Weekend activities w shared custody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most sports have 1-2 weekday practices and one weekend game? Seems like keeping the weekends free is not likely to be a solution here.

OP. My kid is not in a team sport.

WHAT ARE YOU WANTING THEN??????? If your kid isn't into activities or on a team sport then your schedule has no issues. Do what comes up on Sunday. I don't get what your concern is.

There are activities that aren’t team sports. I’m not sure why you’re so worked up.

Because you're complaining about nothing. If you want to cram the activities during the week you can and if they fall on Sunday and they're just for an hour, then what's the issue??????? Just do what works for your family. Most of us are trying to offer recommendations on activities that get scheduled at times we can't control (sport practices and sport games) but that doesn't seem to be your issue because your kid isn't into anything. Well, then you're good, right?

Ok still not so sure why you are so hostile. I’m curious what other people do/think in this situation. The suggestion to consider alternating weekends was a good one but not in the cards this year. The issue is that the activities I’m talking about are sometimes hard to schedule and one slot right now is only Sundays. So either we have to schedule our Sunday or make other compromises like look for a different provider or do it virtually after school.

No one is being hostile but you're being stubborn and selfish. Your child needs to come first. If they have activities that fall on a Sunday, then that's what you do. If you want your Sunday free, you find another time for the activity. It's not that hard. So you have an activity that is being slotted for a Sunday, you take it and do what needs to be done. What's so hard about this?

Ok …. I feel like I have explained this numerous times but here goes again:
1. I have my kid on Sundays
2. We (my ex and I) jointly agree on a couple of activities for him.
3. Said activites are 1:1/tutoring type activities, NOT sports teams where there is little choice about the schedule.
4. My kid is not passionate about these activities or requesting to do them on Sundays but I would absolutely support that if he was.
5. The activity providers right now want to schedule on Sundays but I’m wondering if it’s better to keep Sundays free and unscheduled for friends etc.
6. We can potentially schedule these activities during the week but with some compromises (have to do virtual, find different tutor, less time for downtime after school, etc.)

I dispute your first point. You have your child Saturday PM through Friday AM. You have four weeknights and Sundays. Schedule tutoring right after school (3-5) or in the evening Tuesdays and Thursdays. Find providers who can accommodate. You have Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays free.

Or, schedule with the preferred provider on Sundays if that’s what you want to do.

This is not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Schedule activities at 10 or 11 a.m. on Sunday then you have the whole rest of the day free. If you really want to take a trip that day cancel the activity that day. Presumably trips won't be more than once every other month right?

[Anonymous]

^edit can't imagine he plays with friends that early in the a.m. so perfect time for activities.

[Anonymous]

OP doesn't want to do what is best for her kid. She keeps changing her stories and making hills out of nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't want to do what is best for her kid. She keeps changing her stories and making hills out of nothing.

What is best for my kid? Curious to know since you figured it out. Also my story never changed? There are a lot of different factors that pull in different directions. Thanks to the people who provided actual advice/feedback!

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should sign him up for tutoring unless he is behind academically. Same with other activities - don’t sign up unless he actually wants them. I think it’s great that he has friends to do day-long play dates with, and that he is into family outings. Keep doing those. Active, unstructured time is better for kids anyway.

[Anonymous]

I'm sort of confused by op's story, but I think what they want to do is have one day a week, Sunday, without any appointments/obligations?

OP, if that is what you want, do it. It's healthy to have a day like that in the busy week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'm sort of confused by op's story, but I think what they want to do is have one day a week, Sunday, without any appointments/obligations?

OP, if that is what you want, do it. It's healthy to have a day like that in the busy week.

The story is - do activities on Sunday or leave Sunday free and comprise by doing activities during the week instead? I think what’s confusing to people is that the activities are not things like a sports team (where you cannot really pick & chose game days) but 1:1 lessons/tutoring. The compromise is due the fact that we might need to switch instructors because they are not available during the week or only available virtually; and also that weekday evenings are already short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most sports have 1-2 weekday practices and one weekend game? Seems like keeping the weekends free is not likely to be a solution here.

OP. My kid is not in a team sport.

WHAT ARE YOU WANTING THEN??????? If your kid isn't into activities or on a team sport then your schedule has no issues. Do what comes up on Sunday. I don't get what your concern is.

There are activities that aren’t team sports. I’m not sure why you’re so worked up.

Because you're complaining about nothing. If you want to cram the activities during the week you can and if they fall on Sunday and they're just for an hour, then what's the issue??????? Just do what works for your family. Most of us are trying to offer recommendations on activities that get scheduled at times we can't control (sport practices and sport games) but that doesn't seem to be your issue because your kid isn't into anything. Well, then you're good, right?

Ok still not so sure why you are so hostile. I’m curious what other people do/think in this situation. The suggestion to consider alternating weekends was a good one but not in the cards this year. The issue is that the activities I’m talking about are sometimes hard to schedule and one slot right now is only Sundays. So either we have to schedule our Sunday or make other compromises like look for a different provider or do it virtually after school.

