Men, do you care if your wife puts effort into her appearance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is more into me being thin, in shape and dressing nice than my makeup. I don't think he cares about makeup or what my hair looks like.

so what do you wear around the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IME being slim matters more than being made-up. Men really don't care about makeup on a day-to-day basis.

Written by a woman. No man uses the word "slim' lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t comment either way. If I’m really working out and fit for me - no comment. I’ve gained 40 lbs in the last year - no comment. We have sex about 4x a week either way.

DH finds fit women who wear yoga pants very attractive. I never look good in yoga pants and don’t wear them. DH doesn’t say anything about the way I dress.

I don’t wear makeup or style hair at home or while running errands.

I think some men love their wives as people and don’t expect them to look like thin fitness models. [Yeah the same guy who thinks "I don't mind that she's not as thin as a fitness model" does not also think "I don't care that she put on 40lbs last year". He does care. He just doesn't know how to tell you about it. So I'll tell you: your diet is obviously terrible, put down the donuts, toots.] Sure, they’d like it if it happens. But they aren’t breaking up their families over this.

lol right now he's on reddit trying to get advice on how to get you to lose weight without having you bite his head off about it.

He probably cares, but he doesn’t treat me any differently. I don’t really see the point of busting my butt in the gym and forgoing dessert- DH doesn’t comment when I’m fit or fat.

In fact you should want to be fit for you and not for him or anyone else. The point of "busting your butt" is that it prevents a lot of health problems, reduces the seriousness of health problems if you have them, and improves the quality of your life as you get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend wants me to be naturally pretty. The problem is, I'm not, so I've always put effort into my hair and makeup. That worked for him (i.e. he thought it was natural) before we lived together, but now that he sees me actually getting ready, I think it turns him off. So now what? I know he objectively prefers me done up; he just wants to think it's natural.

now what? You break up. When/if you get pregnant, you will look worse. Then what? Will he step out on you because you don't look pretty enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As usual, a DCUM thread asking men what they think is mostly answered by women saying what they think men think or what they think men should think.

Yes, we care. But most likely we won't directly say anything about it unless you've gone downhill a long way. We know that if we say anything about you not looking nice, you'll get defensive and lash out at us.

because the forum skews towards women

Skews towards women who can't resist the urge to talk even when other women don't want them to talk.

if threads like this only wanted men to respond you get maybe 5 responses. Do you think men read the relationship forum other than for sex or divorce advice?

[Anonymous]

OP, most DHs will only notice if you put on a lot of weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can get away with being frumpy in the US because the competition is generally weak. In other countries, men simply won't date you because there are better options.

+1

[Anonymous]

For the DWs that do put in the effort, what do you wear around the house most days?

[Anonymous]

Many men don't even notice. It takes my husband weeks to comment on a new haircut or glasses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As usual, a DCUM thread asking men what they think is mostly answered by women saying what they think men think or what they think men should think.

Yes, we care. But most likely we won't directly say anything about it unless you've gone downhill a long way. We know that if we say anything about you not looking nice, you'll get defensive and lash out at us.

because the forum skews towards women

Skews towards women who can't resist the urge to talk even when other women don't want them to talk.

if threads like this only wanted men to respond you get maybe 5 responses. Do you think men read the relationship forum other than for sex or divorce advice?

If threads like this only wanted men to respond it would say "men" in the title. Oh wait, it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can get away with being frumpy in the US because the competition is generally weak. In other countries, men simply won't date you because there are better options.

+1

Never long before the mail-order bride betas come a-slithering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many men don't even notice. It takes my husband weeks to comment on a new haircut or glasses.

my DH doesn't even notice when I get my haircut.

Funny story: someone I work with virtually noticed my haircut instantly when I got on the video call (yes, a woman), but DH didn't even realize I got a haircut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As usual, a DCUM thread asking men what they think is mostly answered by women saying what they think men think or what they think men should think.

Yes, we care. But most likely we won't directly say anything about it unless you've gone downhill a long way. We know that if we say anything about you not looking nice, you'll get defensive and lash out at us.

because the forum skews towards women

Skews towards women who can't resist the urge to talk even when other women don't want them to talk.

if threads like this only wanted men to respond you get maybe 5 responses. Do you think men read the relationship forum other than for sex or divorce advice?

If threads like this only wanted men to respond it would say "men" in the title. Oh wait, it does.

ok, and like I said, OP would get like 5 responses, if even that much, over 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As usual, a DCUM thread asking men what they think is mostly answered by women saying what they think men think or what they think men should think.

Yes, we care. But most likely we won't directly say anything about it unless you've gone downhill a long way. We know that if we say anything about you not looking nice, you'll get defensive and lash out at us.

because the forum skews towards women

Skews towards women who can't resist the urge to talk even when other women don't want them to talk.

if threads like this only wanted men to respond you get maybe 5 responses. Do you think men read the relationship forum other than for sex or divorce advice?

If threads like this only wanted men to respond it would say "men" in the title. Oh wait, it does.

ok, and like I said, OP would get like 5 responses, if even that much, over 2 weeks.

OP must be quite content with female responses as we get near daily threads with inane inquiries about what men like…

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Staying fit is the main one for me, but yes I love when she also looks nice.