Hosted a playdate. Kid repeatedly asked dd to open one of her new bday gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

I think it's over the top to say that a kid asking if they can have chips or a cookie is rude. You are well within your rights to say "no, we're having apple slices for snack" but the kid wanting a cookie just makes them a kid who has been given a cookie at a previous playdate and had high hopes. (Or, worst case scenario, the kid was legitimately hungry and is being demonized for being excited about having access to what seemed like unlimited food, but I would hope that OP would be at least somewhat sensitive to that dynamic.)

OP, leaving out a new toy in a box during a playdate and saying that it cannot be played with is a poor choice. If you don't want to play with it, you put it away before guests come over.

Asking for cookies as a fifth snack is rude, no matter how much you try to spin it.
It’s OK to say birthday gifts are off limits.
Again, you “gentle parents” are raising brats.

It truly is not okay to say that the toy you have on display during a playdate is off limits. It's very socially inept, in fact. OP and her daughter could be forgiven for not realizing they'd made that mistake, but by not putting it out of sight after the first request OP demonstrated that, like an upthread PP said, she's not very good at managing children.

Sounds like the kid was asking for cookies as a second snack and kept getting redirected to carrot sticks or whatever instead of just being told "no", which is OP's crappy attempt at . . . gentle parenting!

It truly IS OK to tell a ten year old that another child’s toy is off limits to them.

And 10 is PLENTY old to accept that answer the first time, not the “fourth or fifth time.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

WTF are you playing with 2 ten year old girls? How weird. Let them play without you hovering like they are 4.

DCUM is so weird. You’re bashing her for playing a board game with ten year olds.

Yup. I would have told my mom to take a hike when I was playing with my friends at 10. Parents are beyond weird wanting to act like their kid's best friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How rude is this on a scale of 1-10 (ten being the rudest)?

Or am I overreacting because the kid also continued to ask for snacks after already being offered 4 different items that they ate (specifically asking for chips or a cookie)...

The gift was from the prior weekend and my kid had not yet gotten around to opening the box - which was obvious. Guest child asked four to five times to open it.

Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

Because it’s her gift and she can choose when and where to open it?

Probably had it on display to brag to her friend. What a shit playdate where you can't even play with their toys. That's what preschoolers do.

[Anonymous]

You sound like quite the twat, op

[Anonymous]

Maybe 0-3 if I’m being really generous. I can not imagine being fazed by this.

Could you not firmly say no and put away the toy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe 0-3 if I’m being really generous. I can not imagine being fazed by this.

Could you not firmly say no and put away the toy?

Ok read some of OPs responses. Got it.lol.

[Anonymous]

OP is strange.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn’t have bothered me enough to post about it, but yeah, I’d think that kid is rude and either entitled or manipulative. My dd has ADHD and autism and she would have known better at 10 than to behave that way.

I had one kid over for a play date and after I’d offered him half a dozen different items for snacks, he opened my pantry and started rifling through it. He also climbed up on top of the island in my kitchen. He was only about 7 though. I didn’t get angry about it, but it made me less inclined to invite him over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am more surprised about not opening a gift from prior weekend. How long does it take to open a gift?

Hahaha, this was my first thought too! What kind of parent are you, OP, that you didn't let her open the gift??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

Because it’s her gift and she can choose when and where to open it?

To be clear this was not a wrapped present, correct? This was a toy that had just not been out of the box yet, right?

If so, stop calling it a gift. That really isn't relevant. This was just a toy in the house.

It doesn’t matter. The guest doesn’t dictate what toys are to be played with or not. They can ask once, and when told no should drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

Because it’s her gift and she can choose when and where to open it?

To be clear this was not a wrapped present, correct? This was a toy that had just not been out of the box yet, right?

If so, stop calling it a gift. That really isn't relevant. This was just a toy in the house.

It doesn’t matter. The guest doesn’t dictate what toys are to be played with or not. They can ask once, and when told no should drop it.

Sure or they can ask multiple times and mom will put it away. It’s not a big deal. Unless you don’t want your child to have friends.

[Anonymous]

I have an open pantry policy - help yourself to anything in the bins on the bottom shelf. If a kid came hungry I’d let him/her stuff her face silly on those quasi-healthy snacks. We do host some of those kids and I let my kid practice being host and handling this.

With the gift - seriously you left it out - expect them to ask. If they have even a touch of adhd they will ask multiple times. Just meet them where they are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about her being rude but about you shutting it down. You should have taken the gift and put it away (like in your bedroom closet) for the remainder of the playdate. When the kid kept asking for snacks you should have said "Snacktime is over; now it's time to play." If the kid said "But I'm hungry!" you should have said "You already had an apple with peanut butter, a cheese stick, pretzels and gummy snacks. That's enough for now. You can eat more after your mom picks you up."

+10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal for that kid. Not normal for most kids. Only one kid I know would be that bold and clueless, but his mom usually gives heads up.

It depends on the personality plus what the child has been taught or not taught. Some parents don’t give instructions to their kids when going to someone else’s house because they think their child knows how to act. It’s not all innate.