“I’m destitute, and I need you to solve this”

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If other people ask me to solve their problems, they might not like the solution, which is tough love.


Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?


A mom can be a mom devoid of birthing a child. Have you heard of adoption?

Doesn’t matter. Adopted or bio, parents, especially mothers have no value and if they need help they should simply be kicked to the curb. Of course if they have money, the Adult Child is entitled to it, no matter how awful or distant they’ve been. All parents must be perfect at all times, and all adult children have no responsibility for anything, ever. It’s the DCUM hive mind.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If other people ask me to solve their problems, they might not like the solution, which is tough love.


Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?


A mom can be a mom devoid of birthing a child. Have you heard of adoption?

Doesn’t matter. Adopted or bio, parents, especially mothers have no value and if they need help they should simply be kicked to the curb. Of course if they have money, the Adult Child is entitled to it, no matter how awful or distant they’ve been. All parents must be perfect at all times, and all adult children have no responsibility for anything, ever. It’s the DCUM hive mind.


If restating things in the most dramatic and hyperbolic way is the only means you have to make a point, then you are not on stable ground.
Anonymous
Sell everything and move her into a nursing home
Anonymous
"What do you want me to do about it?"

Don't risk your children's future because someone else made poor decisions.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If other people ask me to solve their problems, they might not like the solution, which is tough love.


Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?


A mom can be a mom devoid of birthing a child. Have you heard of adoption?

Doesn’t matter. Adopted or bio, parents, especially mothers have no value and if they need help they should simply be kicked to the curb. Of course if they have money, the Adult Child is entitled to it, no matter how awful or distant they’ve been. All parents must be perfect at all times, and all adult children have no responsibility for anything, ever. It’s the DCUM hive mind.


That's not true. Parents have no value if they can't admit their mistakes, be accountable, and do better. None of us asked for perfection. We needed accountability and humility
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sell everything and move her into a nursing home

I actually think this is a good idea. if she’s already displaying some cognitive impairment it will be harder to get her in later. The cost would be fixed at least until she needed more care and meals would be provided and social life. No need for a car because they provide rides.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If other people ask me to solve their problems, they might not like the solution, which is tough love.


Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?


A mom can be a mom devoid of birthing a child. Have you heard of adoption?

Doesn’t matter. Adopted or bio, parents, especially mothers have no value and if they need help they should simply be kicked to the curb. Of course if they have money, the Adult Child is entitled to it, no matter how awful or distant they’ve been. All parents must be perfect at all times, and all adult children have no responsibility for anything, ever. It’s the DCUM hive mind.


That's not true. Parents have no value if they can't admit their mistakes, be accountable, and do better. None of us asked for perfection. We needed accountability and humility


From the sound of things, it looks like that PP was a real piece of work and her adult children don't want anything to do with her
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do NOT buy her a place or otherwise intertwine your finances. She needs to live within her means. Eventually she will not be eligible for credit. Send her food if you must, but it’s a big mistake to fund this insanity.



I agree
I have a mother even worse than this

Fun times coming when she doesn’t get social security any longer

I will not help she voted for the Putin party
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If other people ask me to solve their problems, they might not like the solution, which is tough love.


Jesus Christ, this is how you think about the person who birthed and raised you?


A mom can be a mom devoid of birthing a child. Have you heard of adoption?

Doesn’t matter. Adopted or bio, parents, especially mothers have no value and if they need help they should simply be kicked to the curb. Of course if they have money, the Adult Child is entitled to it, no matter how awful or distant they’ve been. All parents must be perfect at all times, and all adult children have no responsibility for anything, ever. It’s the DCUM hive mind.


