Venmo/Zelle requests on wedding invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years ago I would have really gotten upset and muttered endlessly about it being tacky. I think now I'm just beaten down and tired. If the young people would rather have money via Zelle than serving spoons, who am I to judge? I'm going through a nasty divorce and my heart breaks looking at some of the things that people lovingly chose for us. It's all just meaningless in the end, so you might as well give them cash so they can choose their own meaningless stuff.

That's what Asian people give at wedding, CASH !!! Average is $400 per couple.

Ironically you're replying to me and I married into an Asian family and oddly so many of our guests on that side of the family didn't give us anything. Maybe because I'm white so they couldn't decide on what tradition to follow? I've never figured it out. But at least I don't have to feel mad at his side of the family because there aren't any gifts to look at or give away from them and we've spent or saved what they did give us.

Maybe the money was given to the parents who were undoubtedly footing the bill. In my own South Asian DC's wedding, we paid for everything (and I mean every.single.thing) - and also gave the checks written out to us by our friends to the newlyweds. Our friends told us that if the newlyweds had not even spent a single cent - then we should have kept the money to offset the cost of the wedding. We did not do that because we did not need the money. But, traditionally, family gives the money to the parents to offset the cost of money or they pay for something.

What a tacky tradition.

[Anonymous]

A typical Asian wedding in my family usually goes like this:

- Parents give a cash gift of around 50K,
- brothers and sisters give a cash gift of 10K,
- Aunts & Uncles give around 25K,
- Cousins give around 10K,
- Friends of parents, aunts, or uncles give around $500 per couple. It is a way of paying back what my parents gave their children at their weddings,

After all expenses are paid for, the newly married couple should have a 100K in profit to start their new journey together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A typical Asian wedding in my family usually goes like this:

- Parents give a cash gift of around 50K,
- brothers and sisters give a cash gift of 10K,
- Aunts & Uncles give around 25K,
- Cousins give around 10K,
- Friends of parents, aunts, or uncles give around $500 per couple. It is a way of paying back what my parents gave their children at their weddings,

After all expenses are paid for, the newly married couple should have a 100K in profit to start their new journey together.

Parents give you 50k then move with you.😄

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t bother me at all. I like it more than trying to pick off of a registry.

[Anonymous]

Just spend less on the wedding.

I don't understand people who want to spend absurd amounts on a one-night party, and then want a "honeyfund."

[Anonymous]

Venmo/zelle is tacky because all your need is a phone number or email to send someone money, just like all you need is a physical address to mail a check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Venmo is astonishingly tacky.

A lot of people do electronic invites now though so I’ll give that a pass.

"Give a pass" is an auto-antonym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?

What Jewish tradition? In the shtetl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A typical Asian wedding in my family usually goes like this:

- Parents give a cash gift of around 50K,
- brothers and sisters give a cash gift of 10K,
- Aunts & Uncles give around 25K,
- Cousins give around 10K,
- Friends of parents, aunts, or uncles give around $500 per couple. It is a way of paying back what my parents gave their children at their weddings,

After all expenses are paid for, the newly married couple should have a 100K in profit to start their new journey together.

Parents give you 50k then move with you.😄

Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?

What Jewish tradition? In the shtetl?

The south Asian poster actually spelled it out. People think the NY tradition of paying for your plate is tacky too.

[Anonymous]

ITT people who don't understand that "manners" are used to obscure an embarrassing underlying reality..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Electronic invitations are fine. 45,47 ruined USPS.

This is an excellent point. I have dozens of pieces of mail that I know have been lost with USPS this year and it is infuriating. I know avoid it like the plague and will use UPS/FedEx if I HAVE to mail something.

[Anonymous]

For the people who think it is tacky, what are you buying for wedding presents? I know of a few 20-30 age couples getting married, and none have wedding registries. They don’t want china, silver, crystal vases. They all had the link. I loved it since I sit her in my 50’s with a cabinet full of stuff from my wedding I have never used.