DS doesn’t want to marry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS (16) has recently expressed that he doesn’t want to ever get in a relationship or get married. This is deeply disturbing. Should I put him in therapy?

He could be an incel. Are there any signs of him possibly being an incel, OP? Does he spend too much time on the internet?

[Anonymous]

Its the porn the young teen watch that scares them.

They feel that they cannot measure up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably witnessed too much dysfunction and unhappiness between you and your spouse to never want to get married.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS (16) has recently expressed that he doesn’t want to ever get in a relationship or get married. This is deeply disturbing. Should I put him in therapy?

Therapy? That would likely make him even more black pilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS (16) has recently expressed that he doesn’t want to ever get in a relationship or get married. This is deeply disturbing. Should I put him in therapy?

To pray the gay away ?

[Anonymous]

If I could go back to my teenage self and get a retry at life, I wouldn't want to get married either. Relationship, sure.

[Anonymous]

Tell your son to quit reading DCUM Relationships, that's what's making him conclude women are awful and marriage is a terrible deal for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS (16) has recently expressed that he doesn’t want to ever get in a relationship or get married. This is deeply disturbing. Should I put him in therapy?

He could be an incel. Are there any signs of him possibly being an incel, OP? Does he spend too much time on the internet?

OP, you really need to watch the NetFlix series “Adolescence,” to get educated on teen boys who think this way. He could be started down a extremely dangerous rabbit hole to incel doom.

[Anonymous]

Sixteen is so young. He's still learning about who he is and what he wants from life. A lot can change in the next 10 or so years from late adolescence through young adulthood. He says it and means it now, which is fine for now. Who knows whether that will still be the case for the rest of his life.

I wouldn't find the statement particularly disturbing unless either: he is strongly bothered by his lack of romantic experience/connections or he treats others badly (such as constantly putting down people who do date/have relationships or doing/saying sexist nonsense to girls).

[Anonymous]

The OP reacted with judgement and worry, rather than curiosity.

Why not ask why they feel this way, in a non-judgmental tone. You might learn something about their world views, personal desires or future plans. And at 16, that is likely to change over time. But it’s not a bad idea to start getting to know you your child now rather than focusing on a far off future.

If you have a productive conversation, you might get asked why you feel marriage has been beneficial in your life. Be wise, answer gently and kindly.

[Anonymous]

My almost 13 year old has said for years she never wants to marry or have children. She worries about the environment and wants a small apartment and doesn’t want to have to factor in someone else’s needs. Who knows what the future holds, but when she asked “Am I weird if I never want to date?” I said “there are lots of wonderful ways to have good relationships with people and they don’t have to be romantic.” (My 8 year old, meanwhile, has never seen a princess love story she’s not into and wants 30 children lol)