So Mad at Ex Right Now

[BE_Jack]

The worse thing you can do to your child is to not let him/her expand their wings and fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny if kids that go to Wootton go to Beach Week and are given car keys and parent say have a great summer... they are spoiled entitled shits.

If a 17 year old girl is allowed to walk free alone with no friends around a place in Europe it is cool.

Hope she does not get raped... like 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 freshman at college.

I don't care who you are ... you don't walk around alone.
Your friends/family need to know where you are and when you are getting home.

There's no reason to think her father is not verifying she is home on time every night. There is every reason to wonder why her mother is trying to control her from 4000 miles away.

Because she is alone and it is not safe for women (and men) to be alone.

It would be nice if her ex could say... she has a phone, I went with her to work the 1st day, something.....

Pretending it is okay for a girl to be off alone is not safe.

I have exchange students from all over stay with me... they do not get a bus pass and I send them on their merry way. They are taught how to be safe, how to avoid trouble areas, troubled people, to stay in groups or well light areas, when it is not safe to walk home from metro, to call, don't take Uber alone unless you have your phone ready, etc

I doubt her H is being diligent since most people on this site seem to be so incredibly ignorant to basic safety.... like while in FLA don't wade in the water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, Warsaw is a real hell hole.

The pictures are meaningless.

OP stated that Warsaw was not a developed city. It's looks pretty dang developed to me. They have a fire department, a police department, indoor plumbing, bank machines, cell phone service, and the list goes on. What does Washington, DC have that Warsaw doesn't? Besides an overbearing mother who has no idea she's overbearing.

Still meaningless. Do you think the entire city of almost 2 million people looks like that.

There's every reason to think the girl's father knows the city well and can guide her on areas to avoid. He even introduced her to kids her own age so these are people he seems to know (probably the children of his friends). OP is complaining that she doesn't know these kids in Poland. Well why should she?! I can't imagine complaining that I haven't met the Polish kids my daughter met in Poland while I was sitting in my kitchen in Bethesda (or wherever). It's ridiculous to think she can't take a bus by herself. She's not going to be dragged off the bus by human traffickers.

[Anonymous]

I studied abroad for three months in HS at age 15. It was during the first war in the Persian Gulf. It was an amazing experience. I learned independence, self-reliance, bravery, and humility. Your daughter will be fine and may even come home a better person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

Then good thing the Ex got her some place safe! Otherwise she could be hanging around DC!

Index Info Washington, DC Warsaw
Crime Index: 65.72 27.12
Safety Scale: 34.28 72.88

Great that Warsaw is considered safer. I would bet it's even safer than many American cities. I do however stand by my statement "No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

Then good thing the Ex got her some place safe! Otherwise she could be hanging around DC!

Index Info Washington, DC Warsaw
Crime Index: 65.72 27.12
Safety Scale: 34.28 72.88

Great that Warsaw is considered safer. I would bet it's even safer than many American cities. I do however stand by my statement "No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm."

Most 17-year-olds survive to their 18th birthday, even in Europe. Most don't need a full-time escort.

[Anonymous]

Is there one sock-puppet on this thread (OP maybe?) who thinks that Warsaw is so dangerously unsafe with rapists and human traffickers that the girl shouldn't be riding a bus unescorted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there one sock-puppet on this thread (OP maybe?) who thinks that Warsaw is so dangerously unsafe with rapists and human traffickers that the girl shouldn't be riding a bus unescorted?

You're not in Kansas anymore . . . Lions and tigers and bears!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny if kids that go to Wootton go to Beach Week and are given car keys and parent say have a great summer... they are spoiled entitled shits.

If a 17 year old girl is allowed to walk free alone with no friends around a place in Europe it is cool.

Hope she does not get raped... like 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 freshman at college.

I don't care who you are ... you don't walk around alone.
Your friends/family need to know where you are and when you are getting home.

There's no reason to think her father is not verifying she is home on time every night. There is every reason to wonder why her mother is trying to control her from 4000 miles away.

Because she is alone and it is not safe for women (and men) to be alone.

It would be nice if her ex could say... she has a phone, I went with her to work the 1st day, something.....

Pretending it is okay for a girl to be off alone is not safe.

I have exchange students from all over stay with me... they do not get a bus pass and I send them on their merry way. They are taught how to be safe, how to avoid trouble areas, troubled people, to stay in groups or well light areas, when it is not safe to walk home from metro, to call, don't take Uber alone unless you have your phone ready, etc

I doubt her H is being diligent since most people on this site seem to be so incredibly ignorant to basic safety.... like while in FLA don't wade in the water.

OMG you are completely ridiculous. The girl is staying with her father for the summer. She is presumably home every night. She has a job. She has a bus pass. She and her father walk to the bus stop together every morning. She is in a major European city with a well developed public transit system. She's getting her own friends. Just what sort of support do you envisage her father providing that he isn't right now? Should he accompany her to her job and watch her punch in? Personally interview everyone he hangs out with? What do you mean it's not safe for a girl to be alone? Like, anywhere any time? Do you not see girls and women walking alone in DC all the time? What country are you from that you don't think it's not safe for her to be alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

OMG you are kidding me. You think a middle-class american 17 year old with a job and staying with her dad for the summer in Warsaw is at risk of being trafficked? Get a grip, PP.

The trafficking was an example of a very real, and growing, threat to young girls and young women all over the world. If you think it is that far fetched in Poland, or the U.S. then I suggest you do some research.

And your description is meaningless. Bottom line is, she is 17, in a large city and a foreign country so all the cavalier posts I see on here are ridiculous and there should be better communication than see ya later. But then again, many parents don't parent anymore, they prefer to be more like friends and guidance counselors.

And my children will assure you that I was never an overprotective parent.

She is staying WITH HER FATHER. That she is in a large city is a safety factor, not a threat factor. What do you want her to do? Hourly check-ins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.

OK so she has a job. Near her father's job. They leave the house together every morning and he drops her off at the bus stop. Right?

And she goes out with other teens after work? This is what is making you apoplectic?

You are a ridiculous human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

So clearly, you think the solution is that young women aren't allowed to go alone or travel before age 27? That's the gist of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.

OK so she has a job. Near her father's job. They leave the house together every morning and he drops her off at the bus stop. Right?

And she goes out with other teens after work? This is what is making you apoplectic?

You are a ridiculous human being.

Seriously. I want to find a way to contact OP's daughter, send her this thread, and tell her to stay in Poland for her senior year.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, your subject line is a dead giveaway.
You didn't title this thread "worried about daughter's safety" and place it in the "Tweens and Teens" section.
You titled it "so mad at Ex right now" and put in the relationships section.
You hate him so much you'll grasp at ANYTHING, no matter how ridiculous, to get angry about.
Learn to co-parent and leave your daughter out of your resentment toward your Ex.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you find a nice thing to do for yourself this summer. Maybe go on a trip or take a class. It is unhealthy to sit at home worrying about your daughter on another continent because she's riding a bus and talking to people you haven't met. She might even have a *gasp* boyfriend.

Even if you feel she is young and naive, she will become a much stronger and confident person by the end of the summer because she has been given freedom to make her own daily choices. This is likely something she has never had before. She has met some friends there to guide her so she won't make too many mistakes but she needs to have control to make her own decisions. It is an extremely important life skill.