Dating people from other cultures

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is using a really broad brush to paint 'other cultures'.

I am originally from India. My brother's first wife is Cuban-American and his second white American (Portuguese descent). His current GF is white too. The problem my parents had with any of this has more to do with his inability to stay married than whatever the other person's ethnicity is. His second ex-wife is still absolutely adored by all members of the family.

One of my cousins is married to a Mormon. Another is married to someone from China. None of us have ever really cared who anyone is marrying as long as they are good people, who will treat our family respectfully. OP just needs to find a family like ours where the parents are educated and cares more about the person than their color or culture. There are plenty, since half the people around us are marrying outside of their culture.

Hmm, your brother is a player. Hope he hss enough money for all that alimony😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Why can’t people have a type they like? He’s my type. She’s my type."

Because being someone's type means he likes women who are tall, or who have dark hair, or small breasts, or tiny feet. That's totally different from being into women from Mexico where women come in shapes and sizes and colors.

Serious question - what’s the difference between being attracted to a certain hair color vs a certain skin color?

[Anonymous]

A lot of people here are not going to like this, but white American women have probably the lowest market value in the world when it comes to marriage. As many above had said, what is liberal in “other cultures” is conservative here. Pretty much every culture that is still a culture, is by nature, conservative: Family values, religion, gender roles etc. White American women are seen as too feminist/not feminine enough, too promiscuous, and sorry to say, not putting an effort into their appearance and not adept at cooking and cleaning and raising a family. This isn’t all white American women of course. Mormons are a strong exception. As are those of recent immigrant families, like of Slavic/Eastern European background. But your basic English/Irish/German heritage American, yeah nobody really wants them for marriage. For sex, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

In our church community (which is Greek), the strong preference is for our children to marry within our own culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people here are not going to like this, but white American women have probably the lowest market value in the world when it comes to marriage. As many above had said, what is liberal in “other cultures” is conservative here. Pretty much every culture that is still a culture, is by nature, conservative: Family values, religion, gender roles etc. White American women are seen as too feminist/not feminine enough, too promiscuous, and sorry to say, not putting an effort into their appearance and not adept at cooking and cleaning and raising a family. This isn’t all white American women of course. Mormons are a strong exception. As are those of recent immigrant families, like of Slavic/Eastern European background. But your basic English/Irish/German heritage American, yeah nobody really wants them for marriage. For sex, absolutely.

I would say these stereotypes exist and are damaging but that the most damaging stereotype of all is that white American women do not value family and community. They will not take care of their elders, they will not forge close family and community ties, and they will not teach their children to forge close family and community ties. And based on how our society generally works, this is kind of true, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an American born white man. I dated several foreign born women after my divorce. They weren't conservative. They're very feminist. Their ex husbands couldn't handle their independence and professional success.

I noticed that in some ways they tended to be more conservative than American women. Most of them felt strongly that men should pay for dates, open car doors, etc. Most wore nicer clothes and more makeup than American women with liberal significant professional accomplishments.

The ones from Europe and Latin America have usually had many sexual partners. The ones from Asia and the Middle East usually haven't had all that many.

These were middle aged divorced women.

They’re liberal by their own country’s standards but conservative by American standards. My wife is from Latin America. She’s feminist in that she believes in women’s financial independence, against machismo culture and violence against women (which is a major issue in Latin America). But she’s also against tattooing/body modifications, makes fun of American women for being promiscuous, mocks LGBT’s, thinks the man should earn all the money, and has some racist views on other ethnicities.

how can she be a feminist and want man to make all the money but financial independence for women? lol!
I think it is known as using convenience for anything that suits you.

because she is a user.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people here are not going to like this, but white American women have probably the lowest market value in the world when it comes to marriage. As many above had said, what is liberal in “other cultures” is conservative here. Pretty much every culture that is still a culture, is by nature, conservative: Family values, religion, gender roles etc. White American women are seen as too feminist/not feminine enough, too promiscuous, and sorry to say, not putting an effort into their appearance and not adept at cooking and cleaning and raising a family. This isn’t all white American women of course. Mormons are a strong exception. As are those of recent immigrant families, like of Slavic/Eastern European background. But your basic English/Irish/German heritage American, yeah nobody really wants them for marriage. For sex, absolutely.

I would say these stereotypes exist and are damaging but that the most damaging stereotype of all is that white American women do not value family and community. They will not take care of their elders, they will not forge close family and community ties, and they will not teach their children to forge close family and community ties. And based on how our society generally works, this is kind of true, right?

This is obviously an offensive over generalization but the 2nd paragraph is a perfect fit for so many of the posts and advice on the Family forum on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from one of the "other culture". I believe and have experienced that the culture and environment of a household/family and how the kids are raised is determined primarily by the mother. For this reason, I am ok with my DD marrying a White man, but not my DS marrying a White woman.

LOL. Why haven't you raised your son to be an equal parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a white American woman, and for the last couple years I’ve been dating men from other cultures and really enjoy it.

However, a common theme that pops up within the first few dates is their parents. Often parents have a lot of input on who they marry, and it’s pretty clear they would not approve of me since I’m not from their culture and don’t fit what their parents want (such as not wanting kids, even though many of these guys say they don’t really care about having their own kids, it’s mostly for their parents). One guy I dated even said that he’s never married because he would have to “go to war” with his parents to marry an American woman.

