Is suburban living considered a failure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

So you actually live in the suburban area of DC proper. Like Chevy Chase

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issues is that there is a great variety of quality of life in the city but in the suburbs the extremes are not as drastic (but still exist).

The difference in quality of life between the most expensive and least expensive parts of DC is very dramatic. In terms of size of homes, green space, crime, schools, traffic and noise, you name it.

This division also exists in the most and least expensive parts of the DC suburbs but there is a vaster middle ground where you get many of the amenities of the most expensive neighborhoods and can limit things like crime and noise.

Though I also think that the pricier an area gets, the less of a bargain the suburbs offer middle class people. Because the bargain gets pushed further and further out which increases commutes while decreasing access to city amenities. The inner suburbs are becoming unaffordable to the middle class in this area (except for those inner suburbs with the highest crime and lowest school test scores). When people are commuting in from Howard County or Frederick or Loudon, the tradeoffs are more stark. So you have people with decent middle class incomes choosing to stay in the city where at least they get walkability and amenities. If your only other options are SS or PG where crime and schools are about the same or moving much further out, why not just stay?

Work for a large DC hospital with tons of middle class (nurses, etc) and barely anyone actually lives in DC. Everyone commutes in.

Because they can’t afford to. So they get stuck in grim ticky tack developments with subpar construction and get saddled with crippling debt. They should be treated better.

Agree they can't afford to. And this is why I get irritated at plans to just shut down major traffic lanes without thought to provide better avenues into the city. City dwellers have a lot of disdain for the commuters who can't afford to live here yet provide their services, healthcare and more. I agree I hate busy roads in neighborhoods but the bigger picture has to account for how people can realistically get to their jobs but can't afford to live here.

Decades of research shows that expanding car infrastructure has the opposite effect - it adds volume and worsens congestion and is harmful to the urban communities.

This isn’t an anti suburb thing, it’s just science.

And a lot of the problems urban areas do have is due to failed transportation policies that favored single person auto use.

It is not science, it is a reddit based ideology, one that has emerged because Gen Z men can't afford cars so they need to rationalize them as evil.

I mean, have you ever driven on a highway trying to get into a city. The problem is not that there aren’t enough cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

That’s outside of dc limits but would be classified as urban.

Who cares no one is seeking your approval so you can keep your is it sufficiently urban test to yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

So you actually live in the suburban area of DC proper. Like Chevy Chase

I don’t live downtown. There are dozens of neighborhoods with row houses, community gardens and access to hundreds of acres of city and federal parks.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this question at all. People have preferences. Mine is to live in a place with ample room for my gardens, where I don't have to talk to people if I don't want to.

So, I live in the suburbs on 5 acres with lovely neighbors and no HOA, have my own pool, a pond, about to construct a bird pond, and spend my free time restoring native plants to what we own. We have zero debt (other than CC which is paid off montly). Most of our drives are 15-20 minutes away, both for kid's activities, as well as groceries and other stuff needed for life. The trade-off for the drive is that I can just as easily go to H-Mart as I can to Costco or Target. DH and I both work from home, so there is no routine commute or dealing with traffic.

When I was younger, we lived in NYC, and enjoyed it immensely. But at this stage in my life, city living is not what I want, so I don't live in the city. There is no failure with either choice, it's just a personal preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

So you actually live in the suburban area of DC proper. Like Chevy Chase

Uh oh you are in trouble you are not in an approved type of place to live in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

That’s outside of dc limits but would be classified as urban.

Who cares no one is seeking your approval so you can keep your is it sufficiently urban test to yourself

Says the person drowning in a mortgage and three car payments enraged to find out that actually people do like living in quiet urban areas well served by public transport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this question at all. People have preferences. Mine is to live in a place with ample room for my gardens, where I don't have to talk to people if I don't want to.

