What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

We certainly decided to have unprotected sex together.

So what happened? Did you keep the baby? And are you happily married with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marry and then deny sex for years.

=1

+1

mine said she was 'high drive" and that was true while we were dating and for the first 6 months of marriage. After that, it has trickled to 1 x week/10 days instead 4 x week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.

Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?

Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.

You sound really needy.

Agreed. I’d want him to get rest of his own and recharge. But that’s just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.

Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?

Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.

You sound really needy.

Agreed. I’d want him to get rest of his own and recharge. But that’s just me.

It sounds like she legitimately needed help and support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Left me at the hospital overnight after an emergency surgery. Went to work the next day. I finally came to and got a hold of a nurse's phone to call him around 1pm (I had been officially discharged 4 hours prior). He told me he needed to go to a meeting and would come get me later. Finally showed up at 3pm.

So you had to wait as much as two hours? Oh, the humanity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

We certainly decided to have unprotected sex together.

So what happened? Did you keep the baby? And are you happily married with him?

Currently separated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marry and then deny sex for years.

=1

+1

+1

+1

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marry and then deny sex for years.

=1

+1

mine said she was 'high drive" and that was true while we were dating and for the first 6 months of marriage. After that, it has trickled to 1 x week/10 days instead 4 x week

That's pretty normal for the wife to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bought and installed a very high end cooktop without discussing or even telling me ahead of time. He does most of the cooking and knew I wouldn't want to spend four figures on it.

Spent the majority of my inheritance on terrible real estate transactions. I blame myself (partially) for that; I brought that money into the marriage and should never have let him anywhere near it.

He's also terrible in bed and the biggest prude imaginable. Fortunately, he never wants sex so I don't have to put up with mediocre, one-sided sex.

last sentence - weirdly happy to know I'm not the only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.

Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.

Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bought and installed a very high end cooktop without discussing or even telling me ahead of time. He does most of the cooking and knew I wouldn't want to spend four figures on it.

Spent the majority of my inheritance on terrible real estate transactions. I blame myself (partially) for that; I brought that money into the marriage and should never have let him anywhere near it.

He's also terrible in bed and the biggest prude imaginable. Fortunately, he never wants sex so I don't have to put up with mediocre, one-sided sex.

last sentence - weirdly happy to know I'm not the only one.

He’s having sex with someone; just not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bought and installed a very high end cooktop without discussing or even telling me ahead of time. He does most of the cooking and knew I wouldn't want to spend four figures on it.

Spent the majority of my inheritance on terrible real estate transactions. I blame myself (partially) for that; I brought that money into the marriage and should never have let him anywhere near it.

He's also terrible in bed and the biggest prude imaginable. Fortunately, he never wants sex so I don't have to put up with mediocre, one-sided sex.

last sentence - weirdly happy to know I'm not the only one.

He’s having sex with someone; just not you.

I think you missed the point - it's so bad we don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.

Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?

Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.

You sound really needy.

NP here, and I guess I'm needy too. I did send my husband home to sleep though and totally regret it. I needed sleep too! Instead I had to care for a screaming newborn (they're not all "sleepy", you know) after having been awake for days and having had surgery.

[Anonymous]

Continuously threatening suicide, even in front of the kids, to guilt me into staying with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My STBX went home after the birth of our son - home was fifteen minutes away - to pick up some things, including food. He ended up falling asleep and came back five hours later.

And you hold this against him??? Good grief.

+1

If this is the most selfish thing he has ever done, he's fine.

Um okay. I'm in a foreign hospital alone with a newborn and dad goes and takes a multi-hour nap? Yes, that's selfish.

I stand by my statement - if this is the MOST SELFISH thing he has ever done, you should be ok. You were in a hospital being cared for by nurses and doctors and he went home and took a nap. Not what you wanted, right? Not what you dreamed about during pregnancy? I get it, I really do. But...if this is truly the best thing you can come up with...read some of this other stuff.