14 year old dating 20 year old

[Anonymous]

Have her watch dr Phil and intervention and ask her if she wants that to be her in 3-5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was dating someone who wasn't older but who was into a lot of really bad things. She became very depressed, suicidal, started cutting, had to be hospitalized twice, put in a mental facility once, and had to be pulled out of school and put on suicide watch and homebound studies. At the end of the school year last May, I packed her up and sent her to western Oklahoma to live with her dad. She's now a straight A student, is off her meds, hasn't cut in 6 months, and loves her new school. Drastic times call for drastic measures. They came in for Christmas and I suddenly had my happy daughter back! May you know what to do, and have the strength to do it.

You are an awesome mom. I'm so glad that things have worked out so well for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

OP here. He is not an immigrant, neither are his parents I'm assuming.

Not an immigrant? How stupid do you have to be in HS at age 20?

When I was in high school there were a few 20 year old seniors and they were not immigrants

[Anonymous]

Hire him a hooker and take photos of them together. Show your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you guys not understanding? He started school a year late, then he was held back another year due to medical issues. Regular 18 year old senior plus 2 years of being held back equals 20. Geez. Some of you should go back to school too.

+1
Honestly, why are you all so adamant that this guy doesn't belong in high school? There are plenty more horror stories about 16, 17, 18-year-old "boys" taking advantage of, or raping, or leading vulnerable girls down unsavory paths, etc. than the random 20-year-old that still happens to be in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

OP here. He is not an immigrant, neither are his parents I'm assuming.

Then why is he 20 and still in high school?

I went to school with a guy who was 20 the second half of his senior year. He started K a year late then was held back in elementary school. He was not an immigrant (not were his parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

OP here. He is not an immigrant, neither are his parents I'm assuming.

Then why is he 20 and still in high school?

I went to school with a guy who was 20 the second half of his senior year. He started K a year late then was held back in elementary school. He was not an immigrant (not were his parents).

My kid is going to be 20 in high school. He started late because of medical issues and then got held back in HS because of medical issues. Not much you can do about it. He has to finish but it wasn't possible to do it by age 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

This is a problematic provision if true but blaming the entire daca program is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Probably red shirted and then had some sort of problem that held him back. Warn your daughter she could end up accidentally putting him in jail because of her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would report this to the administration and possibly cops.

It is illegal for a 20 year old man to date a 14 year old child. The school is e cabling statutory rape.

Why the eff is a 20 year old man allowed in a traditional public high school? He should be moved to an alternative school.

Wrong. It is not against the law for a 20 year old to date a 14 year old. It is against the law for the 20 year old to engage in sexual intercourse with the 14 year old.

Most principals have cleared out the 20 year olds by this time of year. The exceptions are the ESOL students who come from Latin American countries who have had little or no formal education. By this time in the school year most principals have shoved the 20 year olds out the door into night school but there are still some enrolled in traditional high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you guys not understanding? He started school a year late, then he was held back another year due to medical issues. Regular 18 year old senior plus 2 years of being held back equals 20. Geez. Some of you should go back to school too.

+1
Honestly, why are you all so adamant that this guy doesn't belong in high school? There are plenty more horror stories about 16, 17, 18-year-old "boys" taking advantage of, or raping, or leading vulnerable girls down unsavory paths, etc. than the random 20-year-old that still happens to be in high school.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you guys not understanding? He started school a year late, then he was held back another year due to medical issues. Regular 18 year old senior plus 2 years of being held back equals 20. Geez. Some of you should go back to school too.

+1
Honestly, why are you all so adamant that this guy doesn't belong in high school? There are plenty more horror stories about 16, 17, 18-year-old "boys" taking advantage of, or raping, or leading vulnerable girls down unsavory paths, etc. than the random 20-year-old that still happens to be in high school.

There's the added element of the 20 year old being so much older. I have a 14 year old. I would think any 20 year old, whether he's a junior in college or a senior in high school, showing romantic interest in my daughter is a creep. The difference between 20 and 14 is huge.

There are 14/15/16/17/18 year olds I'd think were jerks or behaved inappropriately and wouldn't want my daughter to be linked romantically to, but they don't also have that creepy pedophile vibe that a 20 year old's interest in my daughter would have.

[Anonymous]

When I was 15 (and young and naïve), a 29 year old man (married and with a young child) who worked for the same company as me (it was my summer job throughout high school) managed to convince me he cared about me. Being a dumb teenager, I thought we had something special.

I didn't tell my parents about it. My friends knew, and were similarly dumb, so they thought it was cool that an older guy was paying attention to me.

The whole thing lasted for the summers in high school, and culminated in him, on 2 occasions, getting me alone and convincing me to have sexual conduct (that luckily fell short of sex).

Again, being a dumb teenager, I wrote about it in my diary. The job situation was such that his family lived nearby (it was a camp situation, of sorts) and his wife, who probably suspected something all along, found my diary and yelled at me about being a b*tch in front of everyone.

The whole thing blew up, of course. My parents found out. The director of the company told me "it takes two to tango" and did nothing to reprimand the man, much less fire him.

It has taken years for me to process this. I still feel guilty about it, as though it was my fault.

My purpose in saying this is that teenage girls can be naïve when it comes to romance. I hope this episode doesn't involve abuse, but it very likely could. This girl deserves to be protected from what could become something she wrestles with for a long, long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you guys not understanding? He started school a year late, then he was held back another year due to medical issues. Regular 18 year old senior plus 2 years of being held back equals 20. Geez. Some of you should go back to school too.

+1
Honestly, why are you all so adamant that this guy doesn't belong in high school? There are plenty more horror stories about 16, 17, 18-year-old "boys" taking advantage of, or raping, or leading vulnerable girls down unsavory paths, etc. than the random 20-year-old that still happens to be in high school.

There's the added element of the 20 year old being so much older. I have a 14 year old. I would think any 20 year old, whether he's a junior in college or a senior in high school, showing romantic interest in my daughter is a creep. The difference between 20 and 14 is huge.

There are 14/15/16/17/18 year olds I'd think were jerks or behaved inappropriately and wouldn't want my daughter to be linked romantically to, but they don't also have that creepy pedophile vibe that a 20 year old's interest in my daughter would have.

So it creeps you out... but what is actually more damaging to your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 15 (and young and naïve), a 29 year old man (married and with a young child) who worked for the same company as me (it was my summer job throughout high school) managed to convince me he cared about me. Being a dumb teenager, I thought we had something special.

I didn't tell my parents about it. My friends knew, and were similarly dumb, so they thought it was cool that an older guy was paying attention to me.

The whole thing lasted for the summers in high school, and culminated in him, on 2 occasions, getting me alone and convincing me to have sexual conduct (that luckily fell short of sex).

Again, being a dumb teenager, I wrote about it in my diary. The job situation was such that his family lived nearby (it was a camp situation, of sorts) and his wife, who probably suspected something all along, found my diary and yelled at me about being a b*tch in front of everyone.

The whole thing blew up, of course. My parents found out. The director of the company told me "it takes two to tango" and did nothing to reprimand the man, much less fire him.

It has taken years for me to process this. I still feel guilty about it, as though it was my fault.

My purpose in saying this is that teenage girls can be naïve when it comes to romance. I hope this episode doesn't involve abuse, but it very likely could. This girl deserves to be protected from what could become something she wrestles with for a long, long time.

This is horrible. I'm so sorry! You were not at fault. You were very much the victim. How especially awful that the many adults involved did not take responsibility!