ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

[Anonymous]

You should cook more food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

You’re absolutely ridiculous. Just FYI.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

She is stingy and rude, not sure how else you could play it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you're making enough food of everyone is fighting for it. Make more food or tell them before hand don't bring Tupperware as we're eating ALL the leftovers the next day.

OP here. There is enough for a full, multi-plate dinner; a full, multi-plate dinner the next day; turkey sandwiches; and then DH and I want anything else to stay in our home for us to enjoy, as we were the ones who bought all the food and cooked every dish.

If ILs want another meal of it, they should be making it at home, themselves. They are able-bodied, cook for themselves, and have enough money to feed themselves whatever they like.

We’re taking others’ advice and DH will be telling them ahead of time that everyone will have enough for the visit, but if there’s any leftovers after the visit, we are keeping them.

Your in-laws seem thoughtless and selfish.

However, the bolded statements on your post also suggest that you are not very generous.

Making a full turkey and all the sides is a lot of work that an elderly couple is just not going to do. Even if they are rich.

To me it feels like you're missing a bit of holiday spirit.

With my own family, I had to learn that my brother-in-law expects people to bring something for the holidays at his house. It's part of his family's culture. We're well off and he's well off. $20 worth of something, even $100 of something, doesn't matter to either of us. After my sister explained that small brought items made him happy we did all sorts of things to cater to that. My sister and I didn't care between us. So it was all to keep BIL happy.

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They definitely sound rude and I agree with telling them that the leftovers will be served during the visit. It can be tricky to time Thanksgiving dinner, but if a slightly larger turkey wouldn't inconvenience you, I would probably cook a larger bird and peel a few extra potatoes for mashed potatoes. I would send them home with turkey, mashed potatoes, and a can of cranberry sauce.

So you’d reward selfish, childish bad behavior in two grown people? Nah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you're making enough food of everyone is fighting for it. Make more food or tell them before hand don't bring Tupperware as we're eating ALL the leftovers the next day.

OP here. There is enough for a full, multi-plate dinner; a full, multi-plate dinner the next day; turkey sandwiches; and then DH and I want anything else to stay in our home for us to enjoy, as we were the ones who bought all the food and cooked every dish.

If ILs want another meal of it, they should be making it at home, themselves. They are able-bodied, cook for themselves, and have enough money to feed themselves whatever they like.

We’re taking others’ advice and DH will be telling them ahead of time that everyone will have enough for the visit, but if there’s any leftovers after the visit, we are keeping them.

Aaaaand there it is. You’re being petty. Very petty. The in laws want leftovers. Just buy and make slightly more food and box them up some leftovers. It is ridiculous to make this an issue.

For what it’s worth, every time my parents or ILs host thanksgiving, there is enough for them to keep leftovers AND they send everyone home with leftovers (if they want them). This is not something odd or uncommon that your ILs are looking for.

Aaaand they’re piggish. Aaaaaand the in-laws are ridiculous, and so are you.

[Anonymous]

They're being very rude, OP.

[Anonymous]

They sound awful and yes, husband needs to express the boundaries NOW. But I would also live f-IMG with them. I would get a big cooler or two ready with ice and have them in the garage, basement or even my bedroom and I would scurry away with all the left overs before they could get their grubby hands on them and put them in the cooler. I would also try to suss out where the containers they brought are and I'd take them and never fess up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful and yes, husband needs to express the boundaries NOW. But I would also live f-IMG with them. I would get a big cooler or two ready with ice and have them in the garage, basement or even my bedroom and I would scurry away with all the left overs before they could get their grubby hands on them and put them in the cooler. I would also try to suss out where the containers they brought are and I'd take them and never fess up.

wanting to control how every last bite of food is consumed is not a “boundary.” OP can lighten up. Buy a pizza for day two and send the leftovers home with them. Everything does not have to be as hard as you people make it. Getting in a power struggle over leftovers is not how I want to spend my holiday

[Anonymous]

I can’t even imagine being territorial over any kind of leftover. Fresh food is too much better.

[Anonymous]

I think guests should wait to be offered. If it’s not offered it’s rude to assume it’s ok.
Not sure how you change it at this point though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws do this too! They pounce on leftovers like animals

I'd shut that down the very first time they did that in my home. When you are a guest, you choose to eat from what I put out for you. And then you thank me for it. Which is how I would behave if I were a guest in someone else's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My name is Petty Crocker, and I would be in that kitchen so fast to put everything away before these crazy ILs could take anything. I would serve dessert and then just head back to the kitchen to put everything away. It would be the fastest clean-up on record. Hell, I might even buy a second refrigerator to store them in and have that fridge in a room with a lock.

+10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful and yes, husband needs to express the boundaries NOW. But I would also live f-IMG with them. I would get a big cooler or two ready with ice and have them in the garage, basement or even my bedroom and I would scurry away with all the left overs before they could get their grubby hands on them and put them in the cooler. I would also try to suss out where the containers they brought are and I'd take them and never fess up.

wanting to control how every last bite of food is consumed is not a “boundary.” OP can lighten up. Buy a pizza for day two and send the leftovers home with them. Everything does not have to be as hard as you people make it. Getting in a power struggle over leftovers is not how I want to spend my holiday

But OP shouldn't HAVE to. She's already hosted people for two to three days and fed them all the meals.

[Anonymous]

How hard is it to add an extra 25% to your portions as you prepare food?