How often do you tell your children no when it comes to affection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid would come in and want extra snuggles and I was exhausted (so, not often at all), I'd say that I'm very tired and ask him to tuck ME in. That works great.

Your story sounds a bit off. Either you are not getting the full story or the mom in question has serious issues.

This is OP. I’ve seen her do it
Kid comes home from school:”can I have a hug”
Mom: “no, you’re really needy. I feel like you’re not giving me space”

Yikes! There’s a big difference between “I had a tough day and need some downtime, let’s plan to snuggle later” and “you specifically are excessively needy, so I am withholding affection to teach you a lesson.”

I basically have only said no when it’s the 17th request for a hug at bedtime or when I’m obviously doing something (making dinner, etc) that requires use of my hands.

I’m lucky that in my current job I almost always have at least 30 mins between finishing work and being “on” for my kids. Ime, it’s better to leave that at aftercare a little longer and have some self downtime so I’m able to be present w their post school needs vs picking up earlier and feeling grouchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these replies are crazy. I teach my kids especially my boys consent from an early age and that there are different types of affection and affection needs. Giving when I don’t have just would breed resentment on my part.

They can learn about consent from many but they can only get unconditional love from a few. You have placed your paranoia above your obligation to love and nurture your children.

Love doesn't mean they own my body. Another lesson i want them to learn

I assure you, they won’t grow up and think they own your body. You are prone to extremes in thinking aren’t you.