Don't redshirt-- having 18 year old seniors at home is PAINFUL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean we did this for years in Canada, we had grade 13 and most of us graduated at 19……

No, that is different. There is no grade 13 here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally, kids who are the oldest end up being more financially successful. The downside is that they have shorter life expectancies than those who were younger relative to their classmates.

No, they come from rich families who have more resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twins who missed the cut-off (Sept 1st) in our district by about 10 days and now turned 18 a few weeks into senior year.
They were also 6 weeks premature so at the time (age 4 when they started PK) we thrilled for the "gift of time."

Let me tell you. Having two 18 year olds under our roof and under our rules is PAINFUL. We are very chill parents and they are good kids: strong students, etc (in fact they just applied to top20 schools--fingers crossed) but it's clear that they could be thriving in college right now and are 100% ready for more independence. We butt heads A LOT.
Nothing was an issue until the last month or so---17 was great but now they're legal adults. They want to be in the next stage of life. And yet here they are living under our roof and having to complete another 7 months of high school and 9 months of living with mom and dad.

Just another perspective on the entire redshirting debate. Being 18 for an entire year of high school is HARD.

Literally every high school senior feels this way. I felt that way and I was youngest in grade.

Yes, this. This is not because they are 18, but because they are seniors and feel like they are ready for the next step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they girls? Sending boys to college at 17 imo is not a good idea.

This is sexist. They are 17 for a month or two. Better than 19.

Why is it better? What difference does it make? Gap years are a thing. Military service is a thing. You go when you are ready and that’s not 17 for the vast majority.

Military service is not a gap year. It’s silly. Get a job, military, college or trade school. Only rich are traveling it’s basically a rich kid thing.

Of course it’s not a gap year. You do your service then you go to college. There are many reasons people don’t go straight to a 4 year school. They may even stay home and do 2 years at a CC. Or work and save money.

You do realize being enlisted is very low pay and you aren’t treated well. My husband is an enlisted retiree. Hard no. College, then go in as an officer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they girls? Sending boys to college at 17 imo is not a good idea.

This is sexist. They are 17 for a month or two. Better than 19.

Why is it better? What difference does it make? Gap years are a thing. Military service is a thing. You go when you are ready and that’s not 17 for the vast majority.

Military service is not a gap year. It’s silly. Get a job, military, college or trade school. Only rich are traveling it’s basically a rich kid thing.

Of course it’s not a gap year. You do your service then you go to college. There are many reasons people don’t go straight to a 4 year school. They may even stay home and do 2 years at a CC. Or work and save money.

You do realize being enlisted is very low pay and you aren’t treated well. My husband is an enlisted retiree. Hard no. College, then go in as an officer.

Are you saying nobody goes to college after military? Funny because I certainly met some of these mature students when I was an undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Be glad your son's are eager to move on with their lives. Too many kids (especially males) are content to sit in their parents ' basements playing videogames in their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be glad your son's are eager to move on with their lives. Too many kids (especially males) are content to sit in their parents ' basements playing videogames in their 20s.

+1 seriously. Teens who are ready to move on with their is a GOOD thing. It's so very developmentally appropriate. It is sad that we have gotten to the point that this is a bad thing!

[Anonymous]

I cannot help but think this is a parenting issue and your child’s attitude / temperament. Regardless of his chronological age, he has not completed 12 years of school and had the life experience that comes with that.

It’s not about how many days you have been alive, it’s what you have been exposed to and experienced to prepare you for independence. I have a summer BD who could have been reshirted, but was not. I also have a fall BD kid who is the oldest in his class despite starting on time.

My fall kid has friends and sports teammates who are 2-3 months older, but a grade ahead of him. They are more mature and independent because they literally have an extra year of formal school, 2 more seasons playing the sport, and they are generally treated as older. In some ways it evens out as kids get older, but at each age / stage there are new freedoms and new life skills that come from how society at large treats your rather than the number of days you have existed on the planet.

