My son brought a friend on vacation

[Anonymous]

Teen males eat a lot. Please have food available for your guests. DS recently went on vacation with a family and text me on the way home to have food for him when I get him. The family had bagels for breakfast and didnt stop for lunch. He ate 2 bagels and was starving. For this family that was normal for them.

DH is the same and hates traveling with my parents bc they will go 6 hours without eating. He gets hangry and now insists we plan in advance when we're going to eat.

OP should set limits but have food available. Don't go to restaurants with expensive items.

[Anonymous]

Who on earth would begrudge their son’s friend for using sunscreen and eating cookies? Only a cheap a$$ control freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

Yeah, he is ruining your vacation, why not try to ruin his!

Good Lord people... OP allowed her son to invite him. Don't be so petty.

EXACTLY, MORE PEOPLE MORE SNACKS. YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS OP: THEY EAT A LOTTTT

Paying for meals out: presumably there was some agreement before he was invited along. I would not expect my kid's friends to contribute if we went to a restaurant. Even at 18 (my kid isn't quite 19, but I am paying for pizza for a bunch of them this evening...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm baffled by the idea that a 19yo didn't bring his own sunscreen, but instead waited for his friend's mommy to provide it.

Maybe he just left his in his room....

When we go to the beach, one of us. Me, mom, SIL, Bro, Husband... pulls out some sunscreen and we do EVERYONE. When we run out, we go on to the sunscreen of the next family member.

It is frickin' sun screen. Not a personal hygiene product.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have inexpensive food available at your rental place - cereal, hot dogs/buns, spaghetti/sauce, chicken drumsticks, mac & cheese, eggs, lunch meat, bread, English muffins.

I'd be inclined to model healthful eating. Lots of vegetables filling each meal plate at dinner. Fruit with lunch. Omelets for breakfast with English muffin for kids but not cereal, which isn't going to be enough and too carby.

Ugh. Please do not expect a teenage boy to eat like a peri menopausal middle aged woman. You can serve fruit and scrambled egg whites if you want to, but have bagels and breakfast burritos available, too. And do not "model healthy eating" on vacation.

What you want to teach is - "There are 7 people and there are 7 breakfast burritos. Please take one. If you are still hungry after that, you are welcome to make yourself a PB&J sandwich or have a bowl of cereal."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

Yeah, he is ruining your vacation, why not try to ruin his!

Good Lord people... OP allowed her son to invite him. Don't be so petty.

EXACTLY, MORE PEOPLE MORE SNACKS. YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS OP: THEY EAT A LOTTTT

Paying for meals out: presumably there was some agreement before he was invited along. I would not expect my kid's friends to contribute if we went to a restaurant. Even at 18 (my kid isn't quite 19, but I am paying for pizza for a bunch of them this evening...)

Take them to Pizza Hut - there is a good buffet there and they can eat as much or as little as they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who on earth would begrudge their son’s friend for using sunscreen and eating cookies? Only a cheap a$$ control freak.

I tend to agree.

[Anonymous]

Don’t say anything. It’s just going to make things awkward for everyone, and it’s going to make you look bad. And your son will be embarrassed by you and mad at you.

Obviously the friend needs to learn home skills, but it can’t be from you. He will learn when roommates complain in college that he doesn’t do his fair share.

Teen boys eat a ton. Just buy a lot of cheap snacks, take them to cheap buffets, plan on them eating out on their own some meals (they probably want to anyway).

If you’re dying to say something, The only thing you could really say is stuff like, “everyone grab something by the door to take to the beach,”’said in a casual manner.

[Anonymous]

It is fine to say "Joe can you get that cooler? Ben grab those chairs along with the beach bag and Sam can you get those umbrellas and beach towels please."

"You guys are responsible for making dinner on Wednesday night. Figure out what you want to make so that I can take you out shopping for ingredients."

Buffets for when you go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have inexpensive food available at your rental place - cereal, hot dogs/buns, spaghetti/sauce, chicken drumsticks, mac & cheese, eggs, lunch meat, bread, English muffins.

I'd be inclined to model healthful eating. Lots of vegetables filling each meal plate at dinner. Fruit with lunch. Omelets for breakfast with English muffin for kids but not cereal, which isn't going to be enough and too carby.

