"Died unexpectedly" in obit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

May I ask why you are so hostile?

It is human curiosity to inquire how people died. When I read "died unexpectedly" I do think overdoses. Obits go out of their way to avoid mentioning overdoses whereas for other deaths they're usually upfront. Including suicides ("took his life."

I write obituaries as part of my job. You are wrong. Plain and simple, you are wrong. Just like there is no wrong or right way to grieve, there is no wrong or right way for a family to decide what to share and what not to share in an obituary, nor is there a wrong way for a grieving family to find the word choices that work for them. I have written the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” and I have read the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” when I was a friend or close family member who knew the cause of death:
-Heart attack
-Horrible ATV accident
-Aneurysm
-Hit in the head by a tree branch
-Undiagnosed congenital heart defect, and the family didn’t want to wait for autopsy report before moving forward with funeral
-Child who accidentally choked at home
-Yes, accidental overdose
-Yes, suicide

You are incorrect to ASSume. Of course curiosity is natural—we all feel it. Kind, intelligent, respectful people go beyond their base instincts and act in a civilized manner, which is to say they do not feel entitled to private family information, they do not feel entitled to invade privacy of the family and of the deceased, and they do not dishonor the family and the deceased by gossiping and speculating. Those who gossip and speculate and spread rumors and false information and conspiracy theories are absolute garbage.

You are a sock puppet who has now posted 7 times in this thread pretending to be others. Next of kin writes obits, not other people. Nice try, loser.

Suicide- I guarnatee.

I have posted three times in this thread; this is now the fourth. A fact you can verify with Jeff. Go on, I’ll wait. Put up or shut up.

And yes dear, professional writers do, in fact, write obituaries. I’ve written obituaries for industry websites, newspapers, trade publications, and alumni magazines. You do realize that famous and influential people have obituaries that appear in notable outlets, correct? We’re done here.

[Anonymous]

I know a recent "died unexpectedly" who died of a heart attack.

This was 7/8/23 in the DMV in case we're thinking of the same person. It sounds like the obit should have been more specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I guess seeing someone retire early from a very lucrative position at such an early age makes me wonder if "retired" = "fired" because of a some mental or addiction problem, followed by suicide or OD soon thereafter.

You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a recent "died unexpectedly" who died of a heart attack.

This was 7/8/23 in the DMV in case we're thinking of the same person. It sounds like the obit should have been more specific.

No, it shouldn’t have. It is up to the family—and in some cases, the deceased who has made his or her wishes known beforehand—how much information to share, and in what way.

If you are close family or friends, if you are “inner circle,” you will know how someone died. If you are not, you may know months or years later, when someone in the inner circle chooses to share more. If not, you will have to content yourself with what is actually relevant to you: someone you know died, and you are welcome to read the obituary and reflect upon their life. If the funeral, visitation or other celebration of life are open to the public or you are invited, you are welcome to attend and pay your respects.

You are not entitled to a cause of death. Ever. Just like you aren’t entitled to know about people’s physical or mental health conditions while they are living.

Some people are private. Some families are private. People Are Different From You.

[Anonymous]

Hi

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

May I ask why you are so hostile?

It is human curiosity to inquire how people died. When I read "died unexpectedly" I do think overdoses. Obits go out of their way to avoid mentioning overdoses whereas for other deaths they're usually upfront. Including suicides ("took his life."

I write obituaries as part of my job. You are wrong. Plain and simple, you are wrong. Just like there is no wrong or right way to grieve, there is no wrong or right way for a family to decide what to share and what not to share in an obituary, nor is there a wrong way for a grieving family to find the word choices that work for them. I have written the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” and I have read the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” when I was a friend or close family member who knew the cause of death:
-Heart attack
-Horrible ATV accident
-Aneurysm
-Hit in the head by a tree branch
-Undiagnosed congenital heart defect, and the family didn’t want to wait for autopsy report before moving forward with funeral
-Child who accidentally choked at home
-Yes, accidental overdose
-Yes, suicide

You are incorrect to ASSume. Of course curiosity is natural—we all feel it. Kind, intelligent, respectful people go beyond their base instincts and act in a civilized manner, which is to say they do not feel entitled to private family information, they do not feel entitled to invade privacy of the family and of the deceased, and they do not dishonor the family and the deceased by gossiping and speculating. Those who gossip and speculate and spread rumors and false information and conspiracy theories are absolute garbage.

You are a sock puppet who has now posted 7 times in this thread pretending to be others. Next of kin writes obits, not other people. Nice try, loser.

