15 year old quit everything - worried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes a special kind to do crew. It's not surprising he quit scouts. It's a bit babyish. He is approaching adulthood. If those things don't interest him anymore, tell him to get a job. Do more stuff around the house. Tie access to phone and screen time to doing something productive.

This tells me you don’t know Scouts. As kids get older, there are more opportunities that are age appropriate. By 14, Scouts have access to high adventure camps, both local and national. There are 5-10 backpacking trips, 5-10 canoing trips, scuba diving, sailing, dog mushing and other activities. If a Scout is interested, they should bring it to the attention of their SPL and Scoutmaster and see if there are other kids interested and start planning. Our Troop goes caving, climbing, backpacking, canoeing and white water rafting on top of the regular camp outs. One Scout planned a deep sea fishing camp out, with regular fishing for people who didn’t want to pay the cost for deep sea fishing. Scouts is what the Scouts make of it.

Older Scouts should be responsible for planning meetings, planning campouts, and running the Troop with adult supervision. Or they can join a Venture crew, you can start at 14, where Scouts are out doing high adventure prep.

It is not for everyone but the program is not “babyish.” If it is, your kid is in the wrong Troop.

Thanks for saying this. I know scouts is not for everyone but - but what my son does is not baby-ish at all. Lots of adventures and leading young kids.

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP is a troll, or maybe she is overly fixated on things like college and activities and missing the big picture.

For me, the fact that he is already in therapy but refuses to speak to the therapist is a bright, red, billowing flag. That suggests something is really off.

OP has put the kid in really demanding activities (e.g. crew) and doesn't seem to understand why this is off-putting. This tells me a lot of things might be broken in their household.

[Anonymous]

The kid is struggling. The question is "why?"

Addressing this has to be done in a non-judgmental way as there could be a myriad of reasons why.

Reach out to the school counselor to see if you can get insights on what is going on socially and academically with your child.

Is there a history of depression or mental health concerns in the family?

Ask your kid why he quit all of these activities. For example, he may have felt overscheduled and unable to address this with you and so just quit everything all at once. It could be bullying or have some social component affiliated with the activities. Or something else entirely.

Once you have some helpful insights from your son or other adults around him, the path forward may become more apparent.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes a special kind to do crew. It's not surprising he quit scouts. It's a bit babyish. He is approaching adulthood. If those things don't interest him anymore, tell him to get a job. Do more stuff around the house. Tie access to phone and screen time to doing something productive.

This tells me you don’t know Scouts. As kids get older, there are more opportunities that are age appropriate. By 14, Scouts have access to high adventure camps, both local and national. There are 5-10 backpacking trips, 5-10 canoing trips, scuba diving, sailing, dog mushing and other activities. If a Scout is interested, they should bring it to the attention of their SPL and Scoutmaster and see if there are other kids interested and start planning. Our Troop goes caving, climbing, backpacking, canoeing and white water rafting on top of the regular camp outs. One Scout planned a deep sea fishing camp out, with regular fishing for people who didn’t want to pay the cost for deep sea fishing. Scouts is what the Scouts make of it.

Older Scouts should be responsible for planning meetings, planning campouts, and running the Troop with adult supervision. Or they can join a Venture crew, you can start at 14, where Scouts are out doing high adventure prep.

It is not for everyone but the program is not “babyish.” If it is, your kid is in the wrong Troop.

Thanks for saying this. I know scouts is not for everyone but - but what my son does is not baby-ish at all. Lots of adventures and leading young kids.

+1 I agree - Scouts is anything but babyish. Hello, Eagle Scout anyone?

[Anonymous]

My aspergers daughter tries to quit everything as well. Lots of defiance disorder, a negative cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone else gone through this? DC already sees a therapist but refuses to talk or engage with the doc and just sits giving one word answers.

OP get a better therapist. While you're looking, set screen limits and look for evidence of drug use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes a special kind to do crew. It's not surprising he quit scouts. It's a bit babyish. He is approaching adulthood. If those things don't interest him anymore, tell him to get a job. Do more stuff around the house. Tie access to phone and screen time to doing something productive.