Ugh. Please do not expect a teenage boy to eat like a peri menopausal middle aged woman. You can serve fruit and scrambled egg whites if you want to, but have bagels and breakfast burritos available, too. And do not "model healthy eating" on vacation.

What you want to teach is - "There are 7 people and there are 7 breakfast burritos. Please take one. If you are still hungry after that, you are welcome to make yourself a PB&J sandwich or have a bowl of cereal."

Yes, this is way more logical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have inexpensive food available at your rental place - cereal, hot dogs/buns, spaghetti/sauce, chicken drumsticks, mac & cheese, eggs, lunch meat, bread, English muffins.

I'd be inclined to model healthful eating. Lots of vegetables filling each meal plate at dinner. Fruit with lunch. Omelets for breakfast with English muffin for kids but not cereal, which isn't going to be enough and too carby.

Ugh. Please do not expect a teenage boy to eat like a peri menopausal middle aged woman. You can serve fruit and scrambled egg whites if you want to, but have bagels and breakfast burritos available, too. And do not "model healthy eating" on vacation.

What you want to teach is - "There are 7 people and there are 7 breakfast burritos. Please take one. If you are still hungry after that, you are welcome to make yourself a PB&J sandwich or have a bowl of cereal."

Yes, this is way more logical.

He needs to fill up on protein and veggies -- not another bowl of cereal. He's "very overweight." He's not burning the carbs. Try an omelette with cheese, veggies, and meat and he'll probably feel full for longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have inexpensive food available at your rental place - cereal, hot dogs/buns, spaghetti/sauce, chicken drumsticks, mac & cheese, eggs, lunch meat, bread, English muffins.

I'd be inclined to model healthful eating. Lots of vegetables filling each meal plate at dinner. Fruit with lunch. Omelets for breakfast with English muffin for kids but not cereal, which isn't going to be enough and too carby.

Ugh. Please do not expect a teenage boy to eat like a peri menopausal middle aged woman. You can serve fruit and scrambled egg whites if you want to, but have bagels and breakfast burritos available, too. And do not "model healthy eating" on vacation.

What you want to teach is - "There are 7 people and there are 7 breakfast burritos. Please take one. If you are still hungry after that, you are welcome to make yourself a PB&J sandwich or have a bowl of cereal."

Yes, this is way more logical.

He needs to fill up on protein and veggies -- not another bowl of cereal. He's "very overweight." He's not burning the carbs. Try an omelette with cheese, veggies, and meat and he'll probably feel full for longer.

Oh, FFS. He's a guest on vacation. It's not OP's job to change his eating habits or help him lose weight. She just has to be a gracious hostess to her guest, and having cereal around for anyone who's still hungry after breakfast is perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

OP- I assume you know this kid fairly well if your DS is close enough friends/you agreed to let him vacation with you, right?

So why is his behavior and eating habits so surprising? You can't tell me you "didnt know".

[Anonymous]

He's 19. Just say to him "Jason, while I'm cleaning up from the dinner I cooked, please go empty the garbage."

"Jason here. You're strong - you can carry this down to the beach."

"Here Jason - here's a shotglass full of sunscreen" or "Jason I'm surprised you didn't bring sunscreen, but here's a bottle of it just for you - this should last you the whole summer."

But why are you spending so much time with a college kid? Shouldn't he and your son be going off together to do things without the parents?

[Anonymous]

I remember 40 years ago my mother being surprised at how much the exchange student she invited on vacation with my brother ate. He put something like a 1/2 pound to a pound of pastrami and cheese on his sandwich, rather than the one or two slices the rest of us took, and so the expensive food we usually have on vacation suddenly became very expensive. When you have a teen son who doesn't eat much, I guess it's shocking to be around one who does. The ONLY thing to do in this situation is for EVERYONE to eat cheaper food, but keep the food itself plentiful, or suck up the expense if you want to continue to have your regular food. That is how a gracious hostess adjusts. You don't make your guest feel uncomfortable about how much food he is eating. If you invited him for the whole summer and you are having second thoughts, then you should have a nice conversation with him about how you are sorry, but the family plans have changed and you can no longer host him for the summer. If it's a shorter vacation, it will be over soon.