Intimacy with an ex-spouse - is it weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

He had an affair, dated her, and then ended things because of her issues. We already had a major conflict before the affair, so that was just the breaking point. After that, we were both done. He’s said he wants to be remarried.

The guy sounds like a user. He used you while you were married and now he's using you again. Good for him, I guess? Not good for you. Maybe ask yourself why you're willing to do this. To me, it reeks of desperation (you just want to feel like he still loves you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

He had an affair, dated her, and then ended things because of her issues. We already had a major conflict before the affair, so that was just the breaking point. After that, we were both done. He’s said he wants to be remarried.

Remarried to you?

Yes.

NP. Do you feel the same?

Yes, I’ll consider it.

Do you have low self esteem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to sleep with your ex husband, why bother getting divorced?

Honestly, not having to sleep my husband is one of the biggest benefits of getting divorced. I can’t imagine giving up half my assets, and dealing with custody of the kids only to still have to have sex with an ex. Like WHY?

You have the worst of all worlds.

I mean sex wasn’t really the main point of our marriage, and when we we’re married enjoyed it, so ur didn’t feel like a chore. Though we are super compatible sexually, and we can get along and be friends. We still have love for each other, even though we couldn’t stay married at the time. We don’t have resentment for towards each other, and just view sex as something we do to, that benefits both of us, to keep our connection. That was registered as being done by weird people, by the podcast host and viewers, and I didn’t get it.

Ma'am I have a bridge to sell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to sleep with your ex husband, why bother getting divorced?

Honestly, not having to sleep my husband is one of the biggest benefits of getting divorced. I can’t imagine giving up half my assets, and dealing with custody of the kids only to still have to have sex with an ex. Like WHY?

You have the worst of all worlds.

I mean sex wasn’t really the main point of our marriage, and when we we’re married enjoyed it, so ur didn’t feel like a chore. Though we are super compatible sexually, and we can get along and be friends. We still have love for each other, even though we couldn’t stay married at the time. We don’t have resentment for towards each other, and just view sex as something we do to, that benefits both of us, to keep our connection. That was registered as being done by weird people, by the podcast host and viewers, and I didn’t get it.

It makes absolutely no sense while you’re divorced; you should’ve stayed married.

Your poor child. You put him through a divorce only for the two of you to f*@& around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious why you're divorced if you get along well enough to continue having sex with some regularity. Or is it that given neither of you are in other relationships, you serve as placeholders for sex in each other's lives?

He had an affair, dated her, and then ended things because of her issues. We already had a major conflict before the affair, so that was just the breaking point. After that, we were both done. He’s said he wants to be remarried.

The guy sounds like a user. He used you while you were married and now he's using you again. Good for him, I guess? Not good for you. Maybe ask yourself why you're willing to do this. To me, it reeks of desperation (you just want to feel like he still loves you).

This. Not sleeping with your ex is not a moral thing. Your ex is a manipulative abuser, and you don't see it and you are willing to accept that (several times a month). Please see a therapist and figure out why you don't want or can't create more for yourself.

If I was dating you, and I knew this about you, being in a relationship with you would be an absolute no for me because it is clear you have low self-esteem and no sense of boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do you.

Or him

[Anonymous]

Inconsistent details from OP, smells fake.

[Anonymous]

yes, this is super weird. You're divorced and date other people but still hook up.

[Anonymous]

I have never, EVER wanted to sleep with an ex I was in a long term relationship with. Blech!

[Anonymous]

I mean, if you divorced them, you cant stand their guts, so I have no idea how sexual/physical attraction is there

[Anonymous]

Sounds very dysfunctional but there are many examples of people getting remarried to each other after the divorce. Sometimes 3 times. What is very icky about it is you both dating other people at the same time as sleeping with each other. Can't grown ups just be honest and not sleep around like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband and I have been divorced for about seven years, but we’ve still been intimate occasionally over that time. I recently came across a discussion online where a lot of people were saying this kind of situation is weird or unhealthy, which made me pause.

Curious what others think—if both people on the same page, is this actually a problem, or just one of those things people judge more harshly than they should?

Troll

You’re just fantasizing about tv shows and Jon Hamm now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if you divorced them, you cant stand their guts, so I have no idea how sexual/physical attraction is there

Agree.

[Anonymous]

There’s a somewhat recent podcast with Esther Perel on this exact topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never, EVER wanted to sleep with an ex I was in a long term relationship with. Blech!

I have, but the plan was always to treat them like a sex toy.