Wife wears sweatpants every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman, and really surprised by how many people jumped on the OP.. I disagree that A. sweatpants look good on anybody, B. OP can't express how he feels, and C. he can't ask for something to change so he feels better.

OP, I'd focus on the fact that your wife didn't want to get dressed up to go on a date. I would talk to her and say you're worried about her mental health because she doesn't want to go on a date with you, is she okay, does she need help finding a therapist to talk with, etc.

OP here. I apologize for not being clear. My wife will go out on a date, but a date at a place where sweatpants are generally frowned upon is no-go.

Thank you for clarifying. That's still an issue to be addressed. How far does this go? Would she refuse to attend a wedding because sweatpants would be frowned upon? A funeral? Jury duty (although I've seen defendants wearing sweatpants there)?

[Anonymous]

I am a female and I believe you have a right to be upset. No one wears sweats to a nice restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman, and really surprised by how many people jumped on the OP.. I disagree that A. sweatpants look good on anybody, B. OP can't express how he feels, and C. he can't ask for something to change so he feels better.

OP, I'd focus on the fact that your wife didn't want to get dressed up to go on a date. I would talk to her and say you're worried about her mental health because she doesn't want to go on a date with you, is she okay, does she need help finding a therapist to talk with, etc.

OP here. I apologize for not being clear. My wife will go out on a date, but a date at a place where sweatpants are generally frowned upon is no-go.

Thank you for clarifying. That's still an issue to be addressed. How far does this go? Would she refuse to attend a wedding because sweatpants would be frowned upon? A funeral? Jury duty (although I've seen defendants wearing sweatpants there)?

My wife would not wear sweatpants to a wedding, funeral, or job interview. She has not attended any of those events since COVID started. She has worn sweatpants to jury duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On days my dh works from home, he wears sweat pants. Seeing him in such casual attire stresses me out for some reason. I'm a sahm and have showered, styled my hair and dressed myself in structured clothing every single day without fail all through the pandemic. I do it for myself. I refuse to be a slob or let myself go to sh1t even though everyone else apparently is.

You do realize you have serious anxiety, right?

Also just sounds like you have nothing to do, unlike the OP's DW who is working, as is your DH.

Nothing to do? That's a little harsh, isn't it? She has to shower herself, style her hair, use hubby's credit card to buy structured clothes, and sit around judging "everyone else" for letting themselves go. That's a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

This thread is funny because my husband has been extremely supportive of me wearing sweatpants every day during the pandemic. He wants me to be comfortable and take care of myself. He actually bought me a really luxurious pair of sweats for Christmas last year and I wore them almost daily for months (washed regularly, for the record).

But! I love getting dressed up and going on dates with my DH, and during the early part of the pandemic I really really missed this and longed for excuses to wear prettier clothes. I have initiated all of our date nights in the last year or so because it's something that's important to me. DH is game for it though -- it's not something he needs but he wants me to be happy.

When we go out on dates these days, though, we definitely come home earlier than we used to and I gotta say the couch calls out a lot stronger than it used to. Little kids are exhausting and the pandemic is exhausting and sometimes you just got to put on sweats and lie the eff down.

I guess what I'm saying is: talk to your DW about how you feel OP, but also recognize that her clothing choices obviously reflect how she's feeling and what makes her comfortable. See if you can find a way to support her in that.

[Anonymous]

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is a sensitive topic, but what the hell.

Both my wife and I are in good shape physically. We both work hard and have two kids in elementary school. But since she started working from home back when COVID started, she has never not worn sweatpants or pajamas. This has started to annoy me, perhaps unreasonably. Last week I asked "Hey, how about we dress up a little bit and go on a date?" The answer was like nope, I want to be comfortable, only wearing sweatpants. Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off?

Is she hot? If so, then don't worry about it. My wife wears sweat pants all the time, but as soon as the kids are out of the house for school, we slide them off, and then who cares what she had been wearing?

We aren't talking about you!

[Anonymous]

I am your wife. I hate wearing fitted clothing. I don’t like people looking a me, being on display, and being so exposed. I wear leisure pants, jeans, t-shirts and sweaters. No yoga pants unless actively working out.

Don’t make the clothing a deal breaker to having fun with your wife. I took my husband to a $300 dinner for his birthday. I wore loose colored jeans and a bulky sweater. We had a great time. Lots of sex when we got home.

