I worry about my son a lot more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

You are clueless. They are not victims. No one is saying that. These are complicated issues and thoughtful people are capable of having conversations about it. That’s it. Hope your girls find someone to marry.

So far in this thread, boys have been identified as being victimized for:

1. A teacher wearing a shirt they didn’t like.
2. Being assigned school supplies they didn’t like— not even made to use them, just being assigned them.
3. An organization going co-Ed to avoid bankruptcy (hilarious given the reason for the bankruptcy was the fact that, when single gender, they actually victimized boys)

Please save these poor suffering children.

Also hostility, acknowledged and unacknowledged, both for what other people did and just in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

You are clueless. They are not victims. No one is saying that. These are complicated issues and thoughtful people are capable of having conversations about it. That’s it. Hope your girls find someone to marry.

So far in this thread, boys have been identified as being victimized for:

1. A teacher wearing a shirt they didn’t like.
2. Being assigned school supplies they didn’t like— not even made to use them, just being assigned them.
3. An organization going co-Ed to avoid bankruptcy (hilarious given the reason for the bankruptcy was the fact that, when single gender, they actually victimized boys)

Please save these poor suffering children.

are you talking about "Girls Rule/Boys Drool" t-shirt? way to trivialize the issue. that teacher should have been suspended.

--- mom to 3 girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

Great perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have a son but always thought I would worry a lot more if I had a daughter, in terms of the possibility of her being victimized/abused. I don’t share you concerns about having a boy - my biggest concern is raising him to be a decent man, not toxic, entitled, abusive. I think it’s so concerning seeing how certain online platforms are designed to draw impressionable young boys into dark, misogynistic, racist ideas and movements.

No problem if a girl is toxic and abusive, or if a boy is unemployed and homeless or dead in Iraq.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

You are clueless. They are not victims. No one is saying that. These are complicated issues and thoughtful people are capable of having conversations about it. That’s it. Hope your girls find someone to marry.

So far in this thread, boys have been identified as being victimized for:

1. A teacher wearing a shirt they didn’t like.
2. Being assigned school supplies they didn’t like— not even made to use them, just being assigned them.
3. An organization going co-Ed to avoid bankruptcy (hilarious given the reason for the bankruptcy was the fact that, when single gender, they actually victimized boys)

Please save these poor suffering children.

are you talking about "Girls Rule/Boys Drool" t-shirt? way to trivialize the issue. that teacher should have been suspended.

--- mom to 3 girls

Has any male teacher wearing a sexist t shirt ever been suspended? Thinking about my gym teacher not so long ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

You are clueless. They are not victims. No one is saying that. These are complicated issues and thoughtful people are capable of having conversations about it. That’s it. Hope your girls find someone to marry.

So far in this thread, boys have been identified as being victimized for:

1. A teacher wearing a shirt they didn’t like.
2. Being assigned school supplies they didn’t like— not even made to use them, just being assigned them.
3. An organization going co-Ed to avoid bankruptcy (hilarious given the reason for the bankruptcy was the fact that, when single gender, they actually victimized boys)

Please save these poor suffering children.

No one is using the word victim except you. You’re weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way (two daughters and a son). I have always weirdly felt like my son is more vulnerable, more in danger in the world. Almost like society expects him to shoulder every burden alone, vs my daughters will always have someone to take care of them. I know that seems regressive which is why it's so weird for me- I'm a feminist, I work, my husband is an equal partner.

I see this too, not that the girl will be taken care on in the sense of having a husband, but that girls/women generally have more robust social networks. Men seem to have a harder time with friendship than women.

+1, I worry that they won't do as well in society, like being street smart and not getting into stupid troubles (porn, drugs, etc...)
Also, STD not being smart about protection, caring about health and work-balance.
I want them to be able to keep a clean house, bathrooms and kitchen not just taking out trash and lawn!
Is that too much to ask?

Me too. I worry about my son not getting into finance, having a trust fund, growing to 6'5", and he already misses blue eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have a son but always thought I would worry a lot more if I had a daughter, in terms of the possibility of her being victimized/abused. I don’t share you concerns about having a boy - my biggest concern is raising him to be a decent man, not toxic, entitled, abusive. I think it’s so concerning seeing how certain online platforms are designed to draw impressionable young boys into dark, misogynistic, racist ideas and movements.