No one is being hostile but you're being stubborn and selfish. Your child needs to come first. If they have activities that fall on a Sunday, then that's what you do. If you want your Sunday free, you find another time for the activity. It's not that hard. So you have an activity that is being slotted for a Sunday, you take it and do what needs to be done. What's so hard about this?

Ok …. I feel like I have explained this numerous times but here goes again:
1. I have my kid on Sundays
2. We (my ex and I) jointly agree on a couple of activities for him.
3. Said activites are 1:1/tutoring type activities, NOT sports teams where there is little choice about the schedule.
4. My kid is not passionate about these activities or requesting to do them on Sundays but I would absolutely support that if he was.
5. The activity providers right now want to schedule on Sundays but I’m wondering if it’s better to keep Sundays free and unscheduled for friends etc.
6. We can potentially schedule these activities during the week but with some compromises (have to do virtual, find different tutor, less time for downtime after school, etc.)

Dad has his son for 1 day a week. You said Dad has him on the weekend but not Sundays and you have him during the week. Schedule whatever you need to schedule during the week or on Sunday. Do not take time away from Dads time. He has a limited amount of time with Dad, let him be with Dad.

Tutoring and swim lessons can be scheduled during the week and you can do something fun with him on Sundays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most sports have 1-2 weekday practices and one weekend game? Seems like keeping the weekends free is not likely to be a solution here.

OP. My kid is not in a team sport.

WHAT ARE YOU WANTING THEN??????? If your kid isn't into activities or on a team sport then your schedule has no issues. Do what comes up on Sunday. I don't get what your concern is.

There are activities that aren’t team sports. I’m not sure why you’re so worked up.

Because you're complaining about nothing. If you want to cram the activities during the week you can and if they fall on Sunday and they're just for an hour, then what's the issue??????? Just do what works for your family. Most of us are trying to offer recommendations on activities that get scheduled at times we can't control (sport practices and sport games) but that doesn't seem to be your issue because your kid isn't into anything. Well, then you're good, right?

Ok still not so sure why you are so hostile. I’m curious what other people do/think in this situation. The suggestion to consider alternating weekends was a good one but not in the cards this year. The issue is that the activities I’m talking about are sometimes hard to schedule and one slot right now is only Sundays. So either we have to schedule our Sunday or make other compromises like look for a different provider or do it virtually after school.

No one is being hostile but you're being stubborn and selfish. Your child needs to come first. If they have activities that fall on a Sunday, then that's what you do. If you want your Sunday free, you find another time for the activity. It's not that hard. So you have an activity that is being slotted for a Sunday, you take it and do what needs to be done. What's so hard about this?

Ok …. I feel like I have explained this numerous times but here goes again:
1. I have my kid on Sundays
2. We (my ex and I) jointly agree on a couple of activities for him.
3. Said activites are 1:1/tutoring type activities, NOT sports teams where there is little choice about the schedule.
4. My kid is not passionate about these activities or requesting to do them on Sundays but I would absolutely support that if he was.
5. The activity providers right now want to schedule on Sundays but I’m wondering if it’s better to keep Sundays free and unscheduled for friends etc.
6. We can potentially schedule these activities during the week but with some compromises (have to do virtual, find different tutor, less time for downtime after school, etc.)

Dad has his son for 1 day a week. You said Dad has him on the weekend but not Sundays and you have him during the week. Schedule whatever you need to schedule during the week or on Sunday. Do not take time away from Dads time. He has a limited amount of time with Dad, let him be with Dad.

Tutoring and swim lessons can be scheduled during the week and you can do something fun with him on Sundays.

Fair. I’m not sure he would mind but I’ll certainly ask him.

[Anonymous]

Agree with many. You need to switch to weekend on and weekend off in you parenting plan.

Private tutoring and swim can schedule infrequently, but if he needs both consistency matters.

You and ex switching to full every other weekends is the best solution. Kid would probably love to get to one house for the weekend without having to shuffle around too.

[Anonymous]

You have to accept that having less time to relax and have fun with your child is part of divorce. Or your child does less stuff and pays the price that way. There are only so many hours in the day. It's like how my divorced parents have to accept seeing my kids only half the days of school break rather than all the days. Normal for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share custody of my 12 year old son. I have him most of the school week but he spends half the weekend (until Sat evening) with his dad. That means his only full weekend day with me is Sunday. He’s at an age where activities with friends are really important and I also like to take him on outings. But we also want him to so some scheduled activities like swim lessons, tutoring, etc. I’m hesitant to schedule any of these on Sundays, but that may mean that all of the extras are crammed into the school week, which doesn’t seem ideal either.

Any thoughts?

There are only so many available swim lesson or tutoring time slots available so start there.
They could be Saturday, Sunday or after school or evening.

Get going on that. You may not have a choice of day of the week or time

[Anonymous]

My 10+ yos need structure and activities or homework time if they have a whole Sunday day free. Things can really devolve with nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Routines are good