So, I live in the suburbs on 5 acres with lovely neighbors and no HOA, have my own pool, a pond, about to construct a bird pond, and spend my free time restoring native plants to what we own. We have zero debt (other than CC which is paid off montly). Most of our drives are 15-20 minutes away, both for kid's activities, as well as groceries and other stuff needed for life. The trade-off for the drive is that I can just as easily go to H-Mart as I can to Costco or Target. DH and I both work from home, so there is no routine commute or dealing with traffic.

When I was younger, we lived in NYC, and enjoyed it immensely. But at this stage in my life, city living is not what I want, so I don't live in the city. There is no failure with either choice, it's just a personal preference.

Five acre plots are exurbs or rural. Perfect for a weekend home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

We had a front yard garden at our rowhouse but too tiny and the rats were so bad that we couldn't grow vegetables in our backyard. They came on the deck in BRIGHT DAYLIGHT to eat my herbs down to nubs. We had a community garden but it was a pain to manage our plot once I had kids. It's so much nicer to garden in peace in my own yard which isn't huge, but has plenty of space for the various plants my heart desires. And I deal with rabbits better than rats.

I also mentioned the living next to a hoarder/cockroach issue. There was more to that, but dear GOD, no more shared walls for us, never ever again.

Suburban bliss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

That’s outside of dc limits but would be classified as urban.

Who cares no one is seeking your approval so you can keep your is it sufficiently urban test to yourself

Says the person drowning in a mortgage and three car payments enraged to find out that actually people do like living in quiet urban areas well served by public transport.

There are people who like living in non urban areas that do not have access to public transportation and they are not drowning in a mortgage or have a large car payment. They do not care that you find nonurban living offensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

Again, I’m just not sure why you need to be so close to the metro. Where are you going all the time?

I’m reading and walking and hiking and gardening. Where are you going?

I’m a NP so I don’t know what you mean “again.” But our family takes the metro to museums, Nats games, events like the Easter Egg Roll, to the airport, etc. or even just within Arlington when we don’t feel like driving or the other parent has our only car. My kids think it’s fun to ride metro. I like that they’re growing up learning how to use transit so they can hopefully read subway maps in other cities when they travel. They also are used to riding in Ubers. When they are teens they can have independence without being tethered to needing a car to get places. But we still get all the perks of suburban living. It comes with a price tag though, which shows how in demand urban-ish suburbs are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this question at all. People have preferences. Mine is to live in a place with ample room for my gardens, where I don't have to talk to people if I don't want to.

So, I live in the suburbs on 5 acres with lovely neighbors and no HOA, have my own pool, a pond, about to construct a bird pond, and spend my free time restoring native plants to what we own. We have zero debt (other than CC which is paid off montly). Most of our drives are 15-20 minutes away, both for kid's activities, as well as groceries and other stuff needed for life. The trade-off for the drive is that I can just as easily go to H-Mart as I can to Costco or Target. DH and I both work from home, so there is no routine commute or dealing with traffic.

When I was younger, we lived in NYC, and enjoyed it immensely. But at this stage in my life, city living is not what I want, so I don't live in the city. There is no failure with either choice, it's just a personal preference.

Five acre plots are exurbs or rural. Perfect for a weekend home.

Former home on 5 acres (didn't have a pool or pond) was in Fairfax, right outside the city limits. Current one is in Centreville. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the dream for most.

No. Definitely not.

The idea of being forced to drive everywhere, traffic jams, rage in the parking lots, rage on the sidelines of playing fields, rage in lines, racism, HOAs, severing social ties, monotony, etc makes me physically ill.

The parts of my life that would improve by moving to the suburbs are the parts of my life that I wish I could cut out (access to shopping malls, shorter commutes for insane kid's sports, car dealerships).

