Household Rules when Family Visits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

NP. Yes, this was the sole time I was spanked as a child—after crossing the street at age 2 or 3 to see my friend on the other side. I think it was warranted—I obviously didn’t/couldn’t grasp intellectually that it was dangerous, but I didn’t like the spanking and never did that again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

This is why responsible parents supervise two year olds near streets. They don’t hit the two year old because the parent was inattentive…

[Anonymous]

Spanking is a much more common form of discipline with certain ethnic groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

And hitting the kid got thru to them that running into the street was wrong?!?!?! I highly doubt that.

Talk to your 2 year old, and if you have a wild child (yes I have 2 boys and 1 girl so I've had that), your job as a parent is to keep them from doing that or don't put yourself in that situation. But hitting certainly is not the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

This is why responsible parents supervise two year olds near streets. They don’t hit the two year old because the parent was inattentive…

+1000

And if you have a runner/2 yo who wont listen, using a Harness/leash is a very viable solution when in busy crowded spaces. The goal is to keep them from getting injured, and if they won't listen and /or you cannot manage them safely, then find tools to assist with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

This is why responsible parents supervise two year olds near streets. They don’t hit the two year old because the parent was inattentive…

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP MYOB.
Your husband should talk to his brother.

Anyways, No pets are allowed in our home or overnight guests.

Um, literally anything happening in OP's house IS her business. Do you get that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve spanked my kids. But it was always something where we’d go to a room to have a talk first. It wouldn’t be out in the open, and very unlikely while visiting relatives.

Justify beating your kids all you want, loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve spanked my kids. But it was always something where we’d go to a room to have a talk first. It wouldn’t be out in the open, and very unlikely while visiting relatives.

If you have a talk first, why do you need to spank? Do you say “Larlo- taking your sister’s milk was wrong, now I am going to physically assault you while you cry”?

Wtf. Who on this earth thinks spanking is ok- who has not read the science that it harms children?! I could never, ever lay a hand on my child or anyone unless I was acting in self defense while being attacked by an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound too controlling to have guests, pay for their hotel room.

What?! You’re nuts! I have a not hitting house rule. I still don’t understand how hitting one’s children is different from assault - it’s assault! If someone did that to me, I’d call the cops - but somehow it’s ok to do this to defenseless impressionable children in the name of discipline. So f-ed up.

OP - your house, your rules. If no hitting or assault is one of your rules, then it applies to your guests. I would have corrected it on the spot!

[Anonymous]

I spanked my kid on vacation in front of my sister. He was ignoring me and being super wild, and he's 6 so he's old enough to know better. I was frustrated. I apologized to my sister after, but she was just like "he needed that" lol. I wouldn't have done it in front of other kids who aren't mine though.

I'm the type to say sorry after spanking, because I don't think it's effective parenting, and I try not to do it.

[Anonymous]

If your adult relative cannot manage his emotions when visiting you, don’t extend another invitation.

It’s your house. You can invite whoever you want and discontinue invitations for whomever you want.

[Anonymous]

If you have a household rule of no hitting then what do you do when a relative's kids hit, slap and physically push each other around while in your home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would never occur to me that a guest would spank.

Shoes off is a rule we have for immediate family and children but don't hold adult guests to, especially elderly ones.

One controversial rule I do uphold is no cellphones at the dining table or during meals, except if someone needs to keep it in their pocket to be able to answer a call like an on-call doctor or someone waiting for communication from a babysitter. I sometimes let people know as we are sitting down, but thankfully only need to enforce it with my adult siblings who are phone addicted.

I'm with you on this one, though it's sad that's considered controversial. Who are the biggest critics of it, the kids, parents, or grandparents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family can’t spank my kids, but who am I to tell them how to raise their kids? We don’t spank, but I don’t think traditional spanking is abuse.

Well there is the issue. It is abuse. No child should ever be hit. If they did something wrong, have a discussion with them, put them in a time out, but hitting them is never going to be the solution to the issue (other than teaching them when you cannot control your emotions it is okay to hit others and I doubt that was the message you were aiming for)

Yeah, kids that try to run into the street when they're two. They respond really well to your discussion.

This is why responsible parents supervise two year olds near streets. They don’t hit the two year old because the parent was inattentive…

+1000

And if you have a runner/2 yo who wont listen, using a Harness/leash is a very viable solution when in busy crowded spaces. The goal is to keep them from getting injured, and if they won't listen and /or you cannot manage them safely, then find tools to assist with that.

That's what I do to keep my nearly 3 yo DC from running into the street. We have a nice maple in our front yard, so I just tie him to that. There's plenty of shade in the summer.