Am I delusional?
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Anonymous
Does it have to do with whether the younger kids are pressured to start dating early and/or experience bullying from the social media apps/ dances? Just trying to think of examples but wanted to clarify |
Anonymous
The younger are trying to socially keep up. Some pushed back on their parents for the device/app/whatever because the bulk of their peers had it. Some want the same freedom moving around the city. Some of it is dating. It manifests differently for every kid. For the boys I see disparity in executive function— there is about a 14 month age range in the grade. |
Anonymous
From another thread.
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Anonymous
What changes if you get a good lottery number for middle school? And do you happen to know if screened programs at Wagner/Baruch are lottery if you get decent grades in 4th? |
Anonymous
Access to phones and social media has almost nothing to do with chronological age. By the time they get to that age, things have largely evened out. |
Anonymous
This is D2-specific - since that includes the UES - but if you’re in the top 1/4-1/3 or so you’d have a strong likelihood of getting into one of the schools of choice like Salk/Lab/ESMS/Clinton. For the screened programs, GPA matters more than lottery number - 4.0 with a terrible number beats a 3.75 with a fantastic one - but in practice I think like 80% of the kids who rank one of them and don’t get in somewhere that they ranked higher get in, at least if you go by the data on MySchools. So it’s more that they exclude kids with bad grades than that they only take kids with very good grades. |
Anonymous
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This is a tough experience for parents. Ask me how I know. And one can feel betrayed by a school that reveals this late in the year.
The PSD can effectively blackball your family in admissions and may be speaking to you in jargon or code that parents don’t know. Again, ask me how I know. I don’t know if this still happens but a TT school can admit a young K applicant but strongly suggest that he/she be placed in preK not K. Good luck! |
Anonymous
My kid was younger and it was very noticeable in the early years. There were some kids that were a good 9 or 10 months older and there were definitely differences in executive function. I found it very frustrating but it seemed to even out around 2nd or 3rd grade. In 8th grade I don't think you can tell the difference. My kid didn't get a phone until much later than the other kids but it had nothing to do with age. Most of the kids got phones in 5th grade. Mine had a watch for many years and now has a kid phone (Bark, Gabb) with no internet and social media. I think with phones and social media it has less to do with age and more to do individual family policies. I do anticipate as we head into high school age may factor in more when we're dealing with things like curfews and maybe dating. |
Anonymous
So frustrating. Where did your DC end up? |
Anonymous
OP here - this is how it feels to me, like they're saying things about my kid that I don't really understand or see when I'm with her. My most uncharitable view is that they have some kind of handshake with the progressive schools to route a few kids their way (my spouse thinks I'm being paranoid but this is where we are). |
Anonymous
| What I didn't expect being at a TT girls' school was just how much the culture of places like the Knickerbocker club influence the social life. Starting in Fifth grade, there are all these clubs and dances, and the girls are desperate to get invites to them, and then spend all their time talking about clothes and hair, etc. I had no idea this culture still existed and it took me by surprise. I went to a girls school out west, and it was a great place for tomboys and athletes, but the UES girls' schools are not. |
Anonymous
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Having gone through the private school process, here is my take. Many private pre-K teachers/providers are really focusing on what is best for your child and a good fit. They know the current state of the schools and what kids they are accepting at the moment and usually they want the best for your child so they can be happy.
On the metrics end, June birthdays are difficult. From what I see, not many summer birthdays are accepted because of maturity reasons. The unhooked summer girls accepted are really advanced social-emotionally. The field was really competitive this year and I imagine they are projecting the same competitiveness next year. Academics are just one piece of the puzzle. Applicants with over the top intelligence are often declined because they just aren't there socially or perceived to cause problems/chaos in class. Schools want to be able to teach a class without too much disruption. They build out a class with some leaders, some quiet introverts, and kids who can go along with the flow. The pre-K teachers see your children in the school setting and if children are acting a certain way in pre-K, they are probably going to act the same way in K. A child's personality is who they are and no teacher is going to want to force them to change who they are to fit the current need for admissions that year. Note that if the child is not a good fit for the school, you will soon find out with endless meetings and counseling. In a sense, the pre-K matching system helps to navigate this in advance so you have the right school for your child to hopefully maximize what your child has to offer at the moment (happiness, academic, well-being). This is a marathon and you can always change lanes later if opportunities open up and getting allies (teachers, mentors, afterschools) behind you to step up to the hurdle is key. |
Anonymous
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Where DC ended up: NYC parent here. We were lucky enough to land in downtown schools instead of UES. My perception is it was a kinder, gentler experience. DC still got into TT colleges.
I realized the PS was right but awful, late, lacking, and confusing in delivering the message. Also what the ongoing school will see on PS visits will be what they see in school more than what a parent sees at home. Also the PSD may barely enter the classroom but won’t, or at least didn’t, overrule the far more inexperienced classroom teacher. There is a lot to be said for veteran teachers for ages 2-6. But I understand not changing for the 4s year. This will work out but your PSD will stick. Pretend to consider her suggestions. Be very agreeable. This goes into the school report. ( we saw ours afterward.) network for schools others like. Solicit the PSD’s suggestions for any supports, enrichment she suggests. |
Anonymous
early June- wait another year, looking back, it really hurt our dd to not insist on this. |
Anonymous
| Did the school discuss redshirting at all with you? This feels like the sort of feedback they give to a younger child they think isn’t ready, so surprised if they weren’t direct. “We think your child would benefit from another year, but if you insist on moving on go somewhere less rigorous and nurturing” |