How do you deal with the humiliation of labor?

[Anonymous]

Just FYI c-sections involve much loss of modesty too. I had two of them and in addition to the surgery they give you a catheter and the nurses check your incision and catheter seemingly constantly for the same day. Also, because you can't move for that first day, they change your enormous maxi pads for you. So, while you won't be pooping (which can be a curse!), people are going to see all of your parts anyway. You just kind of roll with it - and I say this as a modest person who changes in bathroom stalls at the gym.

Also - get ready for the loss of modesty if you will be attempting to breastfeed. Naked boobs and nurses/LCs inspecting what's going on and physically helping position you, etc. I also was okay with that despite my typical modesty.

[Anonymous]

I survived a transvaginal u/s with my FIL in the room when I was early in the 2nd trimester and spotting and no one else was around to go with me to the hospital.

Any modesty I thought I had was long gone after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hah! I have an immigrant story for you. I come from a very conservative culture. I had not even ever had a pap smear until I married and came to this country.

So, when the labor pain started and I landed up in the hospital I was relieved to see the old fatherly male doctor who was my OB/Gyn. He had already seen me down there and so I would not have to have someone new look at me there. See, I was trying to limit the number of people who had seen my hoohah!

Anyways - the labor starts in earnest. My modesty rapidly flies out of the window in the face of the relentless pain. I was exhausted from the long labor and the pushing was not budging the baby. Suddenly, two men look inside the room. They were EMTs in training and they needed to assist with birth as a requirement for the certification. Would I mind if they came in and witnessed?

By that time, the nurse was pushing back on my leg and shouting..."push, push, push". I looked at the EMTs and yelled " Don't just stand there, Hold my leg back" . So these EMTs are holding my leg back and I am pushing and swearing. I am sure I pooped and peed and bled and what not. Anyways the baby comes out and then I am crying and we took a picture with all of them. I did not care that unknown men had seen this whole thing or that I soiled myself.

Many years later, I am still shy about going to my OB/Gyn. I still skip my pap-smears regularly. However, I have no feeling of embarrassment or humiliation about my experience with childbirth. I felt such an high afterwords like I was the most incredible woman who had accomplished the most awesome thing in the world! Seriously.

LOVED THIS POST!!!

Yes, thank you for this! It's empowering.

[Anonymous]

I always said that, after going through years of infertility treatments, I could cook and host a four-course Thanksgiving dinner with my feet up in stirrups, I was THAT used to it. Seriously!

[Anonymous]

You will not care once it gets under way and the doctors, nurses, residents, med students have seen it so many times, yours is just one more vagina.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will not care once it gets under way and the doctors, nurses, residents, med students have seen it so many times, yours is just one more vagina.

Seriously, a gyno on a plane once told my husband you've seen one you've seen them all. They really don't care.

[Anonymous]

I must be an outlier because it did take me by surprise when the NICU team trooped in and stood in the room. I'm sure they couldn't have cared less about seeing me splayed open but I do think it had an adverse effect on me because I started pushing in a different manner and the dr had to correct me. It may have also spurred me to push out the first kid in less than 20 mins too.

I'm not particularly modest or a prude in real life either.

[Anonymous]

I'll be a voice of dissent. I absolutely cared. I only wanted my one doctor and my husband there, and I kept as covered as possible. There was no swearing, no yelling...it was awkward and uncomfortable but I got through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the posters who were especially embarrassed about having pooped / the possibility of pooping, why didn't you just request an enema when you arrived at the hospital?

I don't think they do this anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP, like the other posters have said, when the time comes you will not care and neither will anyone else! It's not like you're going to be naked and splayed out for the world to see. You'll have a gown on and you can even wear a bra if you want to. The people who will be seeing your bottom half are not going to be fazed by anything you might do. They've seen it all - they might as well be looking at your kneecap or your elbow. Labor and childbirth is intense, painful, and messy but you will endure and you get a lovely, snuggly prize at the end! Take it from me. I had to have a preventative cerclage placed at 10 weeks. I had to lie on my back on the operating table. They jacked me up toward the ceiling like I was a car being fixed. My doctor was like a mechanic. I sacrificed my modesty to keep my daughter safe for as long as possible. It was worth it - she was born at 39 weeks and 4 days. I think all moms will agree - when you have kids, in a way your body is no longer your own. You grow them for 9 months, and then when they're out they feed on you, hang on you, crawl all over you. Welcome to motherhood!

[Anonymous]

FTM here too. This is my #1 fear.

[Anonymous]

My mom is an OB and will be by my side during delivery as a doula and advocate. I'm more upset thinking about my mom and DH seeing everything than the doctors. And the thought of in laws barging in. AGH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is an OB and will be by my side during delivery as a doula and advocate. I'm more upset thinking about my mom and DH seeing everything than the doctors. And the thought of in laws barging in. AGH.

Your mom and DH have seen you at your best and at your worst - you'll be fine! Now as for the in-laws, they can wait until after the baby is born!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the posters who were especially embarrassed about having pooped / the possibility of pooping, why didn't you just request an enema when you arrived at the hospital?

LOL. that's worse that pooping!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I survived a transvaginal u/s with my FIL in the room when I was early in the 2nd trimester and spotting and no one else was around to go with me to the hospital.

Any modesty I thought I had was long gone after that.

Did FIL have a good view? Why didn't he stay upwind?