wwyd if you loved the school in general but not the teacher?

[Anonymous]

hi folks:

just looking for perspectives on our current situation. we love everything about our current preschool except ds's teacher. we can't decide if we should just stick it out or not, given that our child will potentially attend this school for 3 more years and it has lots to offer besides this one mediocre teacher. (only one room for his age group, btw, so can't switch classes).

thoughts?

[Anonymous]

how long will your child be in this teacher's classroom? why don't you like the teacher? my answer would depend on the answers to those questions.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the principal/director. If you are comfortable with the school, the director, and the director's view of the situation (as it seems you are), I'd just live with it. Just make sure the teacher isn't moving up.

Mediocre isn't actually damaging.

You won't like all of your child's teachers and you won't be able to "solve" that problem every time - nor should you. In fact, some teachers you don't like will be adored by other parents and might just be a bad fit.

[Anonymous]

Another thing that you might have to think about is that depending on where you live, you might not have many options or at least not many immediate options as so many places have waiting lists to get in.

Like PP said, you won't like all of your child's teachers. And, once you hit public elementary schools, you have very little say as to whom your child has for a teacher. While you can affect this during preschool years by moving your child, it's not likely that you will find a place where you are happy with everyone that your child has for a period of a few years. So if moving your child is your solution, one move isn't likely to resolve the entire preschool education of your child.

One thing that I learned over the years of having kids in preschool and school is that even the people that I haven't liked were good for my children. There is one teacher in particular that I had a lot of reservations about and my son just thrived in his year with her.

Anyway, to answer your question, for me, unless there is a systemic problem with the school or I think harm will come to my child by keeping them in the less desirable situation, I wouldn't move them.

[Anonymous]

What is it that you don't like about her? Are there things that you can talk to her or to the director to work on changing, like communication style?

[Anonymous]

op:

thanks for the good advice.

she just doesn't seem to "get" 2yos. she expects way too much of them and then over-reacts if her expectations are not meant. there is a lot of behavior control/discipline going on the classroom. she is often (too often) saying some version of "don't do this" and "don't do that." i don't like her general tone with the chidlren; she treats them as if they are an annoyance or inconvenience. she also seems to think that when a child is getting sick or has an off-day, that something terrible has happened to her (as if how dare a 2yo have a cranky day and cause me difficulty?).

at the same time, she is energetic and will move around with the kids a lot (dance, sing, physical play) which i think is a very good thing.

[Anonymous]

I think the reasons you list merit a discussion with the school's director. The teacher seems to lack real child development skills, and I'd be wary of anyone who relies on fear as a control mechanism. No child can learn or thrive in the presence of fear. Anyone (well, practically) can sing and dance and get two-year olds to laugh, but the truly talented teachers shine when the going gets tough.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I think that as a parent, I don't expect enough of my children. For this reason, when I am surprised at how high a teacher sets the bar, I find myself watching to see if the kids can meet the high expectations that have been sent - and typically they do. As a result of seeing this time and time again, when I see a teacher that has expectations that I initially think are too high, I examine my own thinking to see whether it is me or the teacher that has it wrong. Afterall, while they will never know my kids as well as I do (I hope), they have so much more experience with kids of the age that they teach than I ever wlll.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I had a similar situation. Is this an all day preschool? What are the teachers like for 3-4s? Can you ask other parents who have kids in the 3-4 area what they think of the situation for that age group? Is there any possibility of transitioning early or are you on an academic year? In my case I thought the teacher was extremely moody and had expectations that weren't high-they were instead age inappropriate. I heard complaints that my 2.5 year old didn't nap long enough, that she had a potty accident, etc. etc. I would expect a teacher experienced with that age group would take those things in stride. It made me very uncomfortable but we stuck it out, mainly because I had to work and had no other options. It wasn't until my daughter moved to the next room that I realized how stressed out she'd been in her previous classroom. For a while she'd been coming home repeating things that let me know she was not in a child friendly place, things like: You're giving me a headache, You can't use green paint you must use red, etc. Anyway, I sympathize with your discomfort in this situation. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

op: to the above poster--this is the exact situation that we are in! and my dd does come home repeating phrases like "be quiet." i am worried that she is anxious....i've asked around and it seems like most everyone is satisfied with the other teachers in the school. it is an all-day school. my sense is that it can be inconsistent and that that is a management/leadership problem. now i don't know what to do...

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, this is the 21:14 poster again. I don't suppose this teacher is originally from Eastern Europe?

[Anonymous]

Nope. She is American.