Is it even worth it to keep dating these guys? I know there’s the stereotype that they’ll string you along for months/years then dump you for someone their parents approve of, and I don’t really want to waste my time. But it also feels weird to me to dismiss them, even though the parent thing seems to come up every time.

In my opinion, most of these guys that say they "don't really care" about having kids are probably just saying that to date/sleep with you and will dump you to marry a family-oriented woman from their own culture when the time is right, just as you predicted.

If you are really committed to the whole childfree thing you would be much better off seeking out a progressive white dude who thinks we will all be dead in 20 years due to climate change or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a white American woman, and for the last couple years I’ve been dating men from other cultures and really enjoy it.

However, a common theme that pops up within the first few dates is their parents. Often parents have a lot of input on who they marry, and it’s pretty clear they would not approve of me since I’m not from their culture and don’t fit what their parents want (such as not wanting kids, even though many of these guys say they don’t really care about having their own kids, it’s mostly for their parents). One guy I dated even said that he’s never married because he would have to “go to war” with his parents to marry an American woman.

Is it even worth it to keep dating these guys? I know there’s the stereotype that they’ll string you along for months/years then dump you for someone their parents approve of, and I don’t really want to waste my time. But it also feels weird to me to dismiss them, even though the parent thing seems to come up every time.

In my opinion, most of these guys that say they "don't really care" about having kids are probably just saying that to date/sleep with you and will dump you to marry a family-oriented woman from their own culture when the time is right, just as you predicted.

If you are really committed to the whole childfree thing you would be much better off seeking out a progressive white dude who thinks we will all be dead in 20 years due to climate change or whatever.

This.

OP, are you really unaware of the stereotype amongst many brown people that white women are easy/promiscuous? Many of these guys come to America and Europe with their primary exposure to white women being p0rn. Add this to the fact that fair skin / eyes is still prized in many of these places and you can see why these guys will say anything to get you in bed but never commit.

[Anonymous]

Let's say you marry. It will be h*ll. It will take 2 generations to be free of the bonds of family servitude. Imho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a white American woman, and for the last couple years I’ve been dating men from other cultures and really enjoy it.

However, a common theme that pops up within the first few dates is their parents. Often parents have a lot of input on who they marry, and it’s pretty clear they would not approve of me since I’m not from their culture and don’t fit what their parents want (such as not wanting kids, even though many of these guys say they don’t really care about having their own kids, it’s mostly for their parents). One guy I dated even said that he’s never married because he would have to “go to war” with his parents to marry an American woman.

Is it even worth it to keep dating these guys? I know there’s the stereotype that they’ll string you along for months/years then dump you for someone their parents approve of, and I don’t really want to waste my time. But it also feels weird to me to dismiss them, even though the parent thing seems to come up every time.

Not worth it. They don’t want you. You are a toy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a white American woman, and for the last couple years I’ve been dating men from other cultures and really enjoy it.

However, a common theme that pops up within the first few dates is their parents. Often parents have a lot of input on who they marry, and it’s pretty clear they would not approve of me since I’m not from their culture and don’t fit what their parents want (such as not wanting kids, even though many of these guys say they don’t really care about having their own kids, it’s mostly for their parents). One guy I dated even said that he’s never married because he would have to “go to war” with his parents to marry an American woman.

Is it even worth it to keep dating these guys? I know there’s the stereotype that they’ll string you along for months/years then dump you for someone their parents approve of, and I don’t really want to waste my time. But it also feels weird to me to dismiss them, even though the parent thing seems to come up every time.

I am sorry to tell you this. This is BS. If they want to marry someone most people from other cultures will do it against the will of their parents. They are using their parents as a scapegoat. I know because I am a male from such culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people here are not going to like this, but white American women have probably the lowest market value in the world when it comes to marriage. As many above had said, what is liberal in “other cultures” is conservative here. Pretty much every culture that is still a culture, is by nature, conservative: Family values, religion, gender roles etc. White American women are seen as too feminist/not feminine enough, too promiscuous, and sorry to say, not putting an effort into their appearance and not adept at cooking and cleaning and raising a family. This isn’t all white American women of course. Mormons are a strong exception. As are those of recent immigrant families, like of Slavic/Eastern European background. But your basic English/Irish/German heritage American, yeah nobody really wants them for marriage. For sex, absolutely.

Sure thing. Canada, France, Norway, Sweden, Australia, Finland, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, all those super conservative non-liberal cultures, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people here are not going to like this, but white American women have probably the lowest market value in the world when it comes to marriage. As many above had said, what is liberal in “other cultures” is conservative here. Pretty much every culture that is still a culture, is by nature, conservative: Family values, religion, gender roles etc. White American women are seen as too feminist/not feminine enough, too promiscuous, and sorry to say, not putting an effort into their appearance and not adept at cooking and cleaning and raising a family. This isn’t all white American women of course. Mormons are a strong exception. As are those of recent immigrant families, like of Slavic/Eastern European background. But your basic English/Irish/German heritage American, yeah nobody really wants them for marriage. For sex, absolutely.

I would say these stereotypes exist and are damaging but that the most damaging stereotype of all is that white American women do not value family and community. They will not take care of their elders, they will not forge close family and community ties, and they will not teach their children to forge close family and community ties. And based on how our society generally works, this is kind of true, right?

"our society"

yeah right absolutely, "ours"