Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my circle women’s college and profession matters but once married, it’s usually her decision if she wants to work or stay home after kids, men are okay with both choices. Men with high IQ tend to enjoy beauty but they crave intelligence.

Same.

This is what I've noticed. Career accomplishments optional, education not.

All things said "education"/ "intelligence"/ "success" is shorthand for other capacities and character traits that may come in handy when building a life with someone.

No. Educated men generally marry educated women because they meet them in school or in the same social circles. But education is not a must-have criteria. Most men would trade in an educated woman whose looks had declined for a hot, kind, great-in-bed woman. In fact, high status men often do just that after divorcing their first wife.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter what she does for a living, if she’s smart and we share a similar sense of humor her career or income make zero difference to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here —

Career doesn’t matter but education does.

The ideal woman attends a t10, majors in a humanities or social science, works for a few years in a self actualizing sector, then shift to part time.

Dutch women have this down to a science.

Check out how Dutch women approach work and life

💯

? what? why humanities? This reeks of misogyny to me.. like the stereotype of marrying a preK teacher or something Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my circle women’s college and profession matters but once married, it’s usually her decision if she wants to work or stay home after kids, men are okay with both choices. Men with high IQ tend to enjoy beauty but they crave intelligence.

Same.

This is what I've noticed. Career accomplishments optional, education not.

All things said "education"/ "intelligence"/ "success" is shorthand for other capacities and character traits that may come in handy when building a life with someone.

No. Educated men generally marry educated women because they meet them in school or in the same social circles. But education is not a must-have criteria. Most men would trade in an educated woman whose looks had declined for a hot, kind, great-in-bed woman. In fact, high status men often do just that after divorcing their first wife.

I guess they don't care if they have dumb children. Mother's education/intelligence greatly impacts the child's intelligence.

[Anonymous]

How many men we see become expat, join foreign service or military etc and their wives leave their solid careers, family and friends to move with them vs how few men would be willing to do the same for their wives? Women are conditioned to sacrifice, men are not and world is set up to support these choices. It’s just like a standard life is set up for a family of 4 with one dedicate of at least partially dedicated person shouldering 75% of the family responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my circle women’s college and profession matters but once married, it’s usually her decision if she wants to work or stay home after kids, men are okay with both choices. Men with high IQ tend to enjoy beauty but they crave intelligence.

Same.

This is what I've noticed. Career accomplishments optional, education not.

All things said "education"/ "intelligence"/ "success" is shorthand for other capacities and character traits that may come in handy when building a life with someone.

No. Educated men generally marry educated women because they meet them in school or in the same social circles. But education is not a must-have criteria. Most men would trade in an educated woman whose looks had declined for a hot, kind, great-in-bed woman. In fact, high status men often do just that after divorcing their first wife.

I guess they don't care if they have dumb children. Mother's education/intelligence greatly impacts the child's intelligence.

This^ is a genuine issue. If you want your kids to be smart and successful, finding a high IQ mother/father with good educatio background is the key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many men we see become expat, join foreign service or military etc and their wives leave their solid careers, family and friends to move with them vs how few men would be willing to do the same for their wives? Women are conditioned to sacrifice, men are not and world is set up to support these choices. It’s just like a standard life is set up for a family of 4 with one dedicate of at least partially dedicated person shouldering 75% of the family responsibilities.

and that's why we have this:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1033269.page

[Anonymous]

My typos prove my case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my circle women’s college and profession matters but once married, it’s usually her decision if she wants to work or stay home after kids, men are okay with both choices. Men with high IQ tend to enjoy beauty but they crave intelligence.

Same.

This is what I've noticed. Career accomplishments optional, education not.

All things said "education"/ "intelligence"/ "success" is shorthand for other capacities and character traits that may come in handy when building a life with someone.

No. Educated men generally marry educated women because they meet them in school or in the same social circles. But education is not a must-have criteria. Most men would trade in an educated woman whose looks had declined for a hot, kind, great-in-bed woman. In fact, high status men often do just that after divorcing their first wife.

I guess they don't care if they have dumb children. Mother's education/intelligence greatly impacts the child's intelligence.

