Boys are not all right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pumping them full of Ritalin and Adderall isn’t helping, when the better thing to do would be to get them off their Xboxes and outside running around.

OMG THIS!

BOY MOM. No devices and no drugs.

You’re both downright ignorant. You think ADHD isn’t real?
What if I said depression isn’t real? Anxiety isn’t real? You’re a fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet, men still run the g*d d*mn world.

Because you make the classic and fallacious assumption that hard work and conformity should pay off. You are woefully naive. Men run everything because many studies over the years have shown that men are far more willing to take risk. That risk includes things like starting businesses and engaging in entrepreneurship. You’re not going to be compensated a ton because you’re a good worker bee who followed all of the rules, obeyed all of their teachers, and does their corporate job from 9-5 well. This country has always rewarded risk takers, entrepreneurs, and inventors more than the conformist drones who do everything someone else told them to do in life.

dp.. I don't disagree, but that tells you that these boys who don't follow the rules in school will still, as a whole, end up ruling the world rather than the rule following girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet, men still run the g*d d*mn world.

Because you make the classic and fallacious assumption that hard work and conformity should pay off. You are woefully naive. Men run everything because many studies over the years have shown that men are far more willing to take risk. That risk includes things like starting businesses and engaging in entrepreneurship. You’re not going to be compensated a ton because you’re a good worker bee who followed all of the rules, obeyed all of their teachers, and does their corporate job from 9-5 well. This country has always rewarded risk takers, entrepreneurs, and inventors more than the conformist drones who do everything someone else told them to do in life.

So it’s not grades so why the concern?

Agree that the concerns may be somewhat overblown. At the same time, however, there are still going to be millions of conformist men who don't take risk. They still need appropriate levels of education.

It's a dog eat dog world. I see plenty of boys getting into great universities, and plenty of girls not getting into universities.

A lot of boys don't like academia, and that's fine. Not everyone needs to go to college. There are vocational trade paths that they can take. Be a plumber or hvac technician in the DC area; you can make bank off of high paid lawyers and doctors who can't/don't work on the house. Own a roofing company; there always seems to be someone in our neighborhood getting their roof done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the above PPs parents of girls only? I have a boy who is and will be well above average due to luck and privilege. But I can’t imagine being so cavalier and dismissive of other boy parents.

Give me a call when the President and Vice President are both women, the Supreme Court are all women, Wall Street and industry are led by women, the military, science, academia, medicine, etc.

Boys are fine. Even mediocre boys and men are advantaged over women.

Men and women are wired differently, whether you want to admit it or not. In our social circle made up of two professional households, roughly 50% of women are out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. Which is totally fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the above PPs parents of girls only? I have a boy who is and will be well above average due to luck and privilege. But I can’t imagine being so cavalier and dismissive of other boy parents.

Give me a call when the President and Vice President are both women, the Supreme Court are all women, Wall Street and industry are led by women, the military, science, academia, medicine, etc.

Boys are fine. Even mediocre boys and men are advantaged over women.

Men and women are wired differently, whether you want to admit it or not. In our social circle made up of two professional households, roughly 50% of women are out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. Which is totally fine.

It would be totally fine if 50% of parents were out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. No reason it should always be the women, especially now that is has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working in equal numbers to men. They should have the hang of equal responsibilities at home by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the above PPs parents of girls only? I have a boy who is and will be well above average due to luck and privilege. But I can’t imagine being so cavalier and dismissive of other boy parents.

Give me a call when the President and Vice President are both women, the Supreme Court are all women, Wall Street and industry are led by women, the military, science, academia, medicine, etc.

Boys are fine. Even mediocre boys and men are advantaged over women.

Men and women are wired differently, whether you want to admit it or not. In our social circle made up of two professional households, roughly 50% of women are out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. Which is totally fine.

It would be totally fine if 50% of parents were out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. No reason it should always be the women, especially now that is has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working in equal numbers to men. They should have the hang of equal responsibilities at home by now.

DP. No, not really. This is a choice of inclination. I chose to work part time, DH didn't. You don't get to tell me he should have, to suit your idea of equity.

The reason it is mostly the woman, especially now that it has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working, means that this is our choice, not forced by the patriarchy or by anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the above PPs parents of girls only? I have a boy who is and will be well above average due to luck and privilege. But I can’t imagine being so cavalier and dismissive of other boy parents.

Give me a call when the President and Vice President are both women, the Supreme Court are all women, Wall Street and industry are led by women, the military, science, academia, medicine, etc.

Boys are fine. Even mediocre boys and men are advantaged over women.

Men and women are wired differently, whether you want to admit it or not. In our social circle made up of two professional households, roughly 50% of women are out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. Which is totally fine.

It would be totally fine if 50% of parents were out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. No reason it should always be the women, especially now that is has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working in equal numbers to men. They should have the hang of equal responsibilities at home by now.

DP. No, not really. This is a choice of inclination. I chose to work part time, DH didn't. You don't get to tell me he should have, to suit your idea of equity.

The reason it is mostly the woman, especially now that it has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working, means that this is our choice, not forced by the patriarchy or by anyone else.

No, you're ignoring the effects of tax laws, maternity leave policies, privatized early child care, public school schedules, etc etc -- all of those are public policy choices, and public policies have historically been decided by men and are hard to change.