This tells me you don’t know Scouts. As kids get older, there are more opportunities that are age appropriate. By 14, Scouts have access to high adventure camps, both local and national. There are 5-10 backpacking trips, 5-10 canoing trips, scuba diving, sailing, dog mushing and other activities. If a Scout is interested, they should bring it to the attention of their SPL and Scoutmaster and see if there are other kids interested and start planning. Our Troop goes caving, climbing, backpacking, canoeing and white water rafting on top of the regular camp outs. One Scout planned a deep sea fishing camp out, with regular fishing for people who didn’t want to pay the cost for deep sea fishing. Scouts is what the Scouts make of it.

Older Scouts should be responsible for planning meetings, planning campouts, and running the Troop with adult supervision. Or they can join a Venture crew, you can start at 14, where Scouts are out doing high adventure prep.

It is not for everyone but the program is not “babyish.” If it is, your kid is in the wrong Troop.

Thanks for saying this. I know scouts is not for everyone but - but what my son does is not baby-ish at all. Lots of adventures and leading young kids.

+3 When a scout drops out in 10th grade it can be a red flag that they weren't maturing fast enough to handle the more adult activities and responsibilities, or that something is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen sophomore literally does nothing and I am concerned. They used to play sports, play an instrument, do scouting, and do theater/acting, and enjoyed them all. Normal happy well rounded teen. This year they have stopped doing all of it. Quit sports after we spent $1000 on a club team - just refused to go and we aren’t in the position to physically force them. Quit the instrument and refuses to play or go. Quit scouts saying it’s not fun anymore. And no longer wants to audition for any theater or acting programs or projects.

My kid has become a quitter.

I wish I could say they are focusing on schoolwork but they are getting Bs and Cs and an occasional D or F.

All they want to do is sit around, play videogames in the computer, eat, and watch TV.

I am very concerned about their mental health and well being - even though they seem perfectly content and happy doing nothing. I am worried about college admissions. I don’t want an adult sloth freeloading and loafing around but at this rate they won’t get into college.

Has anyone else gone through this? DC already sees a therapist but refuses to talk or engage with the doc and just sits giving one word answers.

Stop using they/them when you mean he/she. It's annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aspergers daughter tries to quit everything as well. Lots of defiance disorder, a negative cope.

+1000

ESPECIALLY for teens with ADHD/ASD, but really any teen, parents NEED to push their kids past their limits. And make sure that they commit to a sport/an arts activity, because otherwise, an autistic teen will have PDA and defiance disorder and end up unemployed as an adult.

[Anonymous]

I recommend the book “Hold on to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld. Hug your kids, spend time with them, show them you love them. The most important thing is to maintain a relationship so they can open up to you.

[Anonymous]

Where is the father in this scenario? Sounds like a poor role model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen sophomore literally does nothing and I am concerned. They used to play sports, play an instrument, do scouting, and do theater/acting, and enjoyed them all. Normal happy well rounded teen. This year they have stopped doing all of it. Quit sports after we spent $1000 on a club team - just refused to go and we aren’t in the position to physically force them. Quit the instrument and refuses to play or go. Quit scouts saying it’s not fun anymore. And no longer wants to audition for any theater or acting programs or projects.

My kid has become a quitter.

I wish I could say they are focusing on schoolwork but they are getting Bs and Cs and an occasional D or F.

All they want to do is sit around, play videogames in the computer, eat, and watch TV.

I am very concerned about their mental health and well being - even though they seem perfectly content and happy doing nothing. I am worried about college admissions. I don’t want an adult sloth freeloading and loafing around but at this rate they won’t get into college.

Has anyone else gone through this? DC already sees a therapist but refuses to talk or engage with the doc and just sits giving one word answers.

millennials and gen z/alpha in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

Re Scouts. My son quit scouts this year as a 14 year old because of problems with cliques, bullying, drug use amongst troop members, vaping, etc. He wasn’t OK with being teased for not engaging in those activities. So as far as troops go, not every one is great. Multiple boys kicked out for drug and alcohol use, vandalism, bullying. Was really a shame. Huge troop and leaders turned a blind eye bc it was their own kids were the ones doing the bullying. And the troop and BSA rules require adults to be separated from the boys on camping trips. In a completely different camp. So there was ZERO adult supervision with several teen boys hanging out together - lots of the flies.

[Anonymous]

PP. I meant to write “Lord of the Flies” situations were happening every camp out.