City dwellers don’t walk everywhere so stop lying
I haven’t been in a traffic jam since the last snow storm or hurricane and that was 5 cars stuck behind a fallen tree
Ever sidelines has crazy parents especially dc united clun, Gonzaga football, Georgetown basketball
More diverse in Germantown Md than most of dc
I have friends from grade school/hs/new neighborhoods/life… more likely to gather every weekend on someone’s deck than at a cramped bar,
Monotony is going to the same places within walking distance which is why you no longer walk everywhere

Some city dwellers really do walk everywhere. We have one car and only use it once or twice a week and one of those times is for my spouse to commute to a job... in the suburbs. We walk to our kid's school, the grocery store, the library, etc. Also lots of biking and public transportation.

I'm not anti-suburb but we do actually worry that if we moved we'd wind up spending a thousand percent more time in the car. We're trying to find a suburb where this wouldn't be the case as we'd love to have more space and get away from the crime issues but we are never going to come anywhere close to the level of convenience and walkability we have now.

Keep in mind that means you can actually afford to live in a walkable area of DC. Finding that with space for two kids generally requires the ability to purchase very expensive housing.

I lived in DV but could not afford an area like that. We could walk to a playground and maybe the library and a 7-11. We drove everywhere all the time.

So unable to pay for the urban life, you retreated to the burbs.

Yes but also we lived next to a hoarder with a roach infestation and other major nuisances I don't go into. So you can say there were multiple factors like never ever ever ever ever wanting to share walls with a neighbor again.

Oh and a large yard is blissful especially as someone who adores gardening... Especially without a rat parade and where I can drink my coffee and stare at my plants in peace without excessive litter or people constantly walking by smoking pot which stinks

My dc row house also has a garden? And I have a community garden plot and I have hundreds of acres of parkland.

We had a front yard garden at our rowhouse but too tiny and the rats were so bad that we couldn't grow vegetables in our backyard. They came on the deck in BRIGHT DAYLIGHT to eat my herbs down to nubs. We had a community garden but it was a pain to manage our plot once I had kids. It's so much nicer to garden in peace in my own yard which isn't huge, but has plenty of space for the various plants my heart desires. And I deal with rabbits better than rats.

I also mentioned the living next to a hoarder/cockroach issue. There was more to that, but dear GOD, no more shared walls for us, never ever again.

Suburban bliss.

Yeah, puppy mills, pot farms and maga voters make great neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this question at all. People have preferences. Mine is to live in a place with ample room for my gardens, where I don't have to talk to people if I don't want to.

So, I live in the suburbs on 5 acres with lovely neighbors and no HOA, have my own pool, a pond, about to construct a bird pond, and spend my free time restoring native plants to what we own. We have zero debt (other than CC which is paid off montly). Most of our drives are 15-20 minutes away, both for kid's activities, as well as groceries and other stuff needed for life. The trade-off for the drive is that I can just as easily go to H-Mart as I can to Costco or Target. DH and I both work from home, so there is no routine commute or dealing with traffic.

When I was younger, we lived in NYC, and enjoyed it immensely. But at this stage in my life, city living is not what I want, so I don't live in the city. There is no failure with either choice, it's just a personal preference.

Five acre plots are exurbs or rural. Perfect for a weekend home.

See the ideology seeping through? Telling us we can't spend the majority of our time outside of the collective...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think living in a walkable suburb, close to metro, with good public schools and county services, but still close enough in to enjoy city amenities frequently is the dream for a lot of people (at least for me it is). I live along the orange line in Arlington and am so happy raising my family here. My house isn’t new and big, but it’s nicely updated with a yard big enough for kids to run around plus several parks within a less than half a mile walk. Not all suburbs are created equal.

That’s outside of dc limits but would be classified as urban.

Who cares no one is seeking your approval so you can keep your is it sufficiently urban test to yourself

Says the person drowning in a mortgage and three car payments enraged to find out that actually people do like living in quiet urban areas well served by public transport.

There are people who like living in non urban areas that do not have access to public transportation and they are not drowning in a mortgage or have a large car payment. They do not care that you find nonurban living offensive

I’m not offering my opinion unsolicited. The question was asked…