[Anonymous]

Probably the hyper focus on sports and not academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the above PPs parents of girls only? I have a boy who is and will be well above average due to luck and privilege. But I can’t imagine being so cavalier and dismissive of other boy parents.

Give me a call when the President and Vice President are both women, the Supreme Court are all women, Wall Street and industry are led by women, the military, science, academia, medicine, etc.

Boys are fine. Even mediocre boys and men are advantaged over women.

Men and women are wired differently, whether you want to admit it or not. In our social circle made up of two professional households, roughly 50% of women are out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. Which is totally fine.

It would be totally fine if 50% of parents were out of the workforce or take on a consultancy role by the times their kids are in high school. No reason it should always be the women, especially now that is has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working in equal numbers to men. They should have the hang of equal responsibilities at home by now.

DP. No, not really. This is a choice of inclination. I chose to work part time, DH didn't. You don't get to tell me he should have, to suit your idea of equity.

The reason it is mostly the woman, especially now that it has been a couple of generations since women have been going to college and working, means that this is our choice, not forced by the patriarchy or by anyone else.

No, you're ignoring the effects of tax laws, maternity leave policies, privatized early child care, public school schedules, etc etc -- all of those are public policy choices, and public policies have historically been decided by men and are hard to change.

I am not ignoring those. I have lots of friends in European countries where women are, by public policy, more equal. They are not more happy.

I made my choice, as did other women. You don't have to respect my choice individually but when many women make a choice for themselves, dismissing it means that you won't understand the issue properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pumping them full of Ritalin and Adderall isn’t helping, when the better thing to do would be to get them off their Xboxes and outside running around.

Best advice yet. Minimal screen time in our home and never ever video games. Activity activity activity. And we model that for our 3 boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pumping them full of Ritalin and Adderall isn’t helping, when the better thing to do would be to get them off their Xboxes and outside running around.

Actually, that is what is saving them. The boys whose ADHD is ignored or misdiagnosed are the ones they are writing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys are being held back by feminization and medication (Ritalin for being “antsy”). Let them be boys, have them spend time with fathers and other boys, and they’ll be just fine. They develop later academically, so don’t let them drop out, and let them read / do what they’re interested in. They’ll catch up.

No doctor is prescribing ritalin because a boy is 'antsy' ffs. Do some research into the brain chemistry of ADHD: there are differences in the structure, chemistry, and neural networks of the ADHD brain and abnormally low levels of the neurotransmitters transmitting between the prefrontal cortical area and the basal ganglia (dopamine and noradrenaline). That is what the medication helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pumping them full of Ritalin and Adderall isn’t helping, when the better thing to do would be to get them off their Xboxes and outside running around.

Best advice yet. Minimal screen time in our home and never ever video games. Activity activity activity. And we model that for our 3 boys.

Us too. But one of ours also has ADHD, so that is necessary, but insufficient because just removing video games does nothing to correct the problem in the brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are being held back by feminization and medication (Ritalin for being “antsy”). Let them be boys, have them spend time with fathers and other boys, and they’ll be just fine. They develop later academically, so don’t let them drop out, and let them read / do what they’re interested in. They’ll catch up.

No doctor is prescribing ritalin because a boy is 'antsy' ffs. Do some research into the brain chemistry of ADHD: there are differences in the structure, chemistry, and neural networks of the ADHD brain and abnormally low levels of the neurotransmitters transmitting between the prefrontal cortical area and the basal ganglia (dopamine and noradrenaline). That is what the medication helps.

When 25%+ of elementary school boys are taking ADHD stimulant meds, then yes, absolutely some/many of them are being prescribed merely because they are antsy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does excelling academically from a young age actually help girls? No matter how well girls do in school, they run into the same roadblocks in their careers, and the correlation between slightly higher grades and test scores, and professional success, just isn't there.

I mean, if we want to talk about whether boys are less happy than they used to be, or struggling more with executive function, I think that's an interesting conversation. But the fact that boys, on average, lag behind girls in school? I don't think it really impacts them much, and I think the pressure on girls to excel at school can be negative.

I wouldn't say the kids are all right, but I don't lose sleep over the fact that boys are getting slightly lower grades and test scores than girls in K-12.

Because excelling academically often means just reciting the same old BS the teacher tells you or memorizing a bunch of facts. Big whoop.

Women often miss the bigger picture. They always, allllways want higher powered jobs and leadership positions, but they always want someone else to do all of the hard grunt work of building a business from the ground up. Sorry, that's not the way the world works. You can be a straight A student all you want, but the risk takers in the world are going to be far more rewarded with innovation and building companies. It's really, really hard to be CEO or president of a company of all you do your whole life is go to school, get good grades, and try to climb the corporate ladder. If you want to be in charge and hold power, you need to be the person who actually builds the company from scratch. The problem is that women are often way more risk adverse than men. Numerous studies have shown that to be true in the investment world. It works well when it comes to investing in the stock market, but far more women than men want to take the risk of putting their life savings and homes on the line to start a company. And you wonder why later on there are less women in charge? Take more risk and stop whining. It's a dog eat dog world. There's very little reward for being a mindless Yes man or woman who obeys all of the rules doed what they're told in life. At most that might get you to middle management or director level roles, that's about it.

+1