DH asked if I wanted to go to see a show at the Kennedy Center. I declined. It wouldn’t be fun for me at all and I’d hate having to dress up to that level. We saw a local band instead. I loved it.

Can you just love her for who she is and not require her to dress for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with you, OP, but I also don't think you're crazy controlling or entitled. You are allowed to have your preferences, and she is allowed to ignore those preferences.

Have you raised this with her head-on? Not in the round-about way you mention in your post ("dress up for a date"). This is your spouse, you can talk to her. No crazy demands or ultimatums, of course. You can acknowledge that her comfort is her prerogative while respectfully noting that you miss seeing her in slightly more formal clothing. GL.

It’s one thing to have a preference, it’s another thing to get mad about somebody not catering to your preferences.

Where does it say in the OP that he's mad? He said he's annoyed. Are you making things up for drama or something? (Oh wait, it's DCUM! Of course you are.)

dp this is from the op: Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off? In my world piss offed is angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On days my dh works from home, he wears sweat pants. Seeing him in such casual attire stresses me out for some reason. I'm a sahm and have showered, styled my hair and dressed myself in structured clothing every single day without fail all through the pandemic. I do it for myself. I refuse to be a slob or let myself go to sh1t even though everyone else apparently is.

You do realize you have serious anxiety, right?

Also just sounds like you have nothing to do, unlike the OP's DW who is working, as is your DH.

Yes. It’s a big difference if you are working. I took two weeks off at Xmas and had so much time on my hands to get dressed in structured clothing….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am your wife. I hate wearing fitted clothing. I don’t like people looking a me, being on display, and being so exposed. I wear leisure pants, jeans, t-shirts and sweaters. No yoga pants unless actively working out.

Don’t make the clothing a deal breaker to having fun with your wife. I took my husband to a $300 dinner for his birthday. I wore loose colored jeans and a bulky sweater. We had a great time. Lots of sex when we got home.

DH asked if I wanted to go to see a show at the Kennedy Center. I declined. It wouldn’t be fun for me at all and I’d hate having to dress up to that level. We saw a local band instead. I loved it.

Can you just love her for who she is and not require her to dress for you?

Kennedy center isn't as dressed up as you think especially if you go to a matinee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman, and really surprised by how many people jumped on the OP.. I disagree that A. sweatpants look good on anybody, B. OP can't express how he feels, and C. he can't ask for something to change so he feels better.

OP, I'd focus on the fact that your wife didn't want to get dressed up to go on a date. I would talk to her and say you're worried about her mental health because she doesn't want to go on a date with you, is she okay, does she need help finding a therapist to talk with, etc.

OP here. I apologize for not being clear. My wife will go out on a date, but a date at a place where sweatpants are generally frowned upon is no-go.

Thank you for clarifying. That's still an issue to be addressed. How far does this go? Would she refuse to attend a wedding because sweatpants would be frowned upon? A funeral? Jury duty (although I've seen defendants wearing sweatpants there)?

Hey, I am not going to get dressed up for jury duty. This does not have to be addressed just because you say so. So who cares if she doesn't want to go to a wedding? And the dead don't care that you wear sweatpants...lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is a sensitive topic, but what the hell.

Both my wife and I are in good shape physically. We both work hard and have two kids in elementary school. But since she started working from home back when COVID started, she has never not worn sweatpants or pajamas. This has started to annoy me, perhaps unreasonably. Last week I asked "Hey, how about we dress up a little bit and go on a date?" The answer was like nope, I want to be comfortable, only wearing sweatpants. Am I being ridiculous that this is starting to piss me off?

If she won't go on a fancy date with you, you have bigger problems. Refocus yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in yoga pants most days. Even when I’m not teaching yoga. But, I do dress up if we go out on a date.

Yoga pants are a totally different animal, esp if DW is super fit. Then, PLEASE wear them every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I am a woman and all these women criticizing you need to sit down![/b] Your wife would be writing in too if you stopped caring about how you looked or what you wore or refused to dress up on date night! Because it's a woman they all say you are entitled, superficial, etc. I say start wearing pajamas everyday or be honest with how you feel. These self righteous women need to just stop.

Ugh he literally asked if he was being ridiculous. If you take your advice than you wouldn't be coming on here to express your opinion. What makes your opinion worth so much more? And btw, the wife would probably be relieved if he started to wear pjs. So go away troll