Travel Sports - "They Love It"

[Anonymous]

Softball tournaments are like 6-7 per spring and per fall. Even the local-ish ones suck up the better part of both weekend days. It's hard to do any sort of family weekend travel, meals out, hosting friends/family, doing fun activities like wineries or museums, etc. Rec softball and HS softball are roughly 2 games a week, 90 minutes each. Huge difference.

THE SECOND my kid made her HS team, I was DONE with travel sports. And frankly I'm not sure my other child will ever quite forget how much "family time" was dedicated to softball. It just wasn't fair to her. She has almost a visceral groan every time the subject even comes up. We supported her activity (dance) and attended all of her performances but there was no travel involved for her and performances are less frequent and less time consuming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been our first year of a club sport that requires some amount of travel and weekend tournament out of town. My child wanted to play a sport beyond rec and travel was the only real option. It was her idea not ours and we figured a year of playing and practicing year round would certainly show just how much they liked the sport.

I have never understood the assumption with a lot of kids sports, especially when the sport gets to the point of being a major time and lifestyle commitment, that parents are forcing them to do it. I hear this on the swim board when discussion of early morning practice come up. "That is child abuse. I can't believe people force their kids to do that." Believe me if my kid complained or had to be dragged out of bed I certainly would not be pushing them to continue because I sure as hell don't want to be getting up at that hour to drive them.

Same goes for travel sports. They are a huge financial and time commitment. I can't imagine most kids are being forced into them. My kid approached me about paying travel. I am sure some kids are pushed by their parent, but I would bet that is the exception more than the norm.

I don't really see anyone saying the kid is forced. I get that the kid wants to do it. What many of us are saying is that it's too much of a drain on family time. I'm shocked how many parents are happily spending so much time away from their spouse and other child(ren). I like my spouse and other child too much for that.

So don’t do it. What’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been our first year of a club sport that requires some amount of travel and weekend tournament out of town. My child wanted to play a sport beyond rec and travel was the only real option. It was her idea not ours and we figured a year of playing and practicing year round would certainly show just how much they liked the sport.

I have never understood the assumption with a lot of kids sports, especially when the sport gets to the point of being a major time and lifestyle commitment, that parents are forcing them to do it. I hear this on the swim board when discussion of early morning practice come up. "That is child abuse. I can't believe people force their kids to do that." Believe me if my kid complained or had to be dragged out of bed I certainly would not be pushing them to continue because I sure as hell don't want to be getting up at that hour to drive them.

Same goes for travel sports. They are a huge financial and time commitment. I can't imagine most kids are being forced into them. My kid approached me about paying travel. I am sure some kids are pushed by their parent, but I would bet that is the exception more than the norm.

I don't really see anyone saying the kid is forced. I get that the kid wants to do it. What many of us are saying is that it's too much of a drain on family time. I'm shocked how many parents are happily spending so much time away from their spouse and other child(ren). I like my spouse and other child too much for that.

NP: one of my kids has an out of town tournament around one weekend per month (for about 8 or 9 months of the year). It has been fine. DH and I take turns taking him to the tournaments while the other stays here with our other kid. Occasionally we all go. We still have plenty of family time together.

Nope, if you ever do anything one on one for just one of your kids, it clearly means you don’t like your spouse and other kids. PP is a superior spouse and a superior parent because she makes sure her family sits around the living room staring at each other every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have played some travel sports, but we have intentionally limited them because they are so expensive and miserable for the parents and siblings. But my kids always really really loved when they were the one competing in the tournaments.

It’s so miserable. We held off for a long,long time but then she picked volleyball. We found a club with limited travel but even local tournament weekends are brutal. Why can’t we just go down the street and play a volleyball game. Why does it have to last all weekend long? She sees all of her school friends at these godforsaken tournaments anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have played some travel sports, but we have intentionally limited them because they are so expensive and miserable for the parents and siblings. But my kids always really really loved when they were the one competing in the tournaments.

It’s so miserable. We held off for a long,long time but then she picked volleyball. We found a club with limited travel but even local tournament weekends are brutal. Why can’t we just go down the street and play a volleyball game. Why does it have to last all weekend long? She sees all of her school friends at these godforsaken tournaments anyway.

NP: I agree, to a point. That said, one thing I enjoyed when my child moved from rec to club (baseball) was that the games were now only on weekends. We actually found it easier to manage weekend games vs running around on weeknights and getting home late. For in-town games & tournaments anyway.

[Anonymous]

Both my kids play travel. I am not a sports person. They play because they love it and I pay and take them because it keeps them active and off their screens. My daughter loves the social element and my son just really loves his sport. He usually stays in the hotel and doesn't hang out much with the other boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like most of our friends and acquaintances whose kids play travel sports are always saying "They Love It" after describing a three day weekend of driving a total of 800 miles, eating crappy fast food in the car three meals a day and playing in 3 different tournament games. It always sounds very defensive as if they're trying to justify spending a weekend in this fashion.

I know some of these kids might legit love doing this for the love of the game, but how many others are simply being pushed to do all this by their parents? Travel sports seem to be getting completely out of control, and it's hard to believe that so many families are happy to be spending their weekends this way. I feel like parents we've known for years become completely obsessed with these travel leagues once they join, and the sport becomes their life.

Anyone else get this "They Love It" statement from a travel sports parent?

So your kid is not athletic and can't make a travel team you say?

You got the money you will find a travel team to take your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do love it. My son is now 17 and I will miss it when he graduates. The fact is he lives and breathes soccer. It’s how he wants to spend his time.

Lots of kids choose to focus intensely on an activity. For me, soccer is more enjoyable than other activities he could have chosen. My nieces did theater and I didn’t love sitting through those productions. My SIL had to often sit through the same production 4-6 times. And schlep to and from daily rehearsals for months. I know other kids who focus on robotics or debate or whatever else.

