If you had an affair with a married person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a long term, on and off affair with a woman at work.

Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? No

How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that. She started hitting on me and it went from there

Hopefully her husband finds out and beats the sh@t out of you. Likely he will dump her ho @ss. Men tend not to stick around when cheated on.

I’d love to see him try.

Why do you think she went outside her marriage?

Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle… He’s fat and out of shape.

If that’s what she’s married to and all she could get, she’s certainly not a winner or looker.

[Anonymous]

Based on the responses from all who did this, just a bunch of scumbags. Everyone that replied is exactly lthe type of person I’d exoe f to have zero qualms and zero remorse about sleeping/having an affair with a married man/woman or the fallout. Disgusting, morally bankrupt and self-centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

Totally off the rails. Nobody said that.

OP is asking if people that knowingly sleep with have affairs with married people feel anything for the spouse/kids—-guilt, remorse, etc?

Basically, the idea of doing that to someone else is beyond repugnant. Never have I banged someone married—and boy have I been hit on and offered. I don’t do married people, before or after my marriage.

Really scummy. This post wasn’t about the spouse, obviously that’s horrific—-it was directed at their accomplice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

Read the literature, even the most recent Hopkins study, it actually has ZERO to do with the marriage. Most men are very happy. They cheat for their own messed up reasons or just because they can in a 50-year marriage. It’s not the wife’s fault or the marriage.

A cheater is a person with no morals and horrible coping skills and very self-centered.

[Anonymous]

^ and there is always some whore available to affair down with. Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

What a bizarre reply. I didn't make any claim that the man in that scenario was an "innocent babe." I said he's a cheater who will cheat again. Nothing innocent or babyish about him. He's at fault for cheating on #1, and wife #2 is at fault for being a cheater herself AND a chump for buying what he's still selling her. Who said "it's someone else's fault when he cheats"? Not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

Read the literature, even the most recent Hopkins study, it actually has ZERO to do with the marriage. Most men are very happy. They cheat for their own messed up reasons or just because they can in a 50-year marriage. It’s not the wife’s fault or the marriage.

A cheater is a person with no morals and horrible coping skills and very self-centered.

Not the PP you're replying to, and I agree that cheaters are morality-free zones and self-centered. BUT please don't cite that Johns Hopkins study like it's real research. There is another thread about it right now. It was based on, can you believe it, interviews with men who use the Ashley Madison cheating site online. A cohort guaranteed to give a highly skewed set of responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

Read the literature, even the most recent Hopkins study, it actually has ZERO to do with the marriage. Most men are very happy. They cheat for their own messed up reasons or just because they can in a 50-year marriage. It’s not the wife’s fault or the marriage.

A cheater is a person with no morals and horrible coping skills and very self-centered.

Nailed it.

People are not infallible so I can see a one off situation after remorse, therapy and 180--coming back from a bad decision and fixing the marriage. They probably show remorse and feel for the betrayed spouse and family affected. The other type of cheater does it just because they can for the thrill and I don't think there's any coming back from that. Type 2 doesn't have remorse just sorry they got caught this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

LOL at the AP rationalizing their affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that.

Did you wish he/she would divorce or die so in your mind you could end up with them?

I’ve heard some really awful things from OW so just wondering anonymously what let you cross that line?

I got hit in a lot by married co-workers and others and my mind always went to their wife. I never wanted to do that to another woman, even ones I didn’t know. If things got heated, I’d distance and put up a wall. Things just don’t happen….

I worked in a hospital several years ago. One of the nurses went aggressively after a guy who was in a prestigious radiology fellowship. He was married with kids and his wife had supported him all through med school and residency, but he chose to break his vows. The nurse got pregnant and became wife #2. She’s popped out 2 more kids and is enjoying the good life now.

Her "good life" is bought at the cost of constantly knowing -- or obliviously trying to forget -- that , as the saying goes, "if he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Maybe she's convinced herself she's his one great love, of course. Hope she enjoys her delusion and the "good life" she thinks she and her kids have.

The man's marriage must not have been good if he's having unprotected sex with someone who isn't his wife. Some of you act like men are simply innocent babes roaming the Earth, unable to resist any sort of temptation. It's always someone else's fault when he cheats.

Read the literature, even the most recent Hopkins study, it actually has ZERO to do with the marriage. Most men are very happy. They cheat for their own messed up reasons or just because they can in a 50-year marriage. It’s not the wife’s fault or the marriage.

A cheater is a person with no morals and horrible coping skills and very self-centered.

Nailed it.

People are not infallible so I can see a one off situation after remorse, therapy and 180--coming back from a bad decision and fixing the marriage. They probably show remorse and feel for the betrayed spouse and family affected. The other type of cheater does it just because they can for the thrill and I don't think there's any coming back from that. Type 2 doesn't have remorse just sorry they got caught this time.

Your beloved husband is secretly screwing "whores" and you think he's coming back from it? Okay, whatever you need to tell yourself. Delusional.

[Anonymous]

I played the field a lot when I was a single woman and never had any interest in being with a married man. I sure as heck wouldn't have gone for a coworker -that is just plain dumb for so many reasons.

Bottom line is, I think that "the other woman" types tend to be low self esteemed individuals who attempt to inflate their own values/egos by stealing married men from their lawful wives. It's sad and pathetic and weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a long term, on and off affair with a woman at work.

Did you ever feel bad for the spouse (and/or kids)? No

How did you reconcile entering someone else’s family like that. She started hitting on me and it went from there

Hopefully her husband finds out and beats the sh@t out of you. Likely he will dump her ho @ss. Men tend not to stick around when cheated on.

I’d love to see him try.

Why do you think she went outside her marriage?

Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle… He’s fat and out of shape.

If that’s what she’s married to and all she could get, she’s certainly not a winner or looker.

I didn’t care. The sex was awesome and she was down for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it’s just sex and it doesn’t matter. The deceived spouse is better off not knowing.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Had a few married lovers when I was young. Never thought about the wife. It was just for fun - never thought of anything serious and I know they didn’t either. They are all still married, last I looked. I think wives and lovers really exist in different non overlapping universes.