That's not true. Parents have no value if they can't admit their mistakes, be accountable, and do better. None of us asked for perfection. We needed accountability and humility


If you’re referring to me, I’m not at that stage of life. I’m blessed with good fortune and loving family that will be part of my care. As someone who has cared for many seniors, I’m just disgusted by the selfishness and judgment so often inflicted by DCUM commenters. The subject of this thread was described as a good mother. Like most people, she was imperfect. Betting OP wasn’t perfect either. Nor the rest of the leave her to rot crew.
From the sound of things, it looks like that PP was a real piece of work and her adult children don't want anything to do with her
Anonymous
Once again, the elderly haters are out in force. You people have no idea what your future will be like but you will be old in a wink of an eye.

There is an entire spectrum here. Do nothing and let her live in a government home to letting her move in with you and find her lifestyle. Neither of those options are reasonable. She needs to learn and have some skin in the game. But it can be done with compassion. What is that? I do t know all your details but a financial person (& therapist) can help find that place that works for you.

Honestly, the coldness some of you have towards family, and specifically parents who raised you, is breathtakingly selfish. But I do believe we do have the obligation to care for loving parents as they age. That doesn’t mean giving them what they want 100% or giving at the ruin of your own family. Jesus, people.
Anonymous
[quote=Anonymous]
If you’re referring to me, I’m not at that stage of life. I’m blessed with good fortune and loving family that will be part of my care. As someone who has cared for many seniors, I’m just disgusted by the selfishness and judgment so often inflicted by DCUM commenters. The subject of this thread was described as a good mother. Like most people, she was imperfect. Betting OP wasn’t perfect either. Nor the rest of the leave her to rot crew.
From the sound of things, it looks like that PP was a real piece of work and her adult children don't want anything to do with her[/quote]

This is not about "being perfect," the fallback assertion of what people like you claim any time other people express concerns about irresponsibility in a particular area.

If you consistently fail in an area and refuse to change your behavior, there's no way for people to help you
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Once again, the elderly haters are out in force. You people have no idea what your future will be like but you will be old in a wink of an eye.

There is an entire spectrum here. Do nothing and let her live in a government home to letting her move in with you and find her lifestyle. Neither of those options are reasonable. She needs to learn and have some skin in the game. But it can be done with compassion. What is that? I do t know all your details but a financial person (& therapist) can help find that place that works for you.

Honestly, the coldness some of you have towards family, and specifically parents who raised you, is breathtakingly selfish. But I do believe we do have the obligation to care for loving parents as they age. That doesn’t mean giving them what they want 100% or giving at the ruin of your own family. Jesus, people.


Doesn’t sound like there are $$$s for a therapist or a financial planner.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Once again, the elderly haters are out in force. You people have no idea what your future will be like but you will be old in a wink of an eye.

There is an entire spectrum here. Do nothing and let her live in a government home to letting her move in with you and find her lifestyle. Neither of those options are reasonable. She needs to learn and have some skin in the game. But it can be done with compassion. What is that? I do t know all your details but a financial person (& therapist) can help find that place that works for you.

Honestly, the coldness some of you have towards family, and specifically parents who raised you, is breathtakingly selfish. But I do believe we do have the obligation to care for loving parents as they age. That doesn’t mean giving them what they want 100% or giving at the ruin of your own family. Jesus, people.



You assume they actually raised us. My mom is abusuve and irresponsible. And no. I’m not going to keep allowing her to bite the hands that feed the entitled wench
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once again, the elderly haters are out in force. You people have no idea what your future will be like but you will be old in a wink of an eye.

There is an entire spectrum here. Do nothing and let her live in a government home to letting her move in with you and find her lifestyle. Neither of those options are reasonable. She needs to learn and have some skin in the game. But it can be done with compassion. What is that? I do t know all your details but a financial person (& therapist) can help find that place that works for you.

Honestly, the coldness some of you have towards family, and specifically parents who raised you, is breathtakingly selfish. But I do believe we do have the obligation to care for loving parents as they age. That doesn’t mean giving them what they want 100% or giving at the ruin of your own family. Jesus, people.



You assume they actually raised us. My mom is abusuve and irresponsible. And no. I’m not going to keep allowing her to bite the hands that feed the entitled wench


THIS THREAD was about a good mother.
Anonymous
Where is your mom located, OP?
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