Suicide- I guarnatee.

I have posted three times in this thread; this is now the fourth. A fact you can verify with Jeff. Go on, I’ll wait. Put up or shut up.

And yes dear, professional writers do, in fact, write obituaries. I’ve written obituaries for industry websites, newspapers, trade publications, and alumni magazines. You do realize that famous and influential people have obituaries that appear in notable outlets, correct? We’re done here.

I see I struck a nerve and now that you're called out, you are running and hiding.

DP. You are making an a$$ out of yourself. There are professionals who write obituaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I can think of 3 cases where “died suddenly” was used, and none of them were OD or suicide. One was a heart attack, one was a brain aneurysm and one was an infection that took awhile to diagnose post death.

[Anonymous]

My hometown newspaper never had cause of death in obituaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a recent "died unexpectedly" who died of a heart attack.

This was 7/8/23 in the DMV in case we're thinking of the same person. It sounds like the obit should have been more specific.

No, it shouldn’t have. It is up to the family—and in some cases, the deceased who has made his or her wishes known beforehand—how much information to share, and in what way.

If you are close family or friends, if you are “inner circle,” you will know how someone died. If you are not, you may know months or years later, when someone in the inner circle chooses to share more. If not, you will have to content yourself with what is actually relevant to you: someone you know died, and you are welcome to read the obituary and reflect upon their life. If the funeral, visitation or other celebration of life are open to the public or you are invited, you are welcome to attend and pay your respects.

You are not entitled to a cause of death. Ever. Just like you aren’t entitled to know about people’s physical or mental health conditions while they are living.

Some people are private. Some families are private. People Are Different From You.

Who do you think you are? To think you can lecture people on how they process traumatic information is really something else. You need to keep your mouth shut. Though you won't, despite hearing that you should your entire life.

The “trauma,” first and foremost, is experienced by family and close friends. If you aren’t inner circle, it’s not up to you. How gross of you to think you deserve more information than what the family is willing to share. A ding to your ego is not a trauma. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

May I ask why you are so hostile?

It is human curiosity to inquire how people died. When I read "died unexpectedly" I do think overdoses. Obits go out of their way to avoid mentioning overdoses whereas for other deaths they're usually upfront. Including suicides ("took his life."

I write obituaries as part of my job. You are wrong. Plain and simple, you are wrong. Just like there is no wrong or right way to grieve, there is no wrong or right way for a family to decide what to share and what not to share in an obituary, nor is there a wrong way for a grieving family to find the word choices that work for them. I have written the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” and I have read the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” when I was a friend or close family member who knew the cause of death:
-Heart attack
-Horrible ATV accident
-Aneurysm
-Hit in the head by a tree branch
-Undiagnosed congenital heart defect, and the family didn’t want to wait for autopsy report before moving forward with funeral
-Child who accidentally choked at home
-Yes, accidental overdose
-Yes, suicide

You are incorrect to ASSume. Of course curiosity is natural—we all feel it. Kind, intelligent, respectful people go beyond their base instincts and act in a civilized manner, which is to say they do not feel entitled to private family information, they do not feel entitled to invade privacy of the family and of the deceased, and they do not dishonor the family and the deceased by gossiping and speculating. Those who gossip and speculate and spread rumors and false information and conspiracy theories are absolute garbage.

You are a sock puppet who has now posted 7 times in this thread pretending to be others. Next of kin writes obits, not other people. Nice try, loser.

Suicide- I guarnatee.

I have posted three times in this thread; this is now the fourth. A fact you can verify with Jeff. Go on, I’ll wait. Put up or shut up.

And yes dear, professional writers do, in fact, write obituaries. I’ve written obituaries for industry websites, newspapers, trade publications, and alumni magazines. You do realize that famous and influential people have obituaries that appear in notable outlets, correct? We’re done here.

I see I struck a nerve and now that you're called out, you are running and hiding.

PP is telling you to check with the mod about your claim of sock-puppeting. You can do that in the Website Feedback forum, unless you’ve already realized you’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

May I ask why you are so hostile?

It is human curiosity to inquire how people died. When I read "died unexpectedly" I do think overdoses. Obits go out of their way to avoid mentioning overdoses whereas for other deaths they're usually upfront. Including suicides ("took his life."

