DH stole my money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- what do you think the purpose of "your" account is?

Look, my father died when I was young leaving my mother, my siblings and I nearly destitute. So, I feel I need to have something locked away for just such an emergency! Who knows what can happen. DH could die tomorrow, run off with some other woman or just leave it he wants, and I would be left with nothing. Nothing! So, I need to have that rainy day fund. DH had his retirement. Where is mine?

Sounds like the Joan Crawford movie "Harriet Craig". Tee hee.

[Anonymous]

Geez, something tells me this "account" BS is the tip of the iceberg. Feeling really sorry for your DH right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it is a true story. I opened my bank account statement and saw $2800 taken out to our mortgage company. He didn't even ask me. He just did it! I am so mad! He asked whether he would pay the mortgage late or pay for my car! It has always been like this, him making me choose between things - once it was a car vs. dental work. Why should I have to choose between things I need.

Welcome to the reality of being cash-strapped. Or, to answer your question: Why should you be any different than the rest of us?

Your sense of entitlement is off the charts. You are a SAHM. Why do you need a car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, first YOU ARE WRONG.

Second, I understand your concerns re: death or divorce, but back to point one, YOU ARE WRONG.

You and your DH need to sit down and discuss your concerns and come up with a plan. Regarding death, you both should have adequate life insurance, if you don't get it. That will allay those fears. Regarding the fact that he has his own retirement savings but you do not, there is no reason you shouldn't. You should have your own IRA that is funded monthly. It sounds like you need to sit down with a financial planner and get your financial house in order so you can stop hoarding money and start acting like a partner with your DH. Frankly, you guys should have done this before you decided to stay home. If it turns out after meeting with a financial planner that your family can't afford life insurance and a retirement account for you, you and your DH need to seriously consider your return to the workforce.

100% agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- what do you think the purpose of "your" account is?

Look, my father died when I was young leaving my mother, my siblings and I nearly destitute. So, I feel I need to have something locked away for just such an emergency! Who knows what can happen. DH could die tomorrow, run off with some other woman or just leave it he wants, and I would be left with nothing. Nothing! So, I need to have that rainy day fund. DH had his retirement. Where is mine?

Does he not have life insurance?

THink of this way: Had he not reclaimed the money he provided to you, you'd be homeless right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it is a true story. I opened my bank account statement and saw $2800 taken out to our mortgage company. He didn't even ask me. He just did it! I am so mad! He asked whether he would pay the mortgage late or pay for my car! It has always been like this, him making me choose between things - once it was a car vs. dental work. Why should I have to choose between things I need.

Welcome to the reality of being cash-strapped. Or, to answer your question: Why should you be any different than the rest of us?

Your sense of entitlement is off the charts. You are a SAHM. Why do you need a car?[/quote

OP is the poorly educated limo driver for the kids. Pay attention!

[Anonymous]

Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously.

I don't think it's bad at all that she has her own account of money she save up that was given. No, it shouldn't have come out of the household expenses budget, but is a sah parent supposed to ask his/her spouse for money like a child and not have any for themselves to hold on to?

And why should the money she saved up be used for her personal expenses when the husband has retirement and if he has personal expenses, he doesn't go through the retirement fund.

OP, you need to talk with your husband about having an actual retirement account and your own separate money for yourself that is not part of the household expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously.

I don't think it's bad at all that she has her own account of money she save up that was given. No, it shouldn't have come out of the household expenses budget, but is a sah parent supposed to ask his/her spouse for money like a child and not have any for themselves to hold on to?

And why should the money she saved up be used for her personal expenses when the husband has retirement and if he has personal expenses, he doesn't go through the retirement fund.

OP, you need to talk with your husband about having an actual retirement account and your own separate money for yourself that is not part of the household expenses.

There's so much wrong here it's not even worth replying to specifically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously.

I don't think it's bad at all that she has her own account of money she save up that was given. No, it shouldn't have come out of the household expenses budget, but is a sah parent supposed to ask his/her spouse for money like a child and not have any for themselves to hold on to?

And why should the money she saved up be used for her personal expenses when the husband has retirement and if he has personal expenses, he doesn't go through the retirement fund.

OP, you need to talk with your husband about having an actual retirement account and your own separate money for yourself that is not part of the household expenses.

the vitriol isn't because she's a SAHM -it's because of her attitude about "her stash"

She's basically saying that she's been taking money from what was budgeted for HH expenses - and when her DH's salary isn't enough to cover the mortgage (or car repairs or dental work or whatever) , she is taking NO responsibility for that and getting mad at him and saying he "stole" HER money.

That's the vitriol! So, OP, basically, when your DH comes home and says - "We only have $1000 left in our HH budget for the month because of car repairs, dental work, etc. and we have to pay $2500 for the mortgage" You say "tough shit - figure it out. Don't touch the $100,000 I have saved!"

Nice!!

[Anonymous]

Right, and evidently, she is the only one with "my own" money (read: Money he earned and gave her). "His" money is actually household money (from which she benefits) but she wants to squirrel away something for her and her alone?

No, wrong. If a man did that, you'd all be screaming bloody murder.

[Anonymous]

He paid $1,200 to fix her car. Wonder why she didn't pay for her car to get fixed with her money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He paid $1,200 to fix her car. Wonder why she didn't pay for her car to get fixed with her money.

I dunno. If I was a SAHM, I would assume that repairing the car that does the grocery shopping and errands and kid-schlepping is a household expense, just like repairing the car that takes the person earning the money to work, but then again, I would never have ended up in this situation because I wouldn't have felt the need to hide money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously.

I don't think it's bad at all that she has her own account of money she save up that was given. No, it shouldn't have come out of the household expenses budget, but is a sah parent supposed to ask his/her spouse for money like a child and not have any for themselves to hold on to?

And why should the money she saved up be used for her personal expenses when the husband has retirement and if he has personal expenses, he doesn't go through the retirement fund.

OP, you need to talk with your husband about having an actual retirement account and your own separate money for yourself that is not part of the household expenses.

There's so much wrong here it's not even worth replying to specifically.

Agree. OP is too stupid/stubborn/boring to take good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--you sound very concerned about making sure there is money for you and your children just in case. Why do you choose to SAH? Can you work and earn an income?

Nitwits don't get offered many decent jobs.

[Anonymous]

"Wow, I am surprised at the judgment and vitriol on here. OP is not making money, but she is a sahm and that counts for something, though I know most of you refuse to believe that obviously. "

OP is an idiot. What does that count for?