No problem if a girl is toxic and abusive, or if a boy is unemployed and homeless or dead in Iraq.

PP: Of course toxic and abusive women are problematic, they just don’t tend to cause as much damage to others as toxic men. Men commit cast majority of the crimes. We’re UMC - I don’t worry about my son being unemployed or dead in a foreign war. I do worry about the possibility of him getting into drugs and derailing his life as a result. That is something I probably worry about more than if I had a daughter.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for all the boys out there being “raised” by man-hating mothers and clueless, sniveling fathers.

And I feel sorry for all the girls being infantilized by these same parents, taught that they are perpetual victims with no agency in their lives.

Most of the enlightened DCUM crowd have serious emotional baggage, and you will almost certainly pass your neuroticism on to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry for all our children

The US will be a hellscape once Project 2025 is installed.

They will never have childhoods again. UGH

Seriously. Project 2025? That’s your big existential crisis?It’s a giant HR program.

People like you are the reason emails from long lost Nigerian princes exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for all the boys out there being “raised” by man-hating mothers and clueless, sniveling fathers.

And I feel sorry for all the girls being infantilized by these same parents, taught that they are perpetual victims with no agency in their lives.

Most of the enlightened DCUM crowd have serious emotional baggage, and you will almost certainly pass your neuroticism on to your kids.

People like OP and probably you are the ones who infantilize daughter… no need to instill any sense of achievement since they can just get married and have their husbands take care of them after all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way (two daughters and a son). I have always weirdly felt like my son is more vulnerable, more in danger in the world. Almost like society expects him to shoulder every burden alone, vs my daughters will always have someone to take care of them. I know that seems regressive which is why it's so weird for me- I'm a feminist, I work, my husband is an equal partner.

Op- this is exactly how I feel. I also work. But boys simply do not have the option of NOT being a provider. That option is just more accessible to women. I feel like my boy has to work ten times as hard as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way (two daughters and a son). I have always weirdly felt like my son is more vulnerable, more in danger in the world. Almost like society expects him to shoulder every burden alone, vs my daughters will always have someone to take care of them. I know that seems regressive which is why it's so weird for me- I'm a feminist, I work, my husband is an equal partner.

Op- this is exactly how I feel. I also work. But boys simply do not have the option of NOT being a provider. That option is just more accessible to women. I feel like my boy has to work ten times as hard as a result.

You don’t worry about your daughters marry a loser or abuser and then having no other options since you didn’t teach her that working hard is important for her too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way (two daughters and a son). I have always weirdly felt like my son is more vulnerable, more in danger in the world. Almost like society expects him to shoulder every burden alone, vs my daughters will always have someone to take care of them. I know that seems regressive which is why it's so weird for me- I'm a feminist, I work, my husband is an equal partner.

I see this too, not that the girl will be taken care on in the sense of having a husband, but that girls/women generally have more robust social networks. Men seem to have a harder time with friendship than women.

+1, I worry that they won't do as well in society, like being street smart and not getting into stupid troubles (porn, drugs, etc...)
Also, STD not being smart about protection, caring about health and work-balance.
I want them to be able to keep a clean house, bathrooms and kitchen not just taking out trash and lawn!
Is that too much to ask?

Me too. I worry about my son not getting into finance, having a trust fund, growing to 6'5", and he already misses blue eyes.

😂😂😂👍👍👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for all the boys out there being “raised” by man-hating mothers and clueless, sniveling fathers.

And I feel sorry for all the girls being infantilized by these same parents, taught that they are perpetual victims with no agency in their lives.

Most of the enlightened DCUM crowd have serious emotional baggage, and you will almost certainly pass your neuroticism on to your kids.

People like OP and probably you are the ones who infantilize daughter… no need to instill any sense of achievement since they can just get married and have their husbands take care of them after all!

People who regularly demean SAHMs and housewives have bought into the lie that women are only valuable as long their achievements are in areas traditionally valued by men.