Just inconsiderate?

[Anonymous]

Was I in the wrong somehow with this? I RARELY say anything to my DH when he does things that get under my skin-- there are plenty but I generally just try to let them go, thinking not a big deal in grand scheme. But last night, after changing out of work clothes, he laid down on our bed to pet the cat-- with his bare feet on my pillow. It just seemed so gross and inconsiderate to me. I said," would you not put your feet on my pillow?" Very quiet casual tone. He gave me a withering look, abruptly left the room, and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the evening. I truly am not a nagging wife. Believe me when I say I overlook a lot of things from him that I think most people would complain about.

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't bother me at all, but I'm not picky about these things.

I think the bigger issue is that you are likely giving off an "I don't like you" vibe to him. It sounds like your marriage is in trouble.

[Anonymous]

The bare feet on my pillow would bother me also. But if he had that kind of reaction there is something else wrong. Talk to him about it. Maybe there is something he is stressed about at work and just that comment set him off. You need to find out why.

[Anonymous]

You should have then picked a long huge fight with him. Ignoring you for the whole evening? What a jerk!
I let a lot of stuff go with my DH too but it sounds like you stuff everything in to keep him from acting like a 2 year old. That's a big problem. You should not have to be a Stepford wife to be married to someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bare feet on my pillow would bother me also. But if he had that kind of reaction there is something else wrong. Talk to him about it. Maybe there is something he is stressed about at work and just that comment set him off. You need to find out why.

This. Maybe he just had a stressful day and his first encounter at home, instead of being a nice one, was critical. Maybe you're more nagging than you realize. I wouldn't like it either, but I probably would have taken the pillow out from under his feet while laughing and saying "gross! don't put your feet on my pillow. I don't want to smell stinky feet all night!!" while hitting him on the butt with the pillow. Which would have started a pillow fight, laughing, and eased whatever mood he might have been in before. I've done something similar before.

Regardless, if this set him off, sounds like something is going on. Just try talking to him in a non accusatory way.

[Anonymous]

Feet on the pillow is gross.

I love how the PP suggests turning every comment into a fun pillow fight! Maybe OP should have enticed him to move his feet off her pillow with a blow job? Now that's something nice to come home to amiright?

Never mind that she's also tired after a long day at work. Then the first thing she sees when she walks into the house is her husband putting his nasty feet on her pillow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feet on the pillow is gross.

I love how the PP suggests turning every comment into a fun pillow fight! Maybe OP should have enticed him to move his feet off her pillow with a blow job? Now that's something nice to come home to amiright?

Never mind that she's also tired after a long day at work. Then the first thing she sees when she walks into the house is her husband putting his nasty feet on her pillow.

Oh please, I'm the pillow fight poster and you're kind of making a leap. I said it was gross, but not that gross that its going to piss me off. So there are 2 options, I can be annoyed, get annoyed at DH and then he and I can both be in a grumpy mood after a long day of work. Or, I can be playfully annoyed at him, we can joke around, and the laughing brings us both to a good mood. Dh and I choose the second option. We are both more laid back anyways so something like this would garner a more of a "ew you're gross!" type reaction than "omg that's disgusting. Take your nasty feet off my pillow now" .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feet on the pillow is gross.

I love how the PP suggests turning every comment into a fun pillow fight! Maybe OP should have enticed him to move his feet off her pillow with a blow job? Now that's something nice to come home to amiright?

Never mind that she's also tired after a long day at work. Then the first thing she sees when she walks into the house is her husband putting his nasty feet on her pillow.

Oh please, I'm the pillow fight poster and you're kind of making a leap. I said it was gross, but not that gross that its going to piss me off. So there are 2 options, I can be annoyed, get annoyed at DH and then he and I can both be in a grumpy mood after a long day of work. Or, I can be playfully annoyed at him, we can joke around, and the laughing brings us both to a good mood. Dh and I choose the second option. We are both more laid back anyways so something like this would garner a more of a "ew you're gross!" type reaction than "omg that's disgusting. Take your nasty feet off my pillow now" .

DW here and I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I nag a lot either but my DH would probably disagree.

[Anonymous]

How much do you touch him generally? If my wife was seeking out contact with me frequently but simply didn't like my freshly-out-of-work-shoes feet on her pillow, that wouldn't bug me.

But, if she mostly avoided physical contact with me, then reacted like part of my body was a toxic dump getting near her precious pillow, I'd probably react negatively.

[Anonymous]

Yeah PP but it's not just "a part of the body," it's sweaty, potentially stinky, post-work FEET. A lot of people - I dare say a majority - would find that gross.

OP I have been in your shoes and did not say it so delicately, because that is gross and why an adult would put their feet on someone else's pillow is beyond me. Be polite!! Your husband's response was disproportionate - why I cannot say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feet on the pillow is gross.

I love how the PP suggests turning every comment into a fun pillow fight! Maybe OP should have enticed him to move his feet off her pillow with a blow job? Now that's something nice to come home to amiright?

Never mind that she's also tired after a long day at work. Then the first thing she sees when she walks into the house is her husband putting his nasty feet on her pillow.

Oh please, I'm the pillow fight poster and you're kind of making a leap. I said it was gross, but not that gross that its going to piss me off. So there are 2 options, I can be annoyed, get annoyed at DH and then he and I can both be in a grumpy mood after a long day of work. Or, I can be playfully annoyed at him, we can joke around, and the laughing brings us both to a good mood. Dh and I choose the second option. We are both more laid back anyways so something like this would garner a more of a "ew you're gross!" type reaction than "omg that's disgusting. Take your nasty feet off my pillow now" .

I think OP is more of the mind (thus the inconsiderate) as to why would someone even do this? It is completely inconsiderate. Are some people just not aware?

[Anonymous]

That was gross. I'd have changed my pillowcase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was gross. I'd have changed my pillowcase.

This is what I'd do. I wouldn't say anything to him. Not a big deal. Not worth making it a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was gross. I'd have changed my pillowcase.

This is what I'd do. I wouldn't say anything to him. Not a big deal. Not worth making it a big deal.

"Please don't put your feet on my pillow" is hardly "making it a big deal."