Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go

[Anonymous]

Have you checked the menu? Recently we went out to a restaurant with many seafood dishes and one person in our party hates fish. I made sure to check the menu to see if there were things she could eat (actual likes) and there were several.

[Anonymous]

For me if it is a friend group I'm not super close to and I don't like the restaurant, don't feel like spending the money there, etc, I just say no. If it's friends that I really love being around, I will go and just eat whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My son is anaphylactically allergic to peanuts and some tree nuts and my daughter is allergic to shellfish but is fine with fish. Since her allergy is not anaphylactic, she would be OK with a seafood restaurant. They both speak up clearly when there's a risk they could be served their allergen. You need to insert yourself at the correct time in the discussion, OP, if there is a risk you could end up in the hospital from a poor restaurant choice!!!

There is no reason to get offended. Either you speak up to save your own life; or you accept the restaurant choice because your allergy isn't that bad and you know you'll have other choices on the menu.

But this is on you. I have taught my children this from the time their allergies appeared, when they were little. People, even one's nearest and dearest, will forget. That's normal. It's YOUR job to decide whether you are medically fine with the options.

"Since her allergy is not anaphylactic" is a dangerous thing to believe if you're an allergy mom. That's not how allergies work.

Op should have said she didn't eat at seafood restaurants due to her allergy when multiple options were thrown out. Then if they chose that restaurant anyway, she'd have reason to be offended.

Our group bends over backwards to accommodate the family with allergies, though. It's a nice thing to do and the goal is to be together.

PP you replied to. My kids are 20 and 15. There were times we lived at the allergist's. Don't claim to know my kids' allergies better than me.
In case you didn't know: some allergies are way more severe than others. Some allergies evolve over time, some get better, some get worse, but generally anaphylaxis is a different beast than milder allergies. Unless you have evidence that the allergy is life-threatening, it's OK not to live in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Every seafood restaurant I've been to has non-seafood options.

OP has not stated she'll have an allergic reaction just by being near seafood, so I suspect it's from eating seafood, which can easily be avoided at any seafood restaurant.

Some people stir up drama for no reason.

[Anonymous]

go and order salad with chicken

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you choose a restaurant knowing one of your friends was not comfortable there for a medical reason? Weird.

Right? I can list with perfect accuracy all of not only my friend's allergies but also their preferences. Anyone claiming they don't know their friend swells up like a balloon any time they eat shrimp or nuts is a shitty friend?

So don't order shrimp? Order the chicken, steak, wedge salad, or pork chop. This is so easy to navigate.

At the seafood restaurant? Unlikely there will be that many options.

I have never once in my 56 years on this planet been to a seafood restaurant that didn't offer at least a token non-seafood option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you choose a restaurant knowing one of your friends was not comfortable there for a medical reason? Weird.

Right? I can list with perfect accuracy all of not only my friend's allergies but also their preferences. Anyone claiming they don't know their friend swells up like a balloon any time they eat shrimp or nuts is a shitty friend?

So don't order shrimp? Order the chicken, steak, wedge salad, or pork chop. This is so easy to navigate.

This is a piss poor attitude because there’s always a risk of cross contamination. Perhaps you don’t know someone with severe shellfish allergy. A friend of mine got extremely sick out one night because they cooked her steak on a grill where they had just cooked shrimp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even restaurants that aren't mostly seafood still have seafood and shellfish on the menu so what difference does it make?

I’m sorry, but you have some ignorance on the subject. Some people are so allergic to shellfish that they can’t have any food cooked on the same area. Some people can’t even go to the beach because the sand irritates their skin. I know that sounds insane, but it’s true. Typically restaurants can assure you there will not be cross contamination but for a seafood restaurant like legal seafood they don’t typically have a separate area for cooking meat because that’s not their specialty.

[Anonymous]

OP is taking this way too personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?

OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.

I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.

This is on you for not speaking up OP. Sarah forgot you had to leave a wedding early a few years ago. By not saying something to the group you’re making this a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?

OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.

I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.

But....you are making it all about you?

Reply and say...looking forward to this, thanks to Sarah for organizing us, can we cross X off the list? I'm allergic to shellfish and don't love fish in general.

Expecting people to remember your allergic reaction several years ago and tailor restaurant suggestions years later is making it all about you. Taking offense is making it all about you. Not just speaking up like a normal adult and coming on here to post made up drama is making it all about you.

Exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even restaurants that aren't mostly seafood still have seafood and shellfish on the menu so what difference does it make?

I’m sorry, but you have some ignorance on the subject. Some people are so allergic to shellfish that they can’t have any food cooked on the same area. Some people can’t even go to the beach because the sand irritates their skin. I know that sounds insane, but it’s true. Typically restaurants can assure you there will not be cross contamination but for a seafood restaurant like legal seafood they don’t typically have a separate area for cooking meat because that’s not their specialty.

But those people aren't OP. Who once took a Benadryl and went home early. Have you read the thread? We don't need an allergy lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?

OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.

I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.

Ridiculous main character syndrome here thinking it is deliberate. Several years ago you had to take a Bendryl? Yeah, people won't remember that. You weren't airlifted out by helo to save your life from airborne exposure to save your life or even need an epipen. Drama queen. Order something else.

Proof of shitty people in the world, OP. I agree it's deliberate if she saw you leave an event with a reaction two summers ago. If she can't remember that she either is a drunk/druggie or has a TBI.

This is clearly Main Character OP replying pretending to be someone else.

Im a DP and Jeff can verify. Do you routinely forget about friends having such a violent allergic reaction that they need to take medicine and leave events? Do you have a TBI? Dementia?

This is not a violent allergic reaction and it's pretty disrespectful to those who suffer from severe allergies to imply that it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?

OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.

I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.

It seems like you want it to be deliberate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?

OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.

I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.

Ridiculous main character syndrome here thinking it is deliberate. Several years ago you had to take a Bendryl? Yeah, people won't remember that. You weren't airlifted out by helo to save your life from airborne exposure to save your life or even need an epipen. Drama queen. Order something else.

Proof of shitty people in the world, OP. I agree it's deliberate if she saw you leave an event with a reaction two summers ago. If she can't remember that she either is a drunk/druggie or has a TBI.

This is clearly Main Character OP replying pretending to be someone else.

Im a DP and Jeff can verify. Do you routinely forget about friends having such a violent allergic reaction that they need to take medicine and leave events? Do you have a TBI? Dementia?

Yes (cause I wouldn't consider that a violent reaction) and no.
I have a busy life and can't remember who went home from an event years ago and had to take a Benedryl. I have tons of friends and family. Maybe you have a smaller circle and this would be a dramatic event but if an ambulance wasn't called, I'm likely not filing it in my busy brain.