I write obituaries as part of my job. You are wrong. Plain and simple, you are wrong. Just like there is no wrong or right way to grieve, there is no wrong or right way for a family to decide what to share and what not to share in an obituary, nor is there a wrong way for a grieving family to find the word choices that work for them. I have written the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” and I have read the following as “died unexpectedly/died suddenly,” when I was a friend or close family member who knew the cause of death:
-Heart attack
-Horrible ATV accident
-Aneurysm
-Hit in the head by a tree branch
-Undiagnosed congenital heart defect, and the family didn’t want to wait for autopsy report before moving forward with funeral
-Child who accidentally choked at home
-Yes, accidental overdose
-Yes, suicide

You are incorrect to ASSume. Of course curiosity is natural—we all feel it. Kind, intelligent, respectful people go beyond their base instincts and act in a civilized manner, which is to say they do not feel entitled to private family information, they do not feel entitled to invade privacy of the family and of the deceased, and they do not dishonor the family and the deceased by gossiping and speculating. Those who gossip and speculate and spread rumors and false information and conspiracy theories are absolute garbage.

You are a sock puppet who has now posted 7 times in this thread pretending to be others. Next of kin writes obits, not other people. Nice try, loser.

Suicide- I guarnatee.

I have posted three times in this thread; this is now the fourth. A fact you can verify with Jeff. Go on, I’ll wait. Put up or shut up.

And yes dear, professional writers do, in fact, write obituaries. I’ve written obituaries for industry websites, newspapers, trade publications, and alumni magazines. You do realize that famous and influential people have obituaries that appear in notable outlets, correct? We’re done here.

I see I struck a nerve and now that you're called out, you are running and hiding.

DP. You are making an a$$ out of yourself. There are professionals who write obituaries.

Well, I'm a DP and I agree 100% with him. Obit 'author' has a major stick up her you know what and for some odd reason thinks she owns the topic. She doesn't. And I'm enjoying her repeated responses while flailing. A nerve was most certainly struck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a recent "died unexpectedly" who died of a heart attack.

This was 7/8/23 in the DMV in case we're thinking of the same person. It sounds like the obit should have been more specific.

No, it shouldn’t have. It is up to the family—and in some cases, the deceased who has made his or her wishes known beforehand—how much information to share, and in what way.

If you are close family or friends, if you are “inner circle,” you will know how someone died. If you are not, you may know months or years later, when someone in the inner circle chooses to share more. If not, you will have to content yourself with what is actually relevant to you: someone you know died, and you are welcome to read the obituary and reflect upon their life. If the funeral, visitation or other celebration of life are open to the public or you are invited, you are welcome to attend and pay your respects.

You are not entitled to a cause of death. Ever. Just like you aren’t entitled to know about people’s physical or mental health conditions while they are living.

Some people are private. Some families are private. People Are Different From You.

Who do you think you are? To think you can lecture people on how they process traumatic information is really something else. You need to keep your mouth shut. Though you won't, despite hearing that you should your entire life.

The “trauma,” first and foremost, is experienced by family and close friends. If you aren’t inner circle, it’s not up to you. How gross of you to think you deserve more information than what the family is willing to share. A ding to your ego is not a trauma. Grow up.

Uhhh, you don't know who "you" is. Strike 2.

[Anonymous]

All it means is that the death was unexpected. That could mean suicide or overdose, but it could also mean accident, aneurism, heart attack or some other quick death. In fact, more and more I'm seeing suicides and overdoses reported honestly, using phrases like "after a long battle with depression/drug addiction".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. OK this is the last I'm going to post as I'm getting a lot of hate here. I actually admired this person professionally quite a bit and thought very highly of him. Hence why I was shocked at the facts. I'm fairly good at reading people and do remember detecting something off with him and it reminded me of someone else who did commit suicide. Anywho, let the hate continue.

Sure thing!
"Hence why" is a grammatical atrocity and people seriously need to cut it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I guess seeing someone retire early from a very lucrative position at such an early age makes me wonder if "retired" = "fired" because of a some mental or addiction problem, followed by suicide or OD soon thereafter.

You have an interesting bias in life. I would assume that the person was diagnosed with something terminal and decided to make his remaining time as meaningful as possible while he could, but the disease progressed much faster than expected.

+1

I was a fed and retired at 51. I know so many people who “died unexpectedly” of causes other than a suicide or OD. It could literally be anything, and the family does not need (or want) to share that with you. You are reading into this waaay too much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 50yr old in my neighborhood died and that is how his obit read. He had a heart attack.

I know someone who had a fall and it was worded that way too.

I know three people whose children killed themselves during the Covid lockdowns. That's how they all worded it. Not many 16 year olds have fatal heart attacks.

But the person OP is referring to is not a teenager.