Advice on daycare situation - long

[Anonymous]

I wonder if I could ask for advice - I am having such trouble making
a decision for a 3 month old.

I need to go back to work on July 1, for 2 days to start and increasing
gradually to full time.

We applied to the Child Development Center at the baptist church on 16th Street
DC and yesterday they told us we have a space. Today we went to visit it again,
and its fine - not great, but fine. The teachers are nice, the other babies
looked ok, the facility and equipment is just ok - nothing great.

BUT one teacher was rocking two babies to sleep in bouncy seats, and I saw her
give the bottle of one baby to the other (!!!!). I spoke to the director, who
said "this shouldn't happen...all the bottles are labeled with the babies
name...if you are having doubts I'll give to until tomorrow to make up your
mind".

The daycare is super-convenient to both mine and my husbands offices - I could
go and breastfeed during my lunch hour, we could be there in a matter of minutes
if needed, and never have to worry about late fees... it would also help me
increase my hours knowing she was so close.

Our other options is a part time nanny to start the 2 days a week, and we would
need to find a full time nanny share over the next few months.

So my question is, would you compromise your care for a 3 month old (although
the care is NOT bad, except the bottle incident), for the sake of closeness? Or
does the separation get easier on the mom? I am feeling so overwhelmed by this
decision, and any help really appreciated. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Hi, I caught a teacher trying to feed my baby another baby's bottle twice and made a fuss over it. But it was just a quick incident both times, and she apologized. These things happen once in a while, but shouldn't. I would not suggest it is unusual for mistakes to happen like that. You're new to this and you're freaking out. Don't worry, if everything else seems fine with the center, I would proceed and see how it goes. You can always switch back to a nanny or other options if it is not working out. ALWAYS have a backup plan and your name on one or two other suitable waiting lists just in case. Also, just do something big and different about labeling your baby's bottles to help keep them straight. Maybe get some labels made from www.stuckonyou.biz , or put ribbons on them or something out of the ordinary so that your bottles really stand out from the crowd. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I think I'd be freaked out by the bottle incident, but it's a really personal decision whether you take the spot or not. Do the caregivers seem loving in general? If not, I think I'd go with the nanny.

I agree with PP on permanent, unique labels for your baby bottles. And definitely agree with having a backup plan in place no matter what choice you make.

It "does" get easier, but never 100% easy, if you know what I mean. I still miss my kid like crazy some days, and he's 2 1/2 now. But it makes a huge difference if you really trust the caregiver you find. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

How many babies does each adult have at the daycare center?

[Anonymous]

It goes by the law - 1 adult to 4 infants.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't freak out, but it would bother me to see something like this on a tour. I have friends with kids at First Baptist, and they've been pretty happy with it. You can do a search on the forums for feedback.

You might post a query on the daycare forum for current infant room parent feedback on the center - you'll probably get some responses.

To keep your kid from having a feeding mistake- I'd use those rubber slip-on labels (bumpy labels?) and buy bottles that are a bit unusual so that they stand out. Adiri comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

If the ratio if 1 to 4, then I would take another close look. 4 infants are really a lot for one caregiver to handle and that means that little mistakes will happen and your infant will not get as much attention. Even if the caregiver is really great and loving, she only has 2 hands.

But, no childcare situation is perfect, and you have to pick and choose which is more important to you. And being close is a big factor - not only for convenience, but it means you will be able to drop in and nurse.

[mnchkds1]

I called a few daycare centers because I was curious as to their ratio, and was told Virginias ratio is 4:1 in centers.

[Anonymous]

Before anyone leaves your baby with a person who has three additional babies to care for, first try it yourself. No one in his right mind would ever expect any kind of responsible care in that sort of situation. It is just not possible. My best friend has triplets, and I was there to help when they were babies. Really, don't kid yourselves. Your baby deserves better.

[Anonymous]

Wow! Thank you for your fabulous input! Now go back to your desk and color

[Anonymous]

Maryland has a 3-1 ratio for infant care and I actually think it works really well. I think it is different than being home with triplets because the staff are fully focused on the kids (not trying to do household tasks at the same time). And there are two staff for six kids, so there is always an extra set of eyes. (Also, at least one baby is often napping at a given time.) I'm glad to be in MD for the 3-1 ratio. It would be harder with 4 babies.

[Anonymous]

mnchkds1 wrote:I called a few daycare centers because I was curious as to their ratio, and was told Virginias ratio is 4:1 in centers.

Yes - but many daycare centers maintain better ratios than they are required. For example, the Bright Horizons at Tysons has a 4:1 ration while the Bright Horizons in Arlington has a 3:1 infant ratio. They can't have more than 4:1, but they can obviously have less.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to keep in mind that no daycare situation is ever going to be perfect. Even as parents, we aren't perfect. But if they acknowledged the mistake and you feel otherwise comfortable with the center and the caregivers, then give it some more thought. If you have to go back to work on July 1, at this late date are you really going to find another option, what happens if you can't find a part time nanny in the next 2 weeks. So maybe you should take the spot and monitor the situation very carefully and in the meantime, look for alternate options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

mnchkds1 wrote:I called a few daycare centers because I was curious as to their ratio, and was told Virginias ratio is 4:1 in centers.

Yes - but many daycare centers maintain better ratios than they are required. For example, the Bright Horizons at Tysons has a 4:1 ration while the Bright Horizons in Arlington has a 3:1 infant ratio. They can't have more than 4:1, but they can obviously have less.

Actually this is because Arlington County requires a 3:1 ratio as opposed to the state's 4:1 for infants.

Notice there are very few chain daycare centers in the County as the higher ratio translates into higher costs for the center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

mnchkds1 wrote:I called a few daycare centers because I was curious as to their ratio, and was told Virginias ratio is 4:1 in centers.

Yes - but many daycare centers maintain better ratios than they are required. For example, the Bright Horizons at Tysons has a 4:1 ration while the Bright Horizons in Arlington has a 3:1 infant ratio. They can't have more than 4:1, but they can obviously have less.

Actually this is because Arlington County requires a 3:1 ratio as opposed to the state's 4:1 for infants.

Notice there are very few chain daycare centers in the County as the higher ratio translates into higher costs for the center.

I've toured a lot of centers in both DC and VA, and none have had more than 3:1. not that there aren't a lot of 4:1 centers out there, but my point is that there are also a lot of 3:1 centers that can easily be found. I personally think that 4:1 is too many, especially for a 3 month old who needs a lot of holding. My center has 3:1 and I think they are always hopping, I couldn't imagine them trying to juggle another baby each.