Exposing AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“That woman deserves her revenge.” Payback gets a bum rap in this society, but in general I think a betrayed spouse is fully justified in trying to do social and reputational damage to their spouse’s AP. That said, it’s not always the best judgment: sometimes it jeopardizes your financial situation, and other times it creates blowback because people start to think “wow, if their husband/wife was that crazy, i can get why they cheated.” Also, sometimes AP’s spouse is troubled or unstable, and escalation can create some pretty bad scenarios. So you need to be thoughtful about whether, how, and when to seek your revenge.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Wait one or two years. And do something weird.

Ha! Exactly! I let AP think she was off the hook…and struck 2 years later. Blindsided that MoFo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

So naive. Cheaters often have multiple hookups. The AP ain't special.
A few months after my cheating ex left, I got a medical bill from our insurance for Herpes medication. I don't have Herpes and luckily didn't catch it from him, so either AP gave it to him, or one of his other Tinder hookups did, so yeah AP's husband is entitled to know this.

This didn’t happen. Insurance companies don’t send bills on behalf of pharmacies. It’s possible the insurance company sent your husband an EOB that you (illegally) opened. It’s also possible the pharmacy sent your husband a statement that you (illegally) opened.

NP. Agree
Maybe OP meant pharmacy and not insurance company.

When we use our mail order pharmacy they send a receipt along with the medication. Which does include the medication name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“That woman deserves her revenge.” Payback gets a bum rap in this society, but in general I think a betrayed spouse is fully justified in trying to do social and reputational damage to their spouse’s AP. That said, it’s not always the best judgment: sometimes it jeopardizes your financial situation, and other times it creates blowback because people start to think “wow, if their husband/wife was that crazy, i can get why they cheated.” Also, sometimes AP’s spouse is troubled or unstable, and escalation can create some pretty bad scenarios. So you need to be thoughtful about whether, how, and when to seek your revenge.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Wait one or two years. And do something weird.

Ha! Exactly! I let AP think she was off the hook…and struck 2 years later. Blindsided that MoFo.

What did you do ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it could in any way endanger the financial stream that flows to your children, I would not do this. If their relationship becomes public, which she probably wants, everyone will know. Just leave it alone.

100%.

But I did use it as leverage in the divorce negotiations.

How did you use it as a leverage?

I’m the PP. It was a messy situation and I had information. My marriage was over one way or another, so I didn’t care about anything but getting the best settlement for our kids and me. I didn't care what happened to AP. My problem wasn’t with her, but she’d have been collateral damage had we ended up litigating, which was held out as the nuclear option. When XH tried to be cheap, my lawyer did a show and tell for his lawyer, laying out what full discovery would look like.

[Anonymous]

I am about to call his wife, I hope she takes everything that his first wife didn’t take and the kids see him in the light for once. If not, at least she will know the selfish coward she married. Maybe we will become friends.

[Anonymous]

I have certainly had those thoughts but keep in mind that your anger will only come back to hurt you ➕ your child.

In spades.

Focus some of that energy and time into something that will improve your life.
And in the meantime plz invest in some good, old-fashioned therapy before you do something that you will most certainly live to regret.

Trust me on this - - I have been in your shoes before.
Look forward not backward.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

APs are so dangerous. Stay away at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to call his wife, I hope she takes everything that his first wife didn’t take and the kids see him in the light for once. If not, at least she will know the selfish coward she married. Maybe we will become friends.

You are the very definition of selfish.

[Anonymous]

Which is why I have tons of evidence which I could use against her in case she wants to came after me. I think she knows. Stay the f*ck away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:APs are so dangerous. Stay away at all costs.

+1

[Anonymous]

How is this healthy? If someone no longer wants to be with you-that’s that. You get what is owed to both in the divorce and move on. I don’t really get this? Why make it a middle school drama? Move on and be happy. There are so many people in this world. This relationship didn’t work-holding on and making yourself look bad by lashing out does nothing for either party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to call his wife, I hope she takes everything that his first wife didn’t take and the kids see him in the light for once. If not, at least she will know the selfish coward she married. Maybe we will become friends.

You are the very definition of selfish.

I sacrificed everything for my family and found out that being a good man is the first step in being a betrayed man. She has the right to know that her spouse isn’t just coaching kids, he is poaching spouses. That’s not selfish, but me hoping it hurts him might be.

AP’s aren’t dangerous, they aren’t even good enough to date publicly. They are just selfish cowards like our crappy spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APs are so dangerous. Stay away at all costs.

+1

Betrayed wives can be pretty dangerous as well. You best not fk with some of them or pray to god they don’t find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:APs are so dangerous. Stay away at all costs.

+1

Betrayed wives can be pretty dangerous as well. You best not fk with some of them or pray to god they don’t find out.

or better yet know your worth and find someone who actually wants to be with you? You know what really upsets the other person? When the previous spouse is happier without them. instead of turning into a complete psycho-maybe do that instead.

[Anonymous]

Get through your divorce first- get the best deal for you. injecting drama into a legal process not yet wrapped up is going to cost you a lot of money. Here’s how it plays out: Telling people your spouse cheated will give you validation with your family and your besties and that’s about it. For everyone else it likely will be awkward information they don’t want to deal with / wish they didn’t get told about / will use to gossip about them and yes you.