This^ is a genuine issue. If you want your kids to be smart and successful, finding a high IQ mother/father with good educatio background is the key.

Yes, but as the ^PP stated, those men only care about how much sex they are getting, and not about their kids.

[Anonymous]

So I asked mine and he said attraction is non-negotiable and also someone with a similar background. We met in college (Ivy) and we're both trust funders. Mine also cared about athletic abilities - everyone in his family is big into sports, they all played in college and he wanted athletic kids. TBH, none of our college friends married poor and uneducated. Different race? Absolutely. Our close friend is a white Midwestern surgeon and married a gorgeous Ethiopian girl, but she is a hospital executive with a Duke MBA, not a nurse aid. In Asian families, marrying someone with similar backgrounds and education is a given. Our DC1 has been dating only smart girls from affluent backgrounds, simply because this was the demographic at his HS and also college. I'm also a huge believer in marrying someone with a similar background (wealth, education, and religion).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All things being equal, I think well-educated men with good careers prefer to date/marry well-educated women with good careers. Attractiveness vs. career probably varies by person.

The bigger question isn't who they date/marry, though. It's what they do afterward. I think that for many men their ideal is a well-educated, high-earning woman whose career doesn't require any sacrifices on his part. See the thread about the woman whose spouse forgot to pick up their kid from aftercare because "he had a meeting", nevermind that the woman ended up having to cancel a meeting to rush over there.

DH and I are well-off enough that I can hire help to outsource a lot of household demands, but I've still actively chosen less-demanding roles partially because I know he won't fully step up. I've got enough of a unique skillset that I still make a high income, but I've turned down almost double to avoid our family life falling apart.

You are every educated upper middle class career oriented men’s dream women.

I’m the PP whose husband actually fully participates in running his own house and raising his own kids bc he’s a good partner who values my career happiness. This made me throw up in my mouth. You need to either make enough money to fully support a comfortable SAHM lifestyle, or f***ing pull your weight in your own house. You expect all the benefits of a highly educated intelligent woman giving up her own career to run your house, but you can’t or won’t pay the real cost of that, so instead you just sit there and happily watch your wife get the worst of both worlds. So gross!

Thank you! This attitude is so incredibly gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my circle women’s college and profession matters but once married, it’s usually her decision if she wants to work or stay home after kids, men are okay with both choices. Men with high IQ tend to enjoy beauty but they crave intelligence.

Same.

This is what I've noticed. Career accomplishments optional, education not.

All things said "education"/ "intelligence"/ "success" is shorthand for other capacities and character traits that may come in handy when building a life with someone.

No. Educated men generally marry educated women because they meet them in school or in the same social circles. But education is not a must-have criteria. Most men would trade in an educated woman whose looks had declined for a hot, kind, great-in-bed woman. In fact, high status men often do just that after divorcing their first wife.

I guess they don't care if they have dumb children. Mother's education/intelligence greatly impacts the child's intelligence.

Umm they do care. They usually have children with wife #1 and divorce around 50 when his wife has already done all the hard work of parenting and right as he’s reaching his career peak. Wife #2 is for him to feel like a big shot with a younger woman and convince himself he’s still young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, they’ll say they do. That’s the socially acceptable thing to say.

But would they move for your huge promotion or cover for you if your travel ramps up or manage the nanny and schedule more? Or just complain and shut down?

My husband did. He moved jobs, he covers for me when I travel, he manages the nanny. I would say our career paths are about equal. Definitely something I screened for while dating. Our careers are about equal in terms of both status and flexibility, which works well for the family.

[Anonymous]

Most men do care about how much money a woman makes, because most men are not high earners. The top 5% in the DC metro region make $250k+. For the 95% of men who make less than $250k, they need a spouse that makes a salary. At this income level, life is noticeably better when you have two solid incomes vs one income or an income that is low.

Very wealthy men don’t care about a woman’s care. And they marry for a status symbol. They want a woman in the top 5% in beauty.

[Anonymous]

I think this is hard for many women to accept. But good sex is really the most important quality in a wife. A man will stay in a marriage if the sex is good, even if a lot other things are lacking. But once the sex is lacking, a man will be thinking about heading for the exit every day even if his wife is educated/successful and a nice person.