Soccer IS the most boring sport to watch. A whole game of kicking the ball and you get scores like 2-0. Did your SIL watch your son play? Did she not love sitting through the game?

Your hours in the car are when you have the best conversations with your son but what your SIL does is “schlep” her daughters to rehearsals.

You wrote that your SIL had to sit through the same production 4-6 times. She probably loved it, loved watching her daughters perform as much as you love to watch your son’s soccer games, even 3or 4 in one weekend.

I hope you don’t have that attitude with your SIL. It’s condescending.

[Anonymous]

Had one kid who enjoyed it and another who got tired of it. Former was more social than the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize this is a troll post, but I can’t help myself.

OP, imagine whatever activity your kid likes best.

They get the opportunity to do it three or four times in a single weekend with a dozen or so friends, plus a couple of group meals, and ideally a stay in a hotel with an indoor pool where they get to spend evenings together.

Is it really that hard to understand that kids might really enjoy something like that?

This is exactly what tournament weekends are like. My kids do love it. We didn’t drive 800 miles. We had a tournament 50 miles away and one was local. Win or lose they are leaning important life lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize this is a troll post, but I can’t help myself.

OP, imagine whatever activity your kid likes best.

They get the opportunity to do it three or four times in a single weekend with a dozen or so friends, plus a couple of group meals, and ideally a stay in a hotel with an indoor pool where they get to spend evenings together.

Is it really that hard to understand that kids might really enjoy something like that?

This is exactly what tournament weekends are like. My kids do love it. We didn’t drive 800 miles. We had a tournament 50 miles away and one was local. Win or lose they are leaning important life lessons.

Like how to stay in a crappy Hampton Inn in Podunk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize this is a troll post, but I can’t help myself.

OP, imagine whatever activity your kid likes best.

They get the opportunity to do it three or four times in a single weekend with a dozen or so friends, plus a couple of group meals, and ideally a stay in a hotel with an indoor pool where they get to spend evenings together.

Is it really that hard to understand that kids might really enjoy something like that?

This is exactly what tournament weekends are like. My kids do love it. We didn’t drive 800 miles. We had a tournament 50 miles away and one was local. Win or lose they are leaning important life lessons.

Like how to stay in a crappy Hampton Inn in Podunk?

I won't stay in Hamptons anymore, only Home2 Suites or new Holiday Inn. As long as there is a bar and a pool, I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize this is a troll post, but I can’t help myself.

OP, imagine whatever activity your kid likes best.

They get the opportunity to do it three or four times in a single weekend with a dozen or so friends, plus a couple of group meals, and ideally a stay in a hotel with an indoor pool where they get to spend evenings together.

Is it really that hard to understand that kids might really enjoy something like that?

This is exactly what tournament weekends are like. My kids do love it. We didn’t drive 800 miles. We had a tournament 50 miles away and one was local. Win or lose they are leaning important life lessons.

Like how to stay in a crappy Hampton Inn in Podunk?

DP, but actually yes. Exposing your kid to the world (and more importantly, their own country) doesn’t exclusively involve first class travel, four star hotels, and Michelin dining. Unless your goal is to raise elitist snobs, it’s good for kids to learn that they’re not too good for a crappy Hampton Inn in Podunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC’s friend does year round swim team plus a summer team. His mom says the kid is really good at it and he enjoys it. Overheard my DC talking to his friend about it.. friend said ‘i hate it and its not fun at all’. My DC asked him why he does it then. He replied because my parents make me do it.
We know several kids like that. Other ones who burnt out and hate their sport now. Some who went to college for their sport and quit within a year because they hated it so much. So don’t believe when parents say ‘they love it so much’. I am sure some small percentage of kids do love their sport enough to benefit from travel sports experience but majority do not.

I don’t believe this, as someone around a lot of college athletes. Almost none quit after the first year, and the ones that did, it was clearly due to injury.

This is the kind of hyperbole common on DCUM but very unusual in real life.

I believe there are a few kids who hate it and are forced by their parents but definitely not most, at least at the older ages. My 9th grade daughter is on a high level team and I can guarantee you that every one of those kids has a real passion for the sport. I can see it in their play, in the extra work the put in, in their faces at 6:45 a.m. when they are thrilled to hit the dirt. Kids who do not absolutely love it do not last on teams like hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been our first year of a club sport that requires some amount of travel and weekend tournament out of town. My child wanted to play a sport beyond rec and travel was the only real option. It was her idea not ours and we figured a year of playing and practicing year round would certainly show just how much they liked the sport.

I have never understood the assumption with a lot of kids sports, especially when the sport gets to the point of being a major time and lifestyle commitment, that parents are forcing them to do it. I hear this on the swim board when discussion of early morning practice come up. "That is child abuse. I can't believe people force their kids to do that." Believe me if my kid complained or had to be dragged out of bed I certainly would not be pushing them to continue because I sure as hell don't want to be getting up at that hour to drive them.

Same goes for travel sports. They are a huge financial and time commitment. I can't imagine most kids are being forced into them. My kid approached me about paying travel. I am sure some kids are pushed by their parent, but I would bet that is the exception more than the norm.

I don't really see anyone saying the kid is forced. I get that the kid wants to do it. What many of us are saying is that it's too much of a drain on family time. I'm shocked how many parents are happily spending so much time away from their spouse and other child(ren). I like my spouse and other child too much for that.

So we sort of see it the other way around. We see it as intentional family time, although we only travel for tournaments during the summer (thankful for our club). I supposed we are lucky that our boys’ teams always play in the same tournaments. And when our boys start to complain about attending a dance or piano recital we kindly remind them that their sister has patiently sat through countless basketball games and now it is time to return the favor.