their tablets at dinner so we can talk as its the only time we see each other between activities, homework and spending time with the kids.

I don't care what another parent is doing. I want my kid safe and a way to contact me if they aren't so I can deal with it and they know they can rely on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 5th grade DD does not have a phone, and just a few people I know have given their kids phones. The great majority of her group does not have one and is also not in a rush to get one.

All I hear about once they get a phone is the Group Chats. Based on what parents tell me and the one extreme case of bullying that came out of that with a friend's then 6th grader, I'm in no rush at all.

Most of these no phone parents have kids with tablets. They can do the group chats on the tablets just as easily. And, as a parent, you heavily monitor the phone. You can have their texts, photos and more to your phone. You don't give them the password to download. Easy restrictions.

My 4th grader is doing group chat on a video game with his classmates. They all share their user name and send each other messages. Don't think it isn't happening younger.

[Anonymous]

My 9yo DS has a phone. It is my old iphone 6 and it does have a line. We had an "extra" line free up after my mom passed away, so instead of cancelling, just connected his phone to it. Phones are not allowed in school, so he uses it at home to call me, play music and some games. I check his usage weekly and have parental controls on it. So far no issues.

[Anonymous]

Previous PP, forgot to add that he is not allowed social media, but none of us( parents) have social media or use at all, so he is not interested either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a 4th grader need a phone? Are parents that lazy these days where they don't want to put the effort into parenting? I'm guessing these same parents are the ones that let their kid vegg out at dinner out on a phone so that Mommy and Daddy can have a quiet drink.

OP, please don't do it if "everyone else is doing it". For God's sake, be a parent.

You are a sanctimonious asshole.

Only on DCUM does a responsible parent get labeled a sanctimonious asshole.

Smh

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grade DS has a phone strictly for my convenience and his safety. He sometimes comes home to an empty house after school and I want to be able to talk to him and make sure he got in ok and locked the door behind him. We do not have a landline. I also like that I can track him on his walk home or if he goes to the playground alone. Maybe that's overkill, but it makes me feel better when he's home alone and I'm an hour away. He also likes being able to talk to me or facetime me when he gets home. He is not allowed to text, have social media or use his phone for anything else other than listening to downloaded music (parent approved) when he's coming home on his own.

Yes this^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest had an iPhone when he was 10. An older sibling upgraded and he got the hand-me-down I never really thought of it as a big deal. Most 10 year olds have cell phones. I don’t see the phone as any different from any other piece of technology. It’s a tool.

Just curious for those of you who think it is no big deal to give your kids a phone, Do you set age restrictions on the phone for content or do you just give them a free for all? Do you set parental controls on your other devices? Or do you just let them figure it out and hope they don't stumble onto porn or other things????

We have parental controls on the phone so that the only people he can text/call during the school day is myself or my husband. Additionally, he is not allowed to take his phone to his room at night (it charges in our room) and we go through it regularly. We allow him to have it on the weekends and he sometimes listens to music or watches videos (gaming) on youtube. but that is ONLY on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my kindergartner is lobbying for a phone and claims that many of her classmates have them.

They can barely go thru the school day without losing their lunch boxers, water bottles etc. Maybe your kid is saying they have phone at home? My K kid has an old android phone he uses to connect on WiFi and watch games etc we don’t have a iPad. It doesn’t have cell service.

This is what I've told her. she's lost her lunch box and gloves about three times since the lobbying began. she swears she won't lose it. lol. it started out as i should get one now so that she can use it when she's in 5th grade. i tried to explain why that made no sense - technology changes, etc. then it turned to "well xx has one". ugh. i hate to disappoint her, i really do, but this time it has to be a no.

Thankfully the kids in my DCs class and school bus don’t have phone to my knowledge so this has not come up yet. But DC has started giving attitude it’s only a matter of time.. they sound like mini teenagers with plenty of drama but none of the sound logic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a 4th grader need a phone? Are parents that lazy these days where they don't want to put the effort into parenting? I'm guessing these same parents are the ones that let their kid vegg out at dinner out on a phone so that Mommy and Daddy can have a quiet drink.

OP, please don't do it if "everyone else is doing it". For God's sake, be a parent.

You are a sanctimonious asshole.

Only on DCUM does a responsible parent get labeled a sanctimonious asshole.

Smh

Here’s why PP was labeled sanctimonious - because she is saying her way is the responsible way. Nope. She is merely choosing differently than others - which is certainly her right. Giving a 4th grader a phone is NOT irresponsible. It is just a different choice than hers.

Saying that your way is the right/responsible/best/only way is what makes you a sanctimonious a$$hole, not the actual choice you are making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine won't have phones til high school but the friends that do seem to use it the same way they use an iPad, texting about homework or reading.

I do feel people should lock their kids' phones down MUCH more than they realize. The porn, violence and twisted videos they stumble upon online is *not* the same as the magazines that floated around when we were kids.

Why do you imagine our kids phones aren't locked down? My kid can't even so much as call someone without me adding the number to their phone. My kid cant add an app without me adding it, my kid doesnt even have adult YouTube, only have kids YT.

Technology has come a long way. What I feel is sad that some parents are scared of technology because they dont know how to use it.

[Anonymous]

Have you actually spent any time on Kids YT?