I had a birthday 6 days before the cutoff and was literally the youngest in my graduating class, starting college at barely 18. I was more mature, independent, and capable of “adulting” than a lot of 19 -20 yr olds because I had very hands off, free-range parents who treated my last year at home as a trial run for college. I also grew up in a college town so I had the benefit of having friends 1-2 years older who were in college and living in dorms and group houses in the same town as their parents. If your kids are so ready to be independent, let them, with the safety net of having you there in case they screw up. Then they really will be ready to thrive next year. It’s not just about getting to go where they want or do what they want - they need to practice buying groceries, getting an oil change, making a Dr appointment, paying a cell phone bill - and other real life skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twins who missed the cut-off (Sept 1st) in our district by about 10 days and now turned 18 a few weeks into senior year.
They were also 6 weeks premature so at the time (age 4 when they started PK) we thrilled for the "gift of time."

Let me tell you. Having two 18 year olds under our roof and under our rules is PAINFUL. We are very chill parents and they are good kids: strong students, etc (in fact they just applied to top20 schools--fingers crossed) but it's clear that they could be thriving in college right now and are 100% ready for more independence. We butt heads A LOT.
Nothing was an issue until the last month or so---17 was great but now they're legal adults. They want to be in the next stage of life. And yet here they are living under our roof and having to complete another 7 months of high school and 9 months of living with mom and dad.

Just another perspective on the entire redshirting debate. Being 18 for an entire year of high school is HARD.

Going to college at 19 means an extra year they're legally allowed to drink while away at school. It's one thing to drink illegally once in a while at parties but being able to go to bars and drink whenever they want, and buying beer for everyone else, is not a good idea for many kids, especially since they should be attending classes and doing work. I've seen more than a few kids become alcoholics who got kicked out for poor grades.

Disagree. It’s one year less to be at risk of a (potentially) career ending MIP while a college student.

[Anonymous]

So, you sent your kids on time and had the advantage of them being the oldest without having to redshirt. And you want to tell others what to do? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that “on time” Seniors are also 18, right?

My on time kid will be 17 for the entirety of Senior year because her birthday is in August. On time kids with birthdays in the spring will spend most of the year at 17.

Only on time kids with fall and early winter birthdays will be 18 for the majority of senior year.

This actually is something we considered when deciding whether to redshirt our August birthday kid. She was VERY ready for kindergarten (socially, emotionally, and academically) so the decision was weighted in that direction, but we also thought about what it would mean being the youngest through puberty and into and through high school. One thing that helped us decide was that we know a number of kids who have taken gap years before going to college and doing well. So we know that will be an option if she gets to senior year and just doesn't feel ready for college. This felt like a better solution than holding her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it has nothing to do with holding them back. It has to do with the stage of life they're in. They finished applications and are now ready to move on to the next stage of their lives.

Ah yes, they're so ready to move onto the next stage of their lives... which will be 100% funded by mom and dad. They want all the freedom and no accountability, with zero of the associated costs. Who doesn't want that deal at 17 or 18?

I turned 18 mid way through my senior year of high school and it didn't suddenly make me a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Being the 'old kid' at college sucks. And it's magical thinking to assume an extra year makes boys mature. It doesn't. Maturity, temperament, and academic capability is largely innate. You're fighting a losing battle against your and your spouse's genetics and parenting.

[Anonymous]

Both of my brothers have May birthdays and didn’t turn 18 until the end of the school year. Both attended top colleges and are successful adults, but still got into trouble senior year. One brother actually struggled with my parents quite a bit. It’s not just a matter of being 17 vs 18 senior year, it’s just a personality thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is a straw-man argument because almost nobody redshirts their kid. Even the vast majority of kids born between October and December start on time. I started a year late because I'm small and would've looked like a hobbit next to my peers, but I'm over 30 now and can count on one hand the number of people I know, myself included, who were redshirted. So you just sound like a hammer looking for a nail.

Of course Oct-Dec go on time because in almost every state they are the oldest. Not NY so you must be from NY.

DP but from New York and have kids with fall birthdays.

First of all, most privates here have a 9/1 or 10/1 cutoff. It’s the public schools and a handful of privates (including ours) that have 12/31 cutoffs.

A lot of people do hold back fall (and summer) birthdays here, especially boys. In my son’s private with a 12/31 cutoff, 50% of fall birthdays redshirt.

It was much less common when we were growing up, and is more confusing now that NY is such an outlier from the rest of the country with its late cutoff. It’s primarily so low income families have access to childcare sooner, including universal prek. It’s not because it developmentally appropriate for most children to start today’s very structured and sedentary kindergarten curriculum at 4 years old - it’s primarily a better alternative to low quality childcare for low income families.