Confused, am I really bisexual?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I came out at 21 and dated women exclusively until 25. I fell in love pretty hard twice, both times unrequited. My heart hurts so much that I can't see myself in a relationship with a woman in the future. I'm 29 now and I've been dating men exclusively for 3 years. I am confident that I want to settle down, but I can't help but feel that I just don't share a strong connection with a guy. I'm puzzled. I've never been in love with any of my boyfriends, I can't have a deep connection whatsoever. But I enjoyed spending time with them and I liked the sex. With women, I just wasn't into the sex. But of course, looking at a woman gets me excited. And I loved connecting with them. I just got out of a relationship, but I want to take the time to figure out what is the best long term fit for me. What is the best way to go about this? |
Anonymous
| I think you are more aligned with women but have not met the right one. |
Anonymous
| Conversely I think you just haven't met the right man yet. |
Anonymous
| Take some time out to really get to know yourself and find out who you really are. Things will fall into place when you least expect it. |
Anonymous
Good advice no matter what your sexual orientation is. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you are bi or pan and just haven't met the right person. |
Anonymous
I am very similar. Dated men from 17-21. Dated women from 21-32 then switched back to men after getting my heart broken. Dated mostly men with a couple exceptions here and there. Now, I'm more interested in dating women at 40 after a rather disappointing but not heartbreaking experience dating a guy. I have only been in love with women. I do not think I am made to have a deep soul connection with a man. I enjoy sex (VERY MUCH  ) with both. I guess the best way to go about it is to let yourself be attracted to whoever. I believe you have to seek women out more than men, so if you're interested in dating women, you have to go into the community.
|
Anonymous
|
Sounds to me that your issue is not your sexual orientation but that you have problems with intimacy regardless of the gender of the person you're dating. I noticed that you said you fell really hard for two women but it was unrequited. With the men, you had relationships but you didn't "fall hard" for them. Maybe you have a hard time being intimate with anyone who is actually available.
At any rate, can you just leave yourself open to either gender and see who comes along? |
Anonymous
This. The fact that you are open to and desire both genders to a degree means you're probably somewhere on the spectrum that isn't totally gay or totally straight. Where exactly is debatable and for many bi/pan people that isn't really stable. It sounds like you haven't met the right person, and maybe have some personal issues to deal with to be ready when they do come along. |
Anonymous
| Just focus on your own life for a while and see who you fall in love with. |
bookworm
Member Offline
Member Offline
+1 |
Anonymous
|
You are bi/pan but only have romantic love and intimacy for women. You need to work through your hurt and figure out how to love again. Love is risky but I think it's worth it.
-Bi woman who usually falls in love with men |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you are definitely more interested with women and that that will be the ultimate love of your life. |
Anonymous
|
Does it really matter which sex the other person is?
That's how I feel sometimes. At the end of the day, I want someone kind and reliable. Period. |
Anonymous
| Stop dating for a while, and focus on yourself. Find out who you are. Travel. Experience. Explore. Have a